If you’ve noticed a sudden change in your hair but are still loyal to your go-to products, it could be time to take a look at your water. Water hardness differs from state to state and may be to blame. Read on to learn what hard water is, how it affects hair, and how to get your hair back to its roots.
What Is Hard Water?
Water that contains a large amount of minerals, especially calcium and magnesium, is called hard water. It forms as water passes through limestone and chalk. While hard water isn’t harmful, the buildup of minerals can change the texture and feel of hair.
The dissolved minerals in hard water coat hair, which can make it feel rough and dry. While one study found that hard water doesn’t affect hair strength or elasticity, the buildup can make styling more difficult and cause color-treated hair to fade quicker. Since hair feels more straw-like and knotty, it’s also be more difficult to brush.
The Truth Behind Clarifying Shampoos
Chelating shampoos, also known as clarifying shampoos, use ingredients that bind to minerals and other buildup. When you rinse the shampoo out, the minerals and gunk from styling products go with it. Clarifying shampoos are dryingbecause they also remove natural oils, so it’s best to limit their use to once a week or once a month, depending on how dry your hair is. Always follow up with a deep conditioner to combat any drying effects.
How to Restore Colored Hair
If hard water has dulled your dye, you don’t need to increase the damage with frequent touch-ups. Instead, ask your stylist for a glaze or gloss which adds shine and pigmentation on strands. The drugstore beauty aisles are also packed with at-home formulas that aren’t damaging, as long as you follow the instructions.
Glazes and glosses differ slightly. A glaze is a temporary formula that can be clear or have slight pigment to add shine. It does not use peroxide or ammonia to deposit color into cuticles, but instead sits on top of strands. A glaze can last one to two weeks and is primarily used to boost shine.
A gloss is a semi-permanent, transparent formula that smooths the surface by filling in strands. It adds a protective layer for shine and color longevity. A gloss can last three to four weeks and is best if you’re looking to maintain your current color.
On the Other End of the Spectrum: Soft Water
Soft water contains only small amounts of minerals. With soft water, it can feel difficult to rinse out all the shampoo and conditioner, and hair may feel limp and greasy. Try volumizing products to prevent limp hair, and use only a small amount of conditioner on the ends to prevent weighing down the roots. As with hard water, a clarifying shampoo in your routine can help remove product buildup.
Before you change your routine, determine if you have hard or soft water. If you’re worried your water is doing a number on your hair, get tips from your stylist. He or she should be able to suggest products or methods based on your hair texture.
Danielle Emig is a freelance writer and lipstick lover living in New York City. Originally from Portland, she moved to the big city with only a suitcase full of shoes and a mind bursting with dreams. It was her desire for adventure that led her to NYC, and even working unpaid internships and odd jobs to make ends meet — like cocktail waitressing at a pirate-themed bar — wouldn’t deter her from making it as a writer and editor. Two years later, she landed at InStyle Magazine and hasn’t looked back since. When she’s not sipping out of a lipstick-stained wineglass, Danielle loves to cook, make jewelry, and hang out on her fire escape.
Growing up tiny framed was very challenging for me as it placed me in an uncomfortable space where bullying occurred. While I was skinny as a pole, my peers blossomed into curvy women. I remained small until I gave birth to my first child.
Being highly critical of myself is only one of the reasons why I struggled with inner peace. My thoughts were full of negative self chatter. Because of this, I began to experience more chaotic circumstances. Life lesson learned, we must check our energy as we are always creating on autopilot.
Because my peace was disturbed due to self image issues, I could not find much good in my life-if at all- during the time. There was no peace within me.
I have had many other moments in my younger adult life but I eventually got to a point where I started looking at myself in the mirror and acknowledging how very proud of myself I am for breaking that mental chain.
Below are four questions that I ask myself when I am faced with inner conflict that have been transformational and helps me maintain my inner peace in challenging times.
I ask myself these four questions:
What is perfect?
Everyone is unique so who is the perfect person that we are trying to compare ourselves to resulting in inner criticism chit chat?
Whether you are comparing physical appearance, financial status, etc. it can be easy to find yourself emotionally and mentally imprisoned to the circumstances. This is not a peaceful state of being. For me, it is very chaotic and causes a lot of anxiety.
Is it worth my peace?
Is the situation going to interfere with your peace of mind? Will it disturb your sleep or cause high stress levels? Your inner peace is imperative to being able to calmly withstand, understand, and overstand what is taking place and to trust the lesson within that circumstance that will be exposed in time if you seek understanding.
What can I learn from this?
Looking at what you could learn from something maintains the student within. You are always learning and therefore can teach to help others do the same. A lesson learned enhances life as we constantly grow.
Am I trying to control everything instead of allowing divinity to take place?
It can be easy to get in your own way. Trusting the process is important as your energy does contribute to your reality. If you are trying to control every aspect of a situation it could cause many more disappointments.
We must remember, we are not in this alone. Have faith and wait on divine intervention while you continue to put one foot in front of the other towards a better you.
Incorporate these questions into your daily life for at least thirty days. After that, take a good look at yourself, your attitude about life, how some things may have shifted and so on.
Life is like a rollercoaster. One minute I am up and the next I am screaming internally as I dive to the bottom swiftly.
I sometimes ask myself what have I done to keep finding myself in this familiar space. This question swirls around in my thoughts and consumes my entire day – if I allow it. A lady wants answers! Spirit provided me a message in the most unexpected way.
Starting Over Again
My family recently moved into our beautiful new home after being homeless for over six months due to job and family circumstances. Once again, a familiar space. Life is so unpredictable. Who wants to experience being homeless twice? The good thing is we can overcome challenging times as these so it’s not the end of the world although it feels like it when you are going through.
Very often I browse yard sale groups and Facebook marketplace to get what nots. I came across a listing of a basket I wanted and it was accompanied by some baby books. I reached out to arrange a time to pick up the basket.
The contact person asked if I would also take the expecting mothers baby books as she wanted to get rid of them. They would not have served me but I thought about a friend who shared with me that one of their friends is expecting. She also gave me a baby swing to give away.
In this pile of books there was one that was not a baby book titled Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul. I decided to keep it as something was telling me that I needed to hold onto that one.
Chicken Soup for the Unsinkable Soul
I found myself stuck in my head again asking the Universe why me and then it hit me. Tell your mind to shut up for a minute and go get that darn Chicken Soup book. So I did.
Chapter one was just for me. I will not share the entire book with you because you must read it if you are experiencing troubled times but I will share how this book helped me right away.
The first story in this book talked about a man who planted trees. A fellow friend asked him why doesn’t he water his trees and furthermore why does he beat them with a newspaper every morning. How could you expect the trees to flourish the friend asked. The man’s response was that he was growing strong trees that could deeply root themselves to find the water they needed and beating them with the paper woke them up.
This may sound silly but it worked! The trees grew strong and robust.
The friend decided to grow his own trees. He watered them often and treated them with such great care. Well, his trees did not compare to his friends, in fact they were very weak. He admired the robust trees so much that he still rode by them to admire their beauty twenty five years later.
My mouth and mind was wide open. The trees had more than enough water to supply their needs but they had to deeply root themselves. In doing so they became strong and able to withstand various conditions.
The newspaper beatings appear harsh but just like life, obstacles and circumstances can be harsh. Does that mean we should throw in the towel?
The trees grew to be strong and robust. As we take the steps to ground ourselves we can withstand our obstacles and grow beautifully and strong because of them just like the trees.
Essential oil blends are one of my favorite go to’s for relaxation, internal health, skin care and hair care. They are a potent medicinal part of a plant that supports overall health.
I connected with the owner of Heaven Scent Rejuvenating Oils (Sherrie Sullivan) in a business group on Facebook and inquired about trying her blends for relaxation and eczema. We had an in depth consultation over the phone to discuss my needs. I received my blends within one week. She advised me not to apply the oil to broken bleeding skin as it could cause it to burn. Fortunately, I was not experiencing skin irritation to that extent so I was able to use it right away. It was soothing and smelled great.
The relaxation blend is wonderful as it relaxed me immediately after application. Before getting ready for bed, I smelled the blend and applied to the tip of my nose.
This blend helped me to wind down and sleep peacefully the entire night. Right before bed can be the worst when your mind is in overdrive. Great rest paves the way for a great start in the morning and improves overall health.
Getting a blend from Heaven Scent Rejuvenating Oils was a great choice because they took the time to listen to my personal needs and educated me on the many benefits of their products and more.
If you are a beginner at using essential oils, they have a lot of knowledge that can help boost your confidence in incorporating oils into your lifestyle to better your health.
Order your personalized blend. http://www.heavenscentrejuvenatingoils.com/.
Taking CBD for back pain relief is becoming more and more popular as many are opting for a more natural way to treat their pain. Consequently, many medications contain ingredients that can be harmful and cause unwanted side effects. Alternatively, CBD may be a safer option.
According to the American Chiropractic Association, back pain is the single leading cause of disability, therefore, preventing many people from engaging in work and other day activities. And, I was in that number. I experienced back pain for a little over six months.
Sanare Smart offers CBD products to help reduce pain. CBD can provide effective relief from arthritis and joint pain. Additionally, it contains natural anti-inflammatory ingredients that reduce pain and ease stiffness. Lastly, it can be beneficial in treating conditions such as anxiety and depression.
Sanare Smart researches and develops pain relief products utilizing cannabinoids, terpenoids, and essential oils. All of their products use hemp derived cannabinoids together with organic essential oils and terpenes for maximum pain relief.
I decided to give CBD a try to manage my upper back pain . The two products I used were the California Orange Tincture and the Advanced Topical Pain Relief Lotion/Cream.
Twice a day, I placed the CBD tincture underneath my tongue and held it there for 60 seconds before swallowing. Then, I applied the Advanced Topical Pain Relief Lotion on my neck, shoulders and upper back for maximum pain relief.
The tincture has an aroma and taste of orange zest. Surprisingly, the topical pain relief cream has a very pleasant spicy aroma that sends me on a journey of reminiscing about holiday spice desserts. You are sure to smell tasty! Undoubtedly, the combination of the CBD tincture and CBD pain relief lotion worked together to reduce my pain.
CBD and the Chiropractor
According to Ability Rehabilitation, the nervous system uses the spine to transmit electrical impulses resulting in feelings of sensation. A damaged spinal cord can interrupt neural responses, disabling sensations in certain parts of the body.
After learning this, I decided that it was time to visit a doctor to check on the health of my spine. I am such a lucky gal! I found a chiropractor who is also passionate about holistic health. Pairing my visits to the chiropractor with Sanare Smart products helped me to naturally reduce and eventually completely eliminated my pain.
My chiropractor advised me that complications of the spine can ultimately result in symptoms such as constipation, breathing problems, uterine disorders, headaches, nausea, trouble sleeping, menstrual cycle disorders and bladder problems- just to name a few.
It can benefit you greatly to visit a chiropractor.
Discovering the Root Cause
Understanding the root cause of your pain is very important. Instead of taking care of the original problem, many choose to take medications to soothe symptoms. This is also known as band-aiding.
Addiction to pain pills can also occur if you do not get down to the niddy griddy of why you are experiencing pain. In my case, I learned my spine is not as healthy as it can be so I am taking the steps to take care of the root cause.
Getting my spine healthier includes visiting my chiropractor weekly for adjustments. I must say that after a couple weeks of visiting my doctor and using Sanare Smart products, I no longer experience pain that interrupts my day. I have more energy and can enjoy my day without having to lay down to rest due to my back pain.
Many people tolerate their pain and it has become a huge part of their everyday life. You do not have to live this way. Stop existing and start living!
Reduce your pain today with Sanare Smart products.
My name is Shara and I am a 36 year old woman with a neurological disorder called Charcot Marie Tooth (CMT). I was diagnosed with CMT when I was six years old and a recent immigrant to the United States. My condition is progressive; I started out with leg braces, and at nineteen, when I got my first job, I decided that using a wheelchair full-time would better suit my needs. CMT also affects my hands, causing progressive and severe weakness.
Dealing with a debilitating condition is tough, and loving myself despite of it is my life challenge. I come from a Caribbean background where people with disabilities are viewed as unable to contribute to society, which is unlike more developed countries, such as the United States. Growing up, I would often hear, “You’re worthless” or “You would be so beautiful if you weren’t disabled”(talk about a back handed compliment!), and as a result, for most of my life, I required the validation of others. In my eyes, I was worthless unless someone acknowledged something positive about me.
When the outside affirmations weren’t coming in as much anymore, I was devastated. It took me having to hit rock bottom emotionally to realize something very profound: Deep down inside of all of us, there is a light, it may be just a flicker of a flame, but it’s still there. That light is love, the worth we have for ourselves. Learning to cultivate that light has been the most difficult yet rewarding journey of my life.
One way I found really helpful to nourish that light is practicing self-care. Every night, after a warm shower, I put on some relaxing music, and I start a 6 step skin care routine. In doing this, I feel reconnected to myself and my glowing skin is an added benefit that I love! Changing the way I speak to myself has also been critical in my self love journey. To me, self love means speaking positive, kind and compassionate things but also checking myself in a way that is firm yet loving.
These are just a few of the ways that I practice self love, and it’s something that I will practice for the rest of my life. Of course, there are still some days when I feel low and without purpose, and on those days I remind myself: It’s a bonus when other people love you but the true prize is to love yourself wholly and completely. I am enough..and you are too.
Hi, my name is Lydia Perry and I am from Chattanooga TN. I currently reside in Memphis Tn.
I have been natural since 2010. I decided I wanted my hair to be healthier and embrace my natural roots. Growing up in the 80’s we were taught that relaxed hair was more acceptable. I wanted to show women that kinky hair is beautiful.
I actually had really good support from my daughters. My oldest was already natural. Now all of the women in my family are natural including my mom, sisters, daughters and nieces.
I had a few friends who felt it would hurt me in my career. Working in a Corporate environment, your polished appearance is strongly stressed.
Sometimes I hear when are you going perm your hair, I smile and say never!
I did a big chop in 2008 and transitioned into a loose natural in 2010. I wore my hair loose natural for seven years and loc’d my hair in 2017, nearing my two year anniversary March 25, 2019.
I love using natural products on my hair. Currently my favorites are Beekman’s Goat Shampoo Bar for washing my hair. I also love doing hot oil treatments with vitamin e oil. I love Taliah Waajid healing oil. I love Jojoba oil, castor oil, rose water, olive oil, tea tree oil and peppermint oil. Those are my must have staples.
I believe in simplicity. I usually do a hot oil treatment every four months. I moisturize my locs every other day with my rose water and oil spritz. I use the heavier oils during the winter months to help combat dryness. Heavy oils are castor oil and peppermint oils.
I usually shampoo twice a month or as needed if heavy sweating. I spritz and oil my hair every other day. I cover my locs with a satin scarf each night while sleeping. I also use a silk pillow case.
I do not believe natural hair is a fad. Women are falling in love with their natural hair again! Loving the diversity of styles and textures. I believe it is only going to get better!
My daughters are my biggest inspiration! They have always embraced their hair regardless of who was watching. I also have many social media influencers who have inspired me along my journey, Zen Lioness, Desiree Marie, Naturalista4me, Auset, just to name a few! Lol
If I could say something to inspire someone who is feeling discouraged about their journey, I would tell them to love themselves just the way God created you! Beauty comes in all shapes, sizes, and textures of hair. You are uniquely you! Just as the diversity in beauty of flowers, so is your hair. It is a beautiful flower waiting to bloom for the world to see!
If someone would have told me more than five years ago that I could create my life I would have called bull. It was not until I hit rock bottom that I discovered law of attraction. In 2014 I was a full-time student and worked at a sports bar at night. My husband was a salesman and traveled often for his job. Some days were great, and others were a complete flop. I on the other hand only made enough money to keep gas in our truck and purchase food. That was a lot of pressure on my husband as we have four kiddos. Read more>>
I was relieved of my duties at my job and I could not be more happier. I know you are probably saying who gets happy about losing a job?! This chick!
I have been employed with a company for almost one year and over the past six months I have been very unhappy there. My position required that I create and set the tone for the facility and this required strenuous work physically and mentally.
I am a creative person so doing this was not the problem. The problem was when my creative ideas were considered “too much” by people who feared taking leaps but when I would tone down my creativity I was looked at like I did not do enough. Damned if you do damned if you do not type of atmosphere.
This weighed heavy on me for awhile and this contributed to the imbalance in my life. I dreaded going to work and it took a lot more self care to deal with the stresses. I started diffusing essential oils in my office, smudging and playing binaural beats to keep the good vibes. Due to my love for the people at this location I felt I owed them everything because after all it was my job to keep them happy. Can we really keep everyone happy? No.
I got the job to assist me with my business goals and pay the bills. Quitting seemed impossible as how would I cover the expenses that the job assisted me with? There was no way that I could leave. So many questions went through my head.
I recently had a family emergency that required that I take some time off and I shared this with my Supervisors. When I contacted them back to see if I could use my paid time off hours I then learned that I was terminated.
You would think my first response would be to feel upset but I felt a huge sense of relief in my being. In this moment the universe assured me that I am ok. I lost myself in my job and it imprisoned me as I took on the responsibility of making everyone else’s lives easier (whether they were grateful for me or not) while fighting to stay happy in my own personal life.
I relocated to my location to grow in my career and when I started this job it consumed me. I quit school and started giving my personal works the leftover energy from the day. Losing my job was not hurtful, it freed me. This new journey is one that I am excited about as I have more energy than ever to put towards my passion.
I do believe I would have continued to talk myself into staying but this was the end of the road. New beginnings are now here and I am embracing every moment!
If there is something that I learned from this place of employment it is that I am a special person and a great asset. How great of a job I did still did not disqualify me from being treated as though I was not appreciated. I had to learn how to speak up for myself. I had to stand firm in knowing my worth even when being told that my 100% still was not good enough.
There is something to be learned in everything. I am so appreciative of the lessons that I have learned at this location and I am forever grateful for the release. It is time to soar!
No one is responsible for your emotional and spiritual healing. Not the person/people who caused the pain, not your friends, and certainly not your spouse,
We have been taught from childhood to apologize. When children play and do something wrong to another child we force them to apologize, even when they don’t mean it. Hug it out they said.
We were taught to seek out apologies from the person who wronged you or the situation couldn’t be resolved.
How has this impacted us? We are emotion filled adults who never learned how to deal with emotions associated with apologies that never came. We are now adults that think every poor situation will end in an apology or some sort of reconciliation. We feel that we require or are entitled to an apology following every dissatisfactory moment.
That is not the case. Actually it’s almost never the case.
As we grew into adulthood we carried the burden of all the apologies we never received—our parents dysfunctional home life, high school bullies, places of employment not appreciating us, first real relationships leading to heartbreaks (romantic and platonic).
We spend our time clinging to the idea of a heartfelt apology for all the wrongs that have been done to us, but the problem is most of them won’t ever come.
This social behavior we learned taught us early that others were responsible for our emotional recovery. That once someone accepts responsibility and apologizes then and only then we can move on, but what wasn’t taught, was if the apology doesn’t come.
Despite what childhood taught us:
NO ONE IS RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR EMOTIONAL HEALING.
An apology can go a long way and can even make you feel better it’s not the job of the person to make you feel better. IT’S YOURS.
It’s easy for your friends and/or romantic partner to want to heal you, and while subtle help is okay at times–it’s not their job or responsibility.
The way you receive emotional stress is subjective to you specifically and while some being able to admit fault is the considerate and responsible thing to do—sometimes people have no idea the damage they’ve caused to your spirit—because again, it’s subjective. Sometimes they will know and simply won’t care. *shrugs*
Waiting around for someone to apologize for hurting you:
stops you from healing.
stops you from evolving.
stops you from moving on.
stops you from being the most efficient level of self.
Sitting around wallowing in the sadness someone has caused you is not only counterproductive but also hindering to you and your emotional journey. The objective is to receive what people do and say with a grain of salt and move on. It may hurt and it will take some time and that’s okay as long as it doesn’t consume you. Because at the end of the day, the opinions and feelings of everyone around you prove very heavy to bear.
The hurt we feel from people is a direct reflection of them, not you. See, we all have baggage to carry, but the objective isn’t to become strong enough to carry it all on our backs, but strong enough to let it go and heal. Because letting it go, with or without an apology is the real test of strength.
What if I told you that there is a way to physically shrink your fat cells?
Countless products and diet plans have promised as much, and more. But I am about to reveal the method that has worked wonders for hundreds of people worldwide pursuing fat reduction.
It sounds too good to be true, right? Read on to find out for yourself. Tea has many benefits, for the body, stress and energy levels, and even in the prevention of serious diseases. White, black and green tea have been tested, talked about, and consumed for years on this basis, each with unique but valuable contributions to the body.
More recently, red tea has been recognised as their equal, if not superior. And here’s why – red tea shrinks fat cells.
Rooibos, is a red bush from South Africa. The leaves are used once fermented in the tea’s production, and they offer a range of benefits. My recipe, as featured in the Red Tea Detox, combines rooibos with a specific blend, working to melt fat.
Research has shown that components found in the rooibos plant, such as polyphenols and flavonoids, inhibit the formation of new fat cells by 22 percent.
The tea significantly lowers dangerous fat found in the blood, such as triglyceride concentrations. Other blends such as green tea, although rich in antioxidants, do not have the same impact on fat cells or weight loss. Red tea is an exciting necessity, and one that has the potential to seamlessly entwine itself with your lifestyle.
Sipping the brew burns stubborn problem areas around the body, without an extreme diet or exercise plan. This is a chance to enhance your health as well as your weight loss efforts. And did I mention that it’s delicious?
Finally, we have access to a health product promising fat reduction that bases itself on facts, rather than myths and false hope. Something worthwhile.
It has never been simpler to cut fat
cell growth than it is now, with the Red Tea Detox. Watch for inevitable results as they occur.
Along your natural hair journey you may experience highly critical negative people. It can be challenging to do something different from your normal when dealing with these types of personalities. Some people dislike natural hair and will not keep their negative comments to themselves.
They feel entitled to their opinions and many expect for you to alter just to make them happy.
I am going to share 3 easy ways that I deal with people who give me negative looks or comments along my natural hair journey.
1. Be Confident
When you are confident, negative comments will not effect you as it could if you are not happy with who you are.
Self care is one of the best ways to boost your confidence level. Do things you love. Take care of yourself. Include yourself rather than excluding yourself. Detox your life. Have a spa day. Kick your feet up and read a good book over a glass of wine.
We can be our own worst critic as well. When we are in this head and heart space, it is easier for unwanted comments to get the best of us.
Taking care of your mental, physical and spiritual health supports the existence of harmony in your life.
When you feel good and are in a good spiritual, mental and physical space in your being, you are less bothered by negative comments and looks.
You can choose to act as if you did not hear their comments and keep it moving. Ignore someone enough and they may choose to let it go or nah.
Some people do not take being ignored too well so they may step it up a notch and get louder and bolder and this is when you can result to number three.
Responding in a way to let a person know that you will not alter who you are for them may work. It has for me.
Some of my family and associates did not understand the beginning stages of my loc journey. In the beginning, things were said that could have effected my decision to hang in there on my journey.
When someone looks at you with a face of disgust, it can cause you to feel uncomfortable.
My initial inner response used to be something along the lines of “did I ask you what you think about me?” “Why do you think I live my life for you?”. However, I have never said this out loud.
My responses are always along the lines of:
“hmm, that’s an interesting view.”
“I have yet to have trouble doing anything that I desire due to my hair.” (hump shoulders and walk off)
“Are you done?” Then redirect the conversation.
These are some of the responses that I use as it varies from situation to situation.
Stand firm in who you are and your decisions. You are unique and should remain that way so that you can add value to the world through your purpose.
You can not maintain a happy state of mind if you are someone who alters yourself for others satisfaction. It may feel ok at first, but in time you may find yourself disconnected more than ever from your true self.
Naturalista4me made the Top 50 Natural Hair Blog List
Cutting your hair “big chop style” can be scary to imagine – I get it. I thought I would look horrible going from bone straight shoulder length hair to a short haircut. I often asked myself, what would everyone else think of me? Yea, I was concerned with what others may think but here I am now many years later without a care in the world of judgments on my hair.
Many of you already know that I am rocking semi-free form locks and I can assure you, in the beginning stages of my lock journey, many thought I went bonkers. I began my natural hair journey in 2011. I eventually chose to lock my hair. I started my locks from a short tapered cut August of 2015.
One of my customers told me she thought I was going through a state of depression (or something) as it appeared as if I had let myself go. Whoa!
Due to my personal fear of the big chop, I chose to return natural by transitioning to my natural texture. Transitioning is the process of discontinuing to relax (chemical processing) and growing the hair out while leaving the relaxed ends attached. This provides more length and for many, comfort.
After transitioning for one year, I decided to do the chop!
With the below steps, you can transition easily and master some basic techniques that can prepare your for caring for your beautiful natural crown.
1. Completely Let Go of the Relaxer
I must be honest and say that taking the journey to transitioning can have its’ challenges as you must work with two different textures to achieve styles. Many beginner naturals have the tendency to apply relaxer onto their edges to keep a slick look as the kinkier roots grow in. This is very damaging to the hair and can result in breakage. Applying relaxer to any part of your hair can be damaging and toxic.
To return natural, you must make your mind up and decide to hang in there and completely let go of the chemical processing. Natural hair is curly so it is expected that your edges may also be curly. It is a part of the natural process. Embrace it!
2. Take Special Care of Your Hair
Returning natural does not mean that you do not do anything. You must still take care of your hair. During the transitioning phase, you are dealing with a combination of chemically processed hair and your natural hair. If you do not take the time to wash, condition, deep condition, get trims and wide tooth comb, finger detangle or brush your hair, breakage/damage will soon follow. This alone can cause you to become discouraged as your hair may become hard to manage and is dry and brittle.
Starting your natural hair journey with a simple hair care regimen can help reduce the overly exaggerated complications that you may have heard about natural hair. When your mind is made up that you are going to do this, you will not look at your hair journey obstacles as reasons to stop but more so a challenge of how you can perfect your hair care regimen.
Do not neglect your crown because your hair will frown.
3. Wear Protective Styles
Wearing protective styles is a great way to transition if styling your hair on the regular is not convenient for you. Some protective style options are braids, twists and crochet. I would not suggest wearing tight sew in’s and glue in’s. These style options can be very damaging to your hair and stunt your hair growth.
Wearing protective styles allows for you to tuck away the ends of your hair strands therefor protecting your fragile ends from constant manipulation, breakage and any harsh weather conditions.
4. Wear Different Styling Options to Blend the Two Textures
There are hair style options that you can wear that do not include extensions. Some examples are: Bantu knot outs, roller sets, flat twist outs and braid outs. These hairstyle options help to blend the two different textures so that you can rock your natural hair as you desire without the two textured look. You can treat your entire head like it is natural and set your hair before bed in twists or braids, unravel in the morning and whoolah, you have created an over night style!
These styles are popular among the fully natural hair community so this is the perfect time to get in your practice.
5. Let It Go
In order for you to be completely natural, you must eventually let go of your chemically processed ends. Holding on to them will only aggravate you and hinder your natural hair growth. I transitioned for one year and decided that holding on to the relaxer was causing me more frustration than I had anticipated so they had to go.
My husband gave me a good chop with the clippers. I did not start from a low fade more so a teeny weeny afro (TWA). Once I did that, my growth took off! I felt a huge relief. I was now able to rock a fro with a headband without straggly ends of chemical processed hair. I cut off my relaxed ends in 2011. I have not looked back. Let it go. You can do it!
It is very rare that you will find someone who does not own a mobile device of some sort. In order for these devices to work, they must emmitt EMF/EMR (electro magnetic fields/electro magnetic radiation).
Radiation can be harmful to you with over exposure. With the constant use of my computer and cellphone, I wanted to find something that could protect me.
I placed a radiation protection device on my mobile phone and computer, a little over three months ago.
There are many different radiation protection devices but they are not created equal.
EMF/EMR is needed for your mobile device to work so if you applied a device that blocks EMF/EMR then your mobile device may work harder to function properly therefor emitting more radiation.
I came across a company that has a complete understanding of this and they have designed devices that can be applied to your mobile devices and clothes.
Instead of blocking EMF/EMR, Aires Technologies designs and develops microprocessors that reduce the adverse effects of electromagnetic radiation.
Excessive exposure to radiation can cause a number of health concerns, most specifically damage to cell tissue, including cancer.
I had the pleasure of organizing and teaching about the benefits of herbal tea at The Lodge at Natchez Trace Senior Assisted Living facility located in Nashville, TN. It was an amazing experience as the residents enjoyed selective herbal teas that they felt best suited their needs.
I offered a variety of teas and educated on the herbs that each consisted of and how it could benefit their health. The residents had a lot of questions (in which I love) so I thoroughly enjoyed engaging with them to figure out which tea they would like to try.
To get away from the “class is in session” feel, I decided to present this discussion about teas in a themed tea party setting. With the help of a lady I just adore (Joyce), we turned a space into a beautiful tea party theme. Due to HIPAA, I am unable to share most of the images captured but everything turned out beyond my expectations!
No resident sat alone due to our seating placements and this encouraged socialization. I personally believe it is important to have a social life throughout your entire life. I have observed that many seniors have a routine and this routine consists of being alone, watching TV, reading and/or any other activities that they could do alone. When I am working with seniors, I encourage them to create new friendships and relationships. I encourage them to continue to learn and share what they have learned with their loved ones. Many are facing different health complications and wish for their loved ones to make better decisions.
After the residents were seated, I then discussed the benefits of drinking herbal tea. Residents were given a variety of teas to choose from. Most of them chose a tea for stress relief and relaxation. I also do relaxation meditation at this facility to assist those who have a hard time calming their mind and getting good rest.
My goal is to continue to share natural options for supporting ones health with as many people as I possibly can. More and more seniors are seeing about their health and desire to make the necessary changes. Many simply do not know where to start. This is where I come in. I love to provide information as you cannot do what you do not know how to do. I like to place people in “the know”. Knowledge is power. The more we learn, the better off we are.
As a senior, you can still make decisions that can have a huge impact on your health. Many are prescribed long lists of medications and no one wants to keep up with taking many pills a day. What about those side effects? Taking steps to prevent or revert disease is something in our control and we can do it. It will take discipline. You can do this!
If you are not yet a senior, just know that what you do now will compound and you will see a result from it. What will your results look like?
I have lived majority of my life in crippling fear. One of my biggest fears was dying so anything that seemed too risky, I did not want any part of it. There were some days I was afraid to drive after seeing accidents on the highway or hearing of someone dying due to an accident. I was afraid to fly after hearing stories about plane crashes. I was afraid to take a cruise because of boat sinking tragedies like the Titanic. I also grew fearful of dogs and cats.
When I was a child, my mother made it very clear to my siblings and me that she was afraid of cats and dogs. Although she feared dogs, my mother bought me a dog that I named Lady. She was a Labrador Retriever. Her fur coat was golden, and she had light brown hazelnut hued eyes. We shared the same birth day. Lady took care of a family of kittens once. It amazes me how she also knew that my mother did not like cats. She would sneak them across the yard and would sometimes hide them in a bush or in her dog house. I even caught her guiding them to a hole that was in our woodened fence. After many attempts to guide them through the fence, they eventually made their way through and went off into the world.
One day, my mother was calling out to me while I was outside feeding a kitten some milk that I had snuck from our refrigerator. I was keeping this kitten hidden in a kitchen playset that my mother placed outside. When I heard her voice getting closer, I hurried and parted ways from it.
My mother asked me what I was doing, and I told her nothing. She knew I was up to something and began looking through my kitchen set. She noticed a bowl of milk and some material that I placed in it for a bed for the kitten. She got very upset and told me to stay away from cats because she does not like them.
From that moment, I stayed away from cats. I began to avoid cats and even got to the point of fearing them. How did I go from being a cat lover to being fearful of them? Many of my fears do not stem from my own personal encounters, they stem from things that are presented to me repeatedly through different vessels. Social media, friends, the news, TV shows, coworkers, spouse, society and many more can have an influence on your perspective.
We are born to our parents who have their own fears. As a child you are influenced by those that take part in your experiences. Your teachers, peers and parents can shape your perspective on the world.
What they fear, they will try to protect you from and eventually you could find yourself having the same fears. You do not give life a chance when you place big red warning signs on things that you have yet to experience for yourself because those around you are fearful of them.
We must ask ourselves, are we living our lives due to other’s fears and limitations?
Take the time to write down your fears. Then, tackle them one by one. You can do this!
After writing down my fears, I began to take the steps to overcome those fears. Some of my fears were, riding through certain areas, having a plane crash, sinking on a cruise ship and let’s not forget those cats.
I took a trip that required I fly and marked that off the list. I took a cruise and marked that off the list. I keep going down my list and marking things off.
Another method I use is to write my fears down on a sheet of paper and then burn it. Poof! Into flames it goes. This may seem too simple to work but there is always a weight that is lifted from me and therefore I become more motivated.
Fear stands in the way of your progress.
Don’t let the fear of what might happen make nothing happen.
Herbal teas are a favorite of mine as they are very beneficial for your health. I use herbal tea for digestive health, skin care (eczema), hair care, detox, when I am feeling under the weather ,to support the proper functioning of my organs and more.
Losing weight is a challenge for many so I wanted to share a healthy way for you to melt away the pounds.
Prescription medications may work but my question for you is are you aware of what the weight loss pill consists of? What about the long lists of side effects?
Herbs are natural and the body can process them and most of all accept them. Nature is the original medicine.
When it comes to weight loss many become discouraged. It can get costly to purchase healthier foods. It can be challenging to stick to a gym schedule when so much is happening already within your daily schedule.
What about those Moms who are always ripping and running from work to support their children’s schedules with recreational activities, doctor visits and school functions ? Or the people who are wearing an array of hats?
The reality is, many of us have busy daily lives and sticking to a weight loss plan can be challenging.
Their is a natural herbal tea that safely controls your cravings and can help you lose weight fast.
What if you could melt away 1 pound of fat every 72 hours?
Learn more about this powerful red herbal tea here.
Hair tends to be dryer in the winter months. The cool wind blows through your kinks and makes it challenging to maintain shiny, soft and moisturized (minus the greasiness/oiliness) hair.
There are three easy and simple ways to maintain healthy growing moisturized hair in the winter.
1. Protective Styling
Styles that tuck away the hair so that the fragile ends are not exposed to cold temperatures are known as protective styles.
Protective styling is not just for the winter months as I have noticed that many naturals also protective style in the summer. We can chop that up to the heat!
Protective styling is not limited to a certain time of the year. Many do it all year round for convenience.
Protective Style Options:
Pinning the hair up into buns and other updo hairstyle options allows for the ends of your hairstrands to be tucked away from the cold and dry air. Selective updos can also allow for you to retain moisture, length, and style.
Minimal maintenance will also benefit you as you will not be pulling and tugging on your hair everyday.
During the winter months is challenging for many as it is the holiday season. Many are stressing about pleasing their children by purchasing everything (and some) of what they have asked Santa (or you) for.
Stressing for prolonged periods can contribute to health complications. Anytime their is an imbalance in the body, the normal functioning of body systems are at risk.
Stress may contribute to hair loss if not handled accordingly. How you deal with stress is what will determine it’s effects on your health.
3. Simple Moisturizing Hair Care Regimen
It can get expensive to jump from product to product trying to find one that will keep your hair shiny and moisturized. This can put a dent in your finances. This can surely bring on the stress.
Incorporate steaming, essential oils blended with a carrier oil, scalp massages and protective styling to maintain healthy growing hair.
There was a girl who was very creative. She spent a lot of time alone as a child and her mind would take her to places she could not explain to her social circle or family.
She chose to hide a huge part of herself as she wanted to appear to be as normal as possible. She wore clothes that did not attract attention. Her hairstyles were basic as she carefully selected them so that she would not stand out.
She catered to others and redirected conversations that put her on the spot so that she would not have to talk much about herself.
She perfected this way of existing and before you know it she began to feel as if something was missing. How long can a person go keeping a huge part of who they are under wraps from a judgemental society? She processed differently so she felt noone could ever see her perspective. Her opinions were ‘to out there and crazy‘.
Depression soon followed as she continued to be what she thought others needed her to be.
She worked jobs that were acceptable by her loved ones. She lived in a location that was suffocating her as her family wanted her near. She attempted to move and eventually went on a guilt trip because she left people who needed her.
She reached the age of thirty and knew in her soul that change was necessary. Her life was now on autopilot as she made herself available for all who needed her. She was not always up to par to wear the hats that she sometimes had to but she did it because she wanted to please others. She wanted to be the one to bring joy to others but in that she did not maintain her joy and peace. She got lost.
That girl is now thirty-three and she is me. The continuance of people pleasing into my adulthood became a hindrance to my growth. I felt afraid to jump for my dreams because it may not be accepted. I felt afraid to share my goals as the energy I received from some screamed “you are crazy to ever think you can do that.” “Who do you think you are?”
I passed up opportunities to keep the peace. I would tell myself not to appear successful because I did not want to attract any attention from those that I was so concerned about their opinions.
If you are a people pleaser then this blog post is for you. I have lived the majority of my life pleasing others, hiding and dimming my shine. I sometimes still battle with shining my light. My inner chat is not always where it should be but when this begins to happen you must pull yourself out that state of mind.
My inner chat sometimes goes like this:
You are not capable.
Some of my loved ones will make things harder for me as I expand.
More money more problems.
I do not want to appear smarter in any way.
What if I do not know all the answers?
What if I embarrass myself?
What if my family was right?
What if I don’t have enough money?
I can go on and on.
As I dug deeper into myself I discovered that I have a purpose and there is no way that I can fulfill that by imprisoning myself in what others may think. This is mental prison. Others can not benefit from the effects you will have on the world if you are busy holding yourself captive by determining your moves based on the opinions of people whom are living life stuck in their ego (fear) so they deter you from making any moves outside of their own understanding.
Do you simply accept something you are uncomfortable with? People deal with ‘different’ and ‘change’ in their own way. Let’s not forget to mention that they too have inner chat so you never know where their emotions are coming from.
You can make every decision based on someones approval and I can assure you they will find something else that you can change or do better.
You must stop looking outward for approval and do what you are called to do. Find your purpose and place of peace. Here is where your happiness lies.
Their are people in the world waiting on you to shine. Noone can reach them like you can. Judgmental people will be in your path. People will have their opinions of what you should be doing but the truth is, you don’t need anyone to tell you that. You have that answer within you.
Take a moment to sit quietly and breathe. Think about what makes you happy. Think about your talents. Think about what you enjoyed doing as a child. Are you doing what brings you joy? Are you doing what you want to do and not what others think is best?
If you want to have inner peace and fulfill your dreams, you must learn how to shine no matter what anyone thinks. I promise you, you will thank yourself for not giving a flip flop!
Protective hair styling has become a major part of many natural hair journey’s. These styles are supposed to protect your hair and minimize manipulation that can cause hair breakage. There are many hairstyles that can be considered protective to the hair strands and then there are some that are not as protective as you may think.
Many naturals choose to lean towards extensions for protective styling options. It is a process to get extensions installed. I am going to discuss two not so protective styles that includes extensions.
Braids are a popular protective style choice. They are worn by all cultures, sexes and ages. With the warmer weather gracing us with its’ presence, we can expect to see many braid styles as many flock to the beaches, lakes and waterparks to have some fun in the sun.
Braids are beautiful, but they can also cause hair loss if they are done too tightly. One thing I have noticed with natural hair is that many believe they must grip the hair tightly to catch every curl and edge. This results in a painful scalp, itching, reddening, bumping up and hair loss.
Our hair can shed almost 100 strands a day, so you may notice hair within your braids once you take them down. There is no need to worry. If you notice your edges are itchy and bumpy and you have headaches because of your braids, they are too tight and can not be considered a protective style.
Micro braids and twists used to be one of my favorite go to protective styling options. Even though my hair was popping off around the edges, I would still get them for convenience. I ignored what was taking place with the health of my hair for the sake of convenience and beauty. I can not name one person that is OK with losing hair around their edges. If your braids are too tight, they can not be considered a protective style.
Glue in Weaves
Quick weaves and partial leave out weaves using glue can take a toll on your natural hair. Glue is placed on your crown as an adhesive. When I was a natural hair stylist, I had a customer who had recently gotten a quick weave as a protective style by another stylist. Hair glue was throughout her afro and it was very difficult to get it out. There was also breakage from where the glue would not come out easily.
Chemicals in glue can also be irritating to the scalp and cause itchiness and inflammation. This can delay your healthy hair growth cycle.
These two hair style choices are the most common choices that I have encountered with other naturals. Protective styles should protect and not cause harm to your hair strands and follicles. If you notice irritation or pain from a hair style, I suggest removing it immediately. I know installments can cost a good penny, but the goal is to have a healthy hair growth journey.
I am not against extensions, however, I am not in favor of the harm that it could possibly do to your hair strands and follicles therefore causing you to have to keep covering the damage up with more extensions. If you go to a hair stylist, I always suggest picking one that has the health of your hair at heart first! You want to be able to rock your natural and it be healthy as well as rock your protective styles knowing your hair will still be healthy after taking the extensions out.
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Hair Growth Smoothies
Can drinking smoothies really help your hair to grow?
Drinking smoothies is a great way to get nutrients into your body. Too often we focus our attention on the next best product for our hair. It can be easy to forget that our inner health plays a major role in the health of our hair. Hair grows from follicles in our scalp, so it is important that we maintain a healthy scalp.
I love making smoothies as it is the most convenient way for me to eat a complete meal sometimes. I experiment with different fruits, leafy greens and seeds to prepare tasty blends. I do not need a really tasty smoothie, however, my children and husband will not consume it if I do not make it yummy.
How can drinking a smoothie help my hair to grow?
When you consume nourishing foods, your body can function at it’s best. Improper functioning of the body can cause complications. Inner problems can influence our outer. When there is imbalance in the body, this can influence the hair growth process. Smoothies are an easy way to give your body the nutrients that it needs.
If you are anything like me, it can sometimes be a hassle to sit down and enjoy a meal with a busy schedule. I am working on time management so that I can sit down and enjoy my meals throughout the day. Until I get this together, smoothies are to my rescue.
For your smoothie to be a meal replacement you would need to make sure it consists of sufficient protein. Protein is an important building block for bones, muscles, cartilage, skin and blood. Almost 80% of human’s hair is made up of protein. It is important for hair growth.
Spinach and kale are great protein sources. They are always at the base of my smoothies. I choose one or the other. The fruits that I have added to my blend so far are blueberries, strawberries, bananas, mangoes, pineapple and apples. I also add flax seeds or chia seeds, coconut water or almond milk.
As you begin to make your own smoothies, you will find your rhythm and create your own blends.
How do you make a smoothie?
Of course, I couldn’t let you go without answering this question for you!
Choose your ingredients (leafy greens, fruits, seeds, water, almond milk or coconut water)
Add to blender
Smoothies are super easy to make and a major part of my daily lifestyle. Your body will thank you for it!
Many naturals are coloring their hair and I have rocked a few colors myself. Vibrant colors are making bold statements as many are expressing themselves by coloring their hair. You may notice that your color fades quickly and this is an absolute bummer. If your vibrant red is fading, it will have a dull appearance and can sometimes look orange.
I do not know anyone who wants dull looking hair. If you are getting your hair dyed professionally, your beautician may tell you how to care for your hair at home and what products to use to preserve your color. I love it when stylists give care instructions. I used to work in a salon in Atlanta, GA, Capri Salon, and we would write hair prescriptions. I thought it was the coolest idea ever to give home hair care instructions.
So, you just colored your hair and now a week or two later you wash it. You notice your color is a bit dull. What do you do? Why is this happening?
Many shampoos contain chemicals that strip the hair of any build up. Unfortunately, these types of shampoos strip the hair of everything, including some of your color. If your hair dye is permanent, the color was able to penetrate the hair strand and get into the cortex of the hair strand where most of the pigments are. Pigments give the hair color. Hair dye also coats the outside of the strand. For those who use hair dye rinses, the dye is coating the outside of the hair strand. You may notice that your color may fade quicker than those who have permanent hair dye.
If you have color, it is good to use a shampoo that will not strip your hair and dull your shine. There are products that tailor to colored hair and maintaining vibrancy and moisture.
A great option to try is Arbonne Pure Vibrance. It is a botanical based fortifying shampoo that can help your color to last for up to 20 washes. It also cleanses without drying. No one wants to purchase color, take the time to do it or pay a salon top dollar and it only last two washes. That is wasted money!
Invest in a color preserving shampoo and conditioner and your hair will thank you for it!
Have you been experiencing fading color after shampooing?
I had the opportunity to try some of Jamnatura’s products. On a path to bettering my health and maintaining healthy growing hair, I have been leaning more towards natural things. I was excited to try their products.
I received my products quickly and could not wait to dive in! The packaging was nice. It was a brown box with a company label. Inside the box, my products were nicely placed and there was information about the product from the company. The smells were heavenly.
I did a first impression video review. My items were activated charcoal soap, matcha green tea and thyme hair and skin oil and activated charcoal cream. In the video I unboxed, smelled and gave my opinion on the products.
The soap was heavenly. I thoroughly enjoyed how soft and smooth my skin felt after using it. It lathers well and smelled great too. I have been battling with eczema since I was a child and most soaps irritate me. This soap did not irritate me at all.
I used the oil to moisturize my skin daily. I love the scent. The scent reminded me of organic fresh fruits, herbs and spices. I felt earthy, relaxed and most of all at ease knowing I was wearing something that was beneficial for me.
I did not use the charcoal cream as often as I did the oil. I think I am just an oil person. I do make herbal oil infusions myself, so I have a love for oils. The charcoal cream made my skin feel just like the charcoal soap. My skin was soft and looked exfoliated. I only used a very small amount of the cream as a little goes a very long way. Because of this, the cream lasts for a while.
I was in herb heaven yesterday. I had a meeting with a personal trainer and Arbonne Independent Consultant at High Garden. High Garden is a sipping apothecary and herbal store. When I first moved to Tennessee I began looking for herbal stores and asked the locals to recommend a store. One store kept coming up and that was High Garden. I googled the location and took the time to browse their website. I love adding the medicinal properties of herbs to my oils for hair and skin care. I like to give my carrier oils an extra boost. I also drink herbal tea to detox and support good health.
When I walked into the store I stopped for a moment at the entry and took it all in. There was a sign posted near the entry that stated no laptops, so I was hesitant about having my cell phone visible. I decided to go ahead and ask an employee if I could take a few pictures. He granted me permission, so I went for it.
The tone of High Garden is very earthy. I enjoyed a cup of tea to uplift my mood as my day had started off rocky. I browsed around for a few checking out the herb selections. In the back of the store there was a Kombucha bar. I had my four-year son with me and he wanted something to drink so I asked the lady at the bar if they had anything that a child may like. She suggested a lemonade. My son tried it and it wasn’t his cup of tea, but we know how children’s taste buds can be. As an adult I am not as picky about taste when it comes to my health.
My tea definitely enhanced my mood. My original plans were to leave the herb shop and close up in my home all day but instead I ended up staying out and about enjoying the beautiful weather. I even took my little man to the park.
I purchased nettle for an infusion I am making for a customer, natural deodorant, a pine bundle for cleansing my space and a quitting blend for my husband as he is quitting smoking.
I will be revisiting this location. The employees are very knowledgeable about the herbs and products sold. This makes a huge difference. If you have any questions on where to start for your needs, they will guide you in the right direction. They answered every question I had, and I left a satisfied customer.
I recently attended a networking event that I thoroughly enjoyed. I connected with a lady (Kathy) from a local girls Facebook group and learned that she was a personal trainer and independent consultant with Arbonne. Kathy shared an event flyer with me for the Healthy Happy Hour Networking Event. I just had to go! I was interested in learning more about Arbonne products and networking.
The event took place at the Nashville Farmer’s Market. I have always wanted to visit a farmer’s market, so I was excited to be able to visit the location. The time of the event was near the closing hours of many parts of the farmer’s market and I was power walking and looking for the conference room, so I was not able to fully capture what all the market has to offer. I will be revisiting one weekend for sure.
Arbonne is a chemical free product line. This line consists of nutrition, make-up, skin care and bath & body. I had the opportunity to try the make-up at an Arbonne pamper party that I attended this past weekend. My face felt amazing. Although I do not wear full face make-up, I decided to try it anyway. Before applying full face make-up, we had the opportunity to use the facial cleanse. I have never attended a pamper party but this Mama needed some me time and a little pampering.
At the Healthy Happy Hour Networking Event we were able to learn more about the nutritional line and taste test. I am no stranger to protein powders, probiotics and greens blends so I was excited to learn more about Arbonne. I taste tested the vanilla protein and will be using it by adding it to my smoothies. Smoothies are an absolute hit with me as I drink them every day. Sometimes I do meal replacement smoothies that have extra protein on days when I am busy -on the go.
I am very interested in doing the 7-day cleanse by Arbonne. Shall we do a 7-day cleanse challenge? We can hold each other accountable!
I attended an online Masterclass yesterday with Marisa Peer and it was an experience to remember. She is an English nutritionist and hypnotherapist.
I knew that I had some blockages related to my childhood, but I did not know how big of an affect it had on me. I carried it into my adulthood and it has not been easy. Our perspectives shape our lives and I am so glad I took the time to attend the class.
During the end of the masterclass Marisa took us through a hypnosis session that guided us back to our childhood to moments of time that caused the blockages within. She took us back to a time where we were hurting as a child. She guided us on how to talk to our child selves and encouraged us to express love through our words and actions. Something like this may sound off the wall but something has shifted within me for the better.
I did not grow up in my ideal circumstances, but I cannot change anything about my past. I was holding on to my past more than I realized. During the hypnosis I discovered the root cause of my anxieties and other mental blockages. I was also able to see things from a different perspective.
After she guided us to talk to our child self, she directed us to show our child self our present. This put a huge smile on my face. As a child, I wanted to be loved and wanted not just tolerated. I often questioned if I was truly loved as I always felt distant from those around me and did not fit in with a crowd. As a child, I met my best friends at the “outcast table” at school during lunch. We didn’t blend in with a crowd and barely fitted in with each other, but we got to know each other because we understood how it felt to be different.
I was able to show my child self our present and I felt so much joy within because our home is full of unconditional love. I was raised by a stepfather who I always believed loved my mother but tolerated my siblings and me. I am grateful for his support in providing our needs. I desired a father-daughter relationship with him or my biological father but that was not the case for me. My biological father and my mother divorced when I was very young and he relocated to the west coast while my mother stayed on the east coast. I didn’t talk with him much. To this day, we do not have a close relationship and rarely talk. I never thought I was bothered by my father not being in my life, but the hypnosis showed me I was lying to myself, big time!
My husband is a stepfather to three of our children that I had from a previous marriage. He treats them like they are his own flesh and blood. My children do not have to feel tolerated but wanted and loved no matter what. I also do not have the relationship I desire with my mother so because I do not, I act in making sure that I have a better relationship with my children.
I too am loved unconditionally. My husband and children show me every day how much they love me- even on days when I may not be up to par. Why was I holding on to that blockage even now when being loved is no longer an issue. Time has come and gone and I am not that kid anymore.
That child and I are one in the same. I mentally removed her from the past and brought her to the happiness of the now. Love is healing. In our home that child has a safe place to heal and be loved. She doesn’t have to hold on to the past. She is no longer there. We are both in the NOW.
If you are dealing with blockages to living your best life, dig deeper. Many times, something that was said to us at a young age plants a seed that grows as we age from year to year. It can be the reason you have the fears that you do. It can be the reason you are afraid of rejection so you do not even try. It can be the reason you are not able to unconditionally love others.
More and more people are becoming health conscious by the day and they are going green. When it comes to hair products, we know that there are ingredients that will not be the best choice for our hair. Many product lines are beginning to create chemical free products. I have noticed that these seem to be a little pricier than chemical filled products. When you really think about it, healthier options do seem to come in less quantities and at a higher price.
There is one product line that comes to mind and this was during the beginning of my natural hair journey in 2012. I purchased everything on the line and it was expensive for my budget, but I just had to have it. I ran through the products quickly as I didn’t have much in the bottles anyway. It was getting costly. I decided to return to “regular” products. I did this for a few months and decided that I had to research a little more into these products and why (based on research) they were causing so many allergic reactions.
I began to break down each ingredient and in no time, I knew right away why the body would react to contact of these chemicals. Can we ever be completely free from chemicals? Probably not but we can take preventative measures from overloading our systems. Detoxing is great for this if you are looking to rid your body of “crud”.
With any product that you use, be sure to pay attention to how you feel as well as the health of your hair and scalp. Maybe that itching isn’t dandruff…Maybe it is an allergic reaction to whatever product you applied to your hair. Some products have caused hair loss. If you notice early on that your hair appears thin or you see too much hair in your shower or sink, you can toss that product and prevent further damage. Paying attention to signs and symptoms is very important.
When using products with chemicals in them, try your best to wash your hair with the water running backwards down the back of the head. This will prevent the product from touching your eyes. Chemicals in products can cause blurred vision and blindness.
If you are one who has a sensitivity to chemical filled products, there are product lines who can offer a healthier option.
I have a bottle of shampoo and conditioner that is not all natural and I do use it from time to time. So, I am not completely chemical free as I use it for convenience when I do not feel like whipping up my bentonite hair cleanser.
Be very mindful of the products you are using and how they may be effecting you. This can prevent hair loss and other illnesses that can evolve from your reaction to a chemical.
I joined a Facebook group so that I could connect with more women and get out of the friggin’ house. I was invited to meet for coffee followed by an outdoor workout by one of the members of the group and boy was I in for a surprise. I have been walking like an old frail woman for the past two days because I am so sore.
After we met for coffee I followed her to the park across the street to take part in the outdoor workout. We placed our yoga mats in rows on the concrete and shortly after a short introduction we jumped right into the workout.
We did cardio, abs, legs, buttocks and arms exercises. My entire body feels it!
I have not done a long strenuous work out in many years so about five minutes in I was ready to disappear to my car. I must say, if it were not for the men and women surrounding me, I probably would’ve snuck to my car when the trainer wasn’t looking.
I made it through the work out and on my way walking to my car I was high-fived by every person that I passed. They told me how great of a job I did and invited me back for the next Saturday. I really am trying to get in better physical shape so most likely I will give it another go.
After the workout I headed to the Smoothie Bar to get a protein packed smoothie and pretty much relaxed for the rest of the day. Sunday morning was horrible……. I could hardly get out of bed without help. My whole body was sore. I just knew I was going to be out and about, but my body had other plans for me.
I pretty much relaxed all day Sunday and now it is Monday and I am still sore. I visited the Smoothie Bar again this morning to get a protein packed shake to help my body to rebuild and repair. I did not want to be held captive to my bed due to soreness today. I also stretched, and that helped a lot.
I invited my husband to come along next time. I can only imagine how he will handle the after soreness. Ladies you know how our men can get when they are hurting. I better get my hands and oils ready to give endless massages. He will surely be asking for them.
Overall, Camp Gladiator was an awesome experience. It pushed me beyond what I felt were my limits. Everyone was so friendly, inviting and supportive of each other. I think this made the experience a great one overall.
Are you someone who loves to help others? That is me wholeheartedly. If we are not careful, we can find ourselves helping TOO much. How can you help someone too much? By losing yourself in a person who is not trying to take the steps to help themselves.
I always see the best in people. Once I learn someone’s talents, my mind begins to think of all the ways they can utilize that talent to live the life they desire as well as help other people through their gift. I used to be quick to share these thoughts with individuals, but I quickly learned that my bombarding them with my visions did not help at all. Sometimes what we see in others they cannot see in themselves. We are looking at them from the outside and we do not have their thoughts and have not lived their life so what we see is different from what they may see.
I will ask questions to see where the person is at and if the energy/vibe is right, I may say a few things that is on my mind when it comes to their talents. I will ask questions like, “have you every thought about going to the American Idol”? Questions like this have planted fear in individuals who are subconsciously scared to death to come out of their situations. They want change, but change is also scary. It is so scary that they sometimes choose to stay in the situation because they at least know what that feels like – “comfort zone”.
You have those who will take the steps to change their circumstances and unfortunately you have those who will sit back and watch you do all the work and worrying. I do not know if they purposely do this or not and I do not wreck my brain about it anymore, however, the fact is they are sitting back and not putting as much or more work in for themselves as you are for them.
There are many who reach out to me and say they want to do this or that and want to know if I could assist them by guiding them and being a support system. I love, love, love to do this. In doing so I have had experiences where someone would contact me, and we would get the ball rolling but the only person that seems to be making progress towards their goals was me. I found myself searching day in and day out for resources for them. Sending message after message and link after link of information that is in alignment with what it is the person said they wanted to accomplish. Sometimes I send articles. Sometimes these ladies or gentlemen would ask me to explain the article -and this is fine- but they wouldn’t read it themselves.
We are supposed to help each other but we are not supposed to live other people’s lives for them. We are supposed to HELP. If you don’t want to read an article in your niche that is teaching you how to start the business you say you want to start, then that makes me wonder if you really want to achieve your goals after all. See, my life matters too. Whether you have a busy schedule like myself or not, we do not have time on this earth to waste achieving other people’s goals for them. I can’t sing the song for you if you are the one gifted with the voice. There is only so much I can possibly do. They either want it or they do not. We should not have to beg someone to read an article that can better them or attend FREE events that can help them achieve their goals. We should not have to beg someone to get out of bed early to jump on their goals or beg them to take any steps at all.
There comes a time when you must recognize things for what it is and take your hands off the situation. This is not to say that you should be mean in any way to that person or cut them off completely. I am saying that you should be wise in these kinds of situations because if you do not it can consume you-it happened to me a few times.
I do check ins for accountability on those whom I am helping. If I ask someone did they do something, and they always have a reason as to why they could not or did not, this is a big red flag to me. Everyone can find time in their day – even it is just five minutes- to work on something pertaining to their goals. You may need to get up a little earlier or go to bed a little later, but everyone can make time in their day to work towards their goals.
I am a mother of four, a wife, an entrepreneur and my time to work on my business is very limited. I must write my blog posts sometimes with chaos all around me. I have had my days of where my kids have deleted my hard work and have drawn squiggles on my important paperwork. When my husband comes home I must help him in anyway that I can as he has had a very long day. Sometimes I can’t make it to events because I do not have a sitter or must accommodate my husband and kids schedules with appointments, etc. Sometimes I can’t afford to attend things that many people invite me too because I have other obligations, so I can’t be present when they are looking forward to seeing me.
These are just some of the things that take place in my life. I could use them as an excuse not to do something towards my goals, but my passion and drive will not let me do that. I have a very clear vision and most of all I genuinely LOVE what I do. I look forward to getting up everyday and doing what it is I do. I love helping others.
One must pay attention to the signs when you are trying to help someone who will not put in work to help themselves.
So how do I go about backing away from these individuals? I just back away. Point, blank, period. These individuals have never asked me why because the truth is they know exactly why – within. These people still contact me to ask me how I am doing but they have stopped asking for my assistance on their own. Your time is precious. You have the right to treat it as such!
Many consume these very beneficial seeds to support the overall health of the body but did you know that you can make your own hair gel from it?
Who in the world would want to make their own hair gel from something that you can eat? You may find yourself getting the DIY bug after reading this. 🙂 .
More and more people are becoming more health conscious and are doing things differently. Many people are changing their diets as dis-ease is at an all time high. Chemicals that we place in and on our bodies, are throwing our body systems out of whack. Not to mention the medications that we are prescribed once we become unbalanced.
With so many people having the “hurry syndrome” DIY’s may be the farthest thing from your mind. I get it, who has time to consider what every ingredient is on a product. With everything being so fast paced today, many want to grab and go. If your favorite YouTube blogger tells you it works, you believe it may work for you and you purchase it believing in that product. I am not completely free of the use of chemicals. I do have a shampoo and conditioner that consists of chemicals that could be harmful, however, I rarely touch it and find other ways to cleanse my hair as much as possible. If I do not feel like whipping up a natural hair cleanser, then I will use it. Balance is very important here. Our bodies are created to fight off everyday toxins you may run into but are we helping ourselves by overloading our systems with toxins?
I am familiar with many gels as I have styled hair since I was a teenager and it wasn’t until about two years ago that I began to look deeper into the ingredients of products. My favorite hair gel was a dark brown gel and so many swear by this gel due to it’s ability to give a great hold. As I think back over the years that I used the gel on myself, I can remember times when it would burn once I applied it. I never understood why that was so then, but I know now. Many gels contain alcohol. Alcohol burns when it is put on damaged scalp. During the time I would use it, it would be after I had relaxed my hair and I would slick my edges (the main part that burns when receiving a relaxer) with this gel. I would also do updos and ponytails by slicking my hair up on the sides. Do you’ll remember that popular hairdo, snatch back ponytail? This style consisted of a bun in the front and a long ponytail positioned on the crown or mid back of the head. I just knew I was going to turn heads with my fresh snatch back hair do.
My scalp would burn like crazy, but I took one for the beauty team anyway. I was willing to let it burn for the sake of the look.
Alcohol is also very drying to the hair. I always discuss products with the ladies and men that come to me to style their hair. Little things like alcohol being an ingredient can make a big difference in the health of your hair.
You can make your own natural gel using flax seeds. Flax seeds has many benefits for internal and external use. Many use flax seeds in their salads. I love to add it to my smoothies for digestive health.
Flax seeds are one of the riches sources of omega 3 fatty acids and fiber. The omega 3 supports healthy hair growth by strengthening the hair, can prevent alopecia, reduces dandruff and aids in the prevention of baldness for men and women.
If you do not want to use them on your hair you can just eat them!
How to Make Flax seed Gel
You will need,
A small saucepan/pot
2 cups of water
½ cup flaxseeds
Stocking or mesh strainer (anything to strain the finished product)
Essential oil (optional)
Place water and flaxseeds in a pot over medium heat
Bring to a boil (stir occasionally to prevent sticking of the seeds to the pot)
Continue stirring until it reaches an egg yolk consistency (white and frothy)
Turn off heat
Strain into a cup, bowl or container of your choice using stocking or strainer object
Add 3 drops of essential oil of your choosing
Tip- Get creative and add more to your gel to fit your needs. You can alternate essential oils and even add aloe vera.
Natural flax seed gel does not have a long shelf life as it does not contain chemicals/fillers to prolong the shelf life. The average length of time that I have been able to keep this gel is 2 weeks by keeping it in the refrigerator. If there is a sour smell to your flax seed gel, this is a sign to throw it away. Do not use if it stinks or you will be stinky. Hehehe….. No, I don’t know if you will be stinky, but I have smelled old flax seed gel before and it is not nice.
It feels good to know that you are making something natural and healthy for your hair. You know exactly what you have put in it so there are no guessing games as to how this gel can be harmful to your health. Flax seed gel does not dry out your hair. I look at it like hair food.
I love flaxseed and keep some in my pantry. I use it for hair, skin and I consume it often.
I am sitting here typing this as my four-year-old son is sitting at the end of my bed. He has been waking up earlier than usual and early is when I like to meditate because the house is quiet. He has been changing the game on that. When he hears me coming up the hallway or walking down the stairs, he jumps up out of the bed and is ready for breakfast. Here I am nowhere near ready to whip out the pots. It throws me off to jump into my day without meditating first.
My other children sleep in late unless it is a school day. Now I must find a way- that’s life. As a mother sometimes, our plans and routines may have to change for the sake of our children. This within itself can discourage many parents and my mother is a great example of this. My mother wanted to do so many things in life and she had five children. She began to work her butt off to provide and this work was not within her talents. My mother can sew very well, crochet, paint, do hair and she writes. I remember (as a child) my mother going to work, getting home, cooking then locking herself in the room to rest. Boy did I hate it when my mother would close up in that room. I found myself doing that sometimes with my children and had to find balance because I know how I felt when my Mom would close up in the room for hours. I hated talking through a locked closed door to her with a passion.
Now that I am a mom I can understand that me time is needed to get your mind right, but I do not need so much me time that I am not actively involved with my children. Balance is very important!
I am a YouTube blogger, so I try my best to upload a video as often as I can. My children do not be quiet long enough for me to get a recording in sometimes. Sometimes I spend a full day trying to record a good video because I am stopping and doing this and that when my children are around. So, you may say, what about when they are in school? When they are in school I have from 9a-2:30p to do everything that I need to do (kid free). That really isn’t that much time, but it will not be an excuse. I will find the time for sure to do more of what I love to do. It is not a reason to just say forget it. Because I am a mother doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. Just because I am a wife doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. We can get so caught up in these “roles” that we put a halt to what we really desire to do in life.
My mother once said to me that if it were not for her having us (my siblings and I), she would have been on a different path in life, achieving her goals. Maybe her path would have been better-or worse. After this statement I began to look at her like I was a problem because I was born. My huge heart would not let me forgive myself for being born and causing so much hold up in my Mom’s life. How does one live with the regrets of being born? For me, I just disconnected and found a way to co-exist. She may not have intended to hurt my feelings in such a way, but this is a lesson that I am able to apply as I am very careful about what I say to my children.
I am an entrepreneur and I have four children. Yes, it can be difficult because you must provide for your children, spend time, teach and be all those things that a mother is to her child. I get it, I really do. I have had to quit jobs due to no babysitter or not being able to afford it. I was working basically to cover sitter expenses it seemed.
I have had to go weeks without uploading a video because I couldn’t get in hours of quiet time for whatever reason. This may have thrown me off schedule during those times, but I did not give up. I kept going by other means. If I can’t do a video, then I can surely do something else! I have a video on my YouTube channel where I had to completely mute out my background noise because my kids were playing, and I was doing a hair tutorial. I added music and annotations and you basically just watched me style my hair and read the directions. I made a way. There is always a way to keep working towards your vision.
I never wanted to have children, but I did. They are here, and I do not regret them. I looked into my 12-year-old daughter’s eyes last night and told her she is one of the best things that could have ever happened in my life. I told her that her and her siblings mean the world to me. I had my first child at 20. If you are younger than this and have a child, just know that you still have a very bright future ahead of you. I work around my children and/or involve them in what I have going on so that I can keep a close connection to them.
Do my children hold me up from achieving my goals? No. The only person that can hold me up from achieving my goals is me. My children will not be my excuse for giving up on my goals. They are the WHY in why achieving my goals is very important for their well-being. I am breaking generational curses, mental bondage’s and blockages. I am not passing on things to my children and their children and so on that does not serve them if I can help it. My mother has not lived a life doing what she loves. She is still living so she can! I do not want to wait until I am older to start living. I do not want to wait until my children are grown before I am able to enjoy life doing what I love. I am done with the excuses.
My sisters are doing great things as well as my brother. My siblings and I are studying in career fields that help, encourage and/or heal people. We want to be of service to others. We all have children too!
Before I end this posting I want to give you an update, I now have one child at the end of my bed and one lying next to me bumping my arm trying to get my attention and they are arguing about drinking water. My four year old has even “accidentally” kicked my computer as I have it on my lap. So, kids will be kids. Press on anyway! #noexcuse2018
Too many times I see women dealing with damaged hair as they are afraid to cut/trim it because they will lose length. They are willing to deal with the damaged hair for the sake of length. If we are so worried about length, does this not subliminally suggest that we believe it is hard to grow our hair or that short hair is not beautiful? Why do you think many Sista’s hold on to hair that is damaged for dear life?
When I was between the ages of 7-15 I had hair that was shoulder length and this made me feel beautiful. Long slick hair was admired by many in school and it felt good to receive compliments. I have always had long healthy growing nails. They are not long curly nails, but they grow out long, healthy and strong. My mother once cut off my nails as my sister and I got into a sibling fight and she chose to cut my nails because I left a scratch on my sister. That crushed me to the core but oh well, that is the past. So, what was my attachment to the length of my nails? What was my attachment to having longer hair? It made me feel important, worthy and beautiful. Wow! As I am typing this I can tell that I have really come a very long way in how I think about beauty and feeling important.
My hair began to break off around 16 years of age as my mother gave us relaxers every now and then, but she didn’t have the time to do our hair as often as my sisters and I needed due to her strenuous work schedule. My grandmother owned a salon and my mother also did hair in that salon when I was younger. I used to walk around watching the stylists do hair and my grandmother would also teach me different things like how to do waves, a jerry curl, roller sets and updos. I had to take what my grandmother taught me and apply it so that I could keep my hair up as well as my siblings. I asked my auntie if I could use one of her manikin heads and she let me use it and I taught myself how to braid. I then began to braid my mom’s hair, my sisters (sometimes) and myself. I did my own micros for my graduation pictures.
I began to practice hairstyles on my already damaged hair. I loved rocking a ponytail. You know that old style of slicking your hair up with gel into the center of your head and adding some weave with glue or bobby pins to the ponytail. What about those microwave curls? You know, the ones that you roll up and put in the microwave to dry to achieve a roller set look. That was the ish……until I began getting sores from the bobby pins that were digging into the center of my head. Nothing is more aggravating then having a bobby pin in your head that you can’t get to. This caused more breakage in the top of my head. Enough was enough and I decided that I should cut my hair, so I did. I cut off those split ends and ended up with a bob of some sort and would just rock a butterfly clip on it.
I believe that during that time I really let go of the long hair is the only beautiful mindset. Cutting my hair improved my growth until I started slapping in that creamy crack every 6 weeks that weakened it.
So many are transitioning to natural and one common thing that I notice when I ask them why not just big chop is their fear of having short hair. Even if it was just a matter of cutting off 2-3 inches therefor leaving a lot of hair, they still felt uncomfortable about it. They say they do not want to lose their length they have worked so hard to achieve.
So, let’s talk about how we can be our only hold up by being afraid to cut our hair in any way because we do not want to lose length.
Split ends can prolong your hair growth goals. Many do not go and get trimmings because they are afraid that the stylist may cut too much, and/or you are not ready to lose your length. Does the length of your hair define you as a person?
Split ends are at the end of your hair strands and it is a damaged part of the hair strand. If you do not get your trimmings when it is time, split ends can travel up the strand of the hair causing more damage to the entire strand.
I had a blow out done once since I have been natural and when my stylist showed me a picture of the back of my head, my hair was a little past my shoulders. All the hair that past my shoulders needed to be cut because of the split ends. I ended up with a bob like haircut again, BUT my hair began to flourish. I am sure if I would have gotten my trims when it was time instead of prolonging it for years, I may not have had to cut off so much hair.
Do you want a healthy hair journey? If your answer is yes, then do not be afraid to let go of those split/damaged ends. Do not be afraid to cut off the damaged hair. Well, what about those who say their head is too big for short hair (that was me in the beginning too). I would say accept and embrace yourself no matter what. So, what my head looks big! I will soon have a big ole afro to cover this big head.
We need to remove the unhealthy attachment that we have placed on what beauty is. Beauty is not just long hair. It is not just short hair. You are beYOUtiful no matter how you rock your hair! Healthy growing hair is the goal.
It is time to let go of those damaged ends so that you can experience a healthy hair journey.
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I began doing something new this year and that is setting the tone for my day. There were some days when the alarm clock wasn’t set correctly, and I found myself jumping out of bed and right into getting the kids ready for school. Boy was those mornings hectic. I was aggravated, and the kids were getting aggravated with me. Lol!
I notice that on days when I can get up and have some quiet time I am able to take some deep breaths and express how grateful I am for all that is taking place in my life. I express how grateful I am for my family, supporters, my health and whatever else I can think of. Your list does not have to be long so if time is a concern I am sure you can think of at least one thing you are grateful for.
Having an attitude of gratitude first thing in the morning helps me to find more things to be grateful for throughout my day. Instead of looking at my kids in a state of aggravation because I am having to tell them to brush their teeth and get dressed over and over, I can look at them and just smile and say I am grateful that we have the things that we need for them to be able to brush their teeth and get dressed for the day
So, the aggravation becomes less, and the gratefulness kicks in. My shift in energy will rub off on the kids and everything falls right into place therefore it goes much smoother in getting them ready.
Recently my husband accepted a new job, so he must be to work before the kids have to catch the bus. At first, I was in my feelings because I didn’t want to walk to the bus stop everyday to take our youngest daughter. I was taking her to school until now. Little did I know that I would love it. This also helps me to set the tone of my day.
I wake up, take some deep breaths, express all that I am grateful for, get the children ready and walk my youngest daughter to the bus stop. The fresh air and beautiful scenery of the mountains early in the morning is amazing. My neighbors may think I am nuts for scrolling slowly back to the house while looking all around and smiling. I am truly amazed at the beauty of nature. Something that I thought I would hate doing in the morning turned out to be something that I look forward to. It is a great addition to my morning routine.
I challenge you to try it and take note of how your day goes. Was it easy peasy? Did you handle situations better? I know if I go a day without setting my tone I will not deal with things the same. It just seems so much harder. I enjoy being chill, worrying less and reducing the stress!
I am a lover of nature and I have been spending a lot more time appreciating the outdoors and studying the medicinal benefits of plants. I applied to attend the American College of Healthcare Sciences in January of this year and ran into some obstacles there, but I did not give up and guess what, I am now a student there! My focus is Holistic Health Practioner and Herbalism. I look forward to studying herbs on a daily basis. I also incorporate herbs into my daily life.
Before I started college, I was whipping up concoctions for my family and those within my hometown community. I began to make frequent visits to the herbal stores and would pick three or four herbs to study at a time and incorporate them into my daily lifestyle. I have learned so much and have shared this on my Instagram and Facebook.
What is an herb infused oil?
It is the process of infusing herbs in a carrier oil such as coconut oil, jojoba oil or olive oil.
I infuse oils to use on hair and skin. I incorporate my herbal infusions in my whip shea butter or I simply use it alone by applying directly to the scalp, hair and skin.
Some of my favorite herbs to work with for hair and skin care are: lavender, chamomile and hibiscus. I infuse these oils for 4-6 weeks and use them on my family, hair clients and myself.
Lavender is known for keeping the follicles detoxified. It stimulates new hair growth and controls dandruff. It also regenerates the skin.
Chamomile has been used to lighten hair in tea form. It is great for dandruff and irritated scalp. Chamomile can be used for acne and eczema helping to reduce inflammation and prevent scarring.
Hibiscus combats hair loss, strengthens hair, promotes hair growth, treats dry itchy scalp and combats hair loss. It consists of antioxidants. Hibiscus combats aging by lifting and firming the skin. It also evens your skin tone and gives a good moisture boost.
I have eczema and have always used shea butter to help with dryness, itchiness and the fading of scarring. Incorporating herbal infused oils into my shea butter has helped me so much. Eczema is a bit complicated as many things must be looked at when it comes to this skin condition. Gut health is important as well as watching your stress levels.
The shea butter works great for me and I get a lot of great feedback from those who purchased some from me to use on their family’s hair and skin.
Now that I have experienced herbal infused oils, I prefer these oils rather than stand alone carrier oils. I noticed that my eczema does not react well to coconut oil and I don’t remember when I first began noticing how itchy it made me feel but I stopped adding coconut oil to my whipped shea butter. I also had a young lady to tell me that coconut oil irritates her as well.
Because of this I infuse my herbs in a good brand of olive oil. I say a good brand because there are so many to choose from on the shelves and many are really diluted. That is not the one that I want. I know it can be easy on the pockets to purchase a store brand big jug of oil, but I am here to tell you that all olive oils are not created equal. I have been using it for many years and pay close attention to how it works for my family. Pay attention to the thickness of your olive oil. Does it look diluted?
If you want to add an extra boost to your hair and skin care regimen, I would recommend using an herbal infused oil.
The herbs that I work with I have studied extensively and found that they are great for stimulating growth and have healing properties. You can also do hot oil treatments with it or just apply it regularly as you normally would your carrier oils. Carrier oil plus a boost of the medicinal properties of an herb is very beneficial.
To increase blood flow circulation in the scalp, give yourself a good scalp massage in a circular motion once you have applied your choice of oil. Be sure to use the padding of your fingers when doing so to prevent any scratches on the scalp.
Did you know that you could also do herbal tea rinses on your hair? I will cover this in another blog post.
What do you think? Would you give herbal infused oils a try?
Contact me below to request your herbal infusion.
Disclaimer: I am not a doctor and do not claim to be. I do not treat, diagnose, prescribe or claim to cure. I am a lover of nature and use its’ medicinal properties to better my health. All information shared is for informational purposes only. Consult with your physician about any medical needs you may have.
Are you newly natural and binge-watching YouTube slideshow videos of 3-month, 6 months and 1-year length checks? I have been there. I found myself getting so caught up in achieving growth (based off where my favorite youtuber’s hair was) that I began to get on my own nerves. I was length checking after every protective style- every two weeks. Lol!
When you are wanting your hair to grow so bad, you can get to the point of length checking every opportunity you get. It can become discouraging. This takes me to #2.
2. YOU CAN BECOME DISCOURAGED
Why isn’t my hair growing? Why is hers so long at 6 months and mine isn’t? Something must be wrong with me. I must not be using the right products. Let me go and buy the whole line of (fill in the blank). I am just going to return to the relaxer -as you post this in your state of aggravation in a natural hair group on Facebook. Whew! Posting that you are returning to the relaxer in a natural hair group will get you a lot of comments. Lol! I have seen some ladies attack a Sista like a pack of wolves on that type of post. It went something like, “ok”, “do your thing”, “you must want some attention”, “noooobooodddyyyyy cares”.
As you are being so focused on these length checks, you set expectations that if you do not reach in the timing you expect, you become discouraged.
3. YOU MAY BEGIN TO COMPARE YOURSELF TO OTHERS
Why oh why my dear are you doing this to yourself? First it starts with comparing length then it starts with comparing textures and whatever else. I have seen it. I have worked with so many women one on one and they would show me picture after picture of women, their length and texture. They were admiring their hair AND complaining about how terrible theirs is compared to the lady in the picture. As a natural hair blogger and stylist, it is so hard to encourage someone to accept where their hair is at the time and to be patient when they have it already set in their mind that something is wrong or it’s’ just not meant for them to rock their natural crown. We can’t force anyone to love their hair. Rocking their natural hair must ultimately be up to the them.
4. YOU JUST MIGHT STUNT YOUR GROWTH
You read it right. Stress can eventually make its’ way into your life as you worry yourself like crazy over why you are not achieving your desired growth. Stress can cause you to lose your hair. So much for length checks huh? It’s not worth it AT ALL. Not only can you lose your hair stressing, you can put your health at risk. Stress causes so many dis-eases. So here you are stressed, then you end up having stomach issues or aches and pains. Now you must visit a doctor and they prescribe you medications because you got your blood pressure high and high blood pressure pills can cause hair loss. It isn’t worth your health. Stress is a killer. #teamnostresszone. Just breathe………
5. YOU MAY NOT EMBRACE YOUR BEAUTIFUL UNIQUE JOURNEY
Your hair is like no other. You are unique so your journey will not be like anyone else’s. As naturals we may experience some of the same problems like dryness and knots but your hair may not react to the same products that are working great for others. You may have more shrinkage than those you are comparing your hair too. When I let go of the attachment of the idea length based on how long I have been natural, my hair just flourished. I look back over my pictures and I am like wow. I don’t take the time to length check. I just be therefore I can love it every step of the way. Letting go of expectations has been one of the best things I could’ve ever done for my natural hair journey. I just take care of my hair and go on about life.
I went from big chop, to thick afro, to tapered cut (with shaved sides) to semi free form locks. My hair is growing like crazy! Others tell me that my hair has grown so much. I only notice my length as I am popping myself on my neck or in the face because I think something is crawling on me. Lol! Seriously, I have done that one too many times as I must get use to the length of my locks.
If length checking is only going to add to your frustration, DON’T DO IT! It isn’t worth it. Simply embrace your length every step of the way. Before you know it, you will have reached your hair goals minus the stress.😃
This post contains a link that will direct you to another site to purchase. The product available for purchase is created by myself (Naturalista4me) and spouse (Evans Dixon).
Having a victim mindset will not help me to heal and darn sure does not help me to grow. There are those people who learn from their stories and then there are those who are drowning in their stories. Some people cannot find a way to move on from the hurtful things of their past or deal with the hurtful things that may come their way in life.
Once you begin to look at things from a different perspective rather than, my life is terrible, I hate my life, the world is against me and anything within this low vibrational mindset, you can begin to do what is necessary to be happy despite.
With everything that I have experienced in life and am currently experiencing, I am able to look back over my past and see that I had problems then too. I made it through those problems and here I am today, standing tall, healthy and encouraged. In my past I had no idea how I would make it through, so I stressed about every little thing. Guess what?! I made it through. Was stressing worth it? Is putting my health at risk worth it?
It was only until this year that I begin to change my mindset from being a victim. I feel so much better! I used to share my stories (everyone has one) and it would depress me all over again. I used to play the blame game. So, and so hurt me. So, and so is not a good person. So, and so will get what is coming to them. Why would so and so hurt me? Why me? Why do I keep encountering obstacle after obstacle? What did I do to deserve this? So many questions and thoughts would mentally drain me.
I also had friends that would entertain my victim mindset and would sometimes even bring up my story to me if I was being too positive. Once I noticed that I would distance myself from that friend for a while. This may sound like a mean thing to do but I did not want to be constantly reminded of hurtful things.
Now when those friends bring up those things, I have learned to redirect the conversation. This way I do not have to distance myself. I am healed from my past and anything that comes at me now I know how to center myself and learn from it. Each situation brings its’ own set of emotions but I still know how to bring myself back to a state of gratefulness and understanding of what is taking place around me.
I busy myself with things that make me happy. After all, all we really have is the now. If I find myself deep in thought about problems in life, I make myself snap out of it. One day when you are deep in thought about how terrible things are going in your life, observe how your body feels at that moment. How is your energy? What type of energy are you putting out into the universe at that time? Do you think these emotions will make your situation better or worse? If I am consumed in how terrible my life appears to be going, I will look for more things to add to the list of how terrible my life is. I have socks, but it isn’t the socks that I really want. I have food, but it isn’t the food that I really want. I have a car, but it isn’t the car that I want. This way of thinking takes you out of a state of gratefulness.
The old me would stress, sleep, eat and check out mentally. I did not want to be bothered. I ignored phone calls, knocks at the door, emails, texts and avoided going places where I might run into people who may ask me how I am doing. This person that I am today will feel myself getting down, so I immediately start doing something to bring me back to my happy place. This could be putting on some feel good music, dancing around alone or with my husband and kids, reading, writing, calling up a friend, going to the state parks to spend time in nature, going for a drive or whatever is needed to bring my vibration back up.
No one’s life is clear of obstacles. Because this is a fact, the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to learn to be happy anyway. Some people say, “I will be happy when I get rich”. What if I told you that there are rich people who are very unhappy. I recently read a book by Tony Robbins and he mentioned that there was a guy who was a billionaire and when he loss some money (he was still rich) he committed suicide. We shouldn’t wait until we have this or that to be happy.
Many years ago, I did a program called Mind over Money and I learned so much about my relationship with money. When I had a great flow of money I found myself having bad relationships with friends and family. I spoke over myself that I’d rather have just enough to get by so that I can have peace in my relationships. Because of this I began to subconsciously self-sabotage. I would pass up opportunities. I dimmed my light as I didn’t want to shine so bright to offend anyone.
Being that I had this to work on, it was easy for me to get consumed in problems of my past and do the blame game as to why past partnerships didn’t work out. In this, I can only blame myself, right? I created a lot of my past problems because of where my mind was at the time. I attracted a lot of foolery. 😜I allowed people to treat me all types of ways because of how I felt about myself. I allowed people to get over on me because I felt I would be OK (yea right). I can holler I am a victim all day, but I play a role in a lot of my past situations. See, we have more control over our happiness than we think.
Today I can see all of this clearly and it all makes perfect sense. While going through the things I have experienced I put so much fault on others. Some situations were fault of others and unfortunate, but I also played a role in many of my past situations. Being a “victim” made me vulnerable and naive.
Instead of falling victim to my circumstances I now observe what is going on and take a good look at myself and how I play a role in it. I also look for ways for me to help myself. I ask myself, “what can I do now to make this better or to make sure it will not happen again?” Instead of doing the blame game or being consumed in the low vibration emotions, I acknowledge how I feel and look for a way to make it better.
As I look at those who fell out with me over money I must take responsibility for my part in enabling them by always coming to the rescue even when I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t know how to say no. I felt obligated and put myself last for those who didn’t appreciate me. They treated me like I owed it to them. I allowed that treatment by giving in every time something was needed or requested. I allowed them to disrespect me time and time again and I would still give because I felt pressured. I have learned how to say no, or I have other obligations. I have so much more respect now from those individuals. At first, they didn’t like it (of course) but I put my foot down and conquered the situation.
What about those people who have hurt you? They have moved on with their lives. We must find a way to forgive them and ourselves. Quit beating yourself up about what you should’ve, could’ve done. There isn’t anything that can be changed about it so there is no need to allow this heavy weight to carry on with you for the rest of your life. Take the steps to heal.
Some techniques that I use to heal are cord cutting, visualization, meditation, positive affirmations and spending time in nature. I will talk more in depth about these techniques in another blog post.
Take back control of your life. You are not a victim. Get out of the victim mindset as it is an anchor. It keeps you down. Every time you revisit that situation in your mind it can cause you to become angry, stagnant and depressed. Get to a place where when you think about the situation you have a peace within you so that you do not fall victim to your circumstances.
You are not a victim, you are more than a conqueror!
Hi guys my name is Jasmine Barton-Moore author of Sparks Fly. I self-published my own book, but before I explain let me give you a little back ground of myself. I am twenty-six years old at the moment. I found myself lost and wondering what I was going to do in life. I had gotten my degree of Associate of Arts in English. After that I still found myself lost. I told myself you could go back to school and continue your education and get into a lot of debt or you can live out your dream, live for the here and now. Tomorrow is not promised to us. Now I am not saying I will never go back to school, but I was tired of waking up every morning and not living to my fullest potential. I had started my blog post www.jasminebartonmoore.com where I would publish chapters of my book, but that still wasn’t enough for me.
I had surgery December 2016 and I had six weeks off from work, I found myself lying in bed, sleeping all day and doing absolutely nothing with my time. One day I decided to I pull out my laptop and finish Spars Fly. At the time I had no title for the book, but I was driven to accomplish something and be happy about it. Just like that I had finished my book, but I didn’t know where to go from there. So of course I turned to the Internet, I educated myself on self-publishing, building a business and growing my platform.
You’re probably thinking, why not go to school to learn this stuff. Believe me this was no easy journey, it was stressful. I worked a fulltime job, I sat on different boards for church, I squeezed in working out, living the married life, and I took care of my brother. My day would start at 5:30 in the morning and end at midnight every day. The reason I choose not to go to school at the time is because I remember sitting in class and listening to my professor say how he was still paying off his student loans and how so many people have had to go back to college because no one is hiring in the field they went to school for. I didn’t want to be fifty years old and paying back school debt when I could be my own Boss. I do still work a fulltime job, but just like I put in nine hours a day at that job, I come home and put just as much time into my business.
When I was looking for direction I looked to God, but also I had to restore the confidence I lost and believe in myself again. If I was going to fail, at least I knew I gave it my all. The year 2018 I plan on publishing two books and announcing another project I have been working on so be on the look out for that.
If you want to learn more about my journey you can find me on all social media platforms:
I have been on a healing journey as I have made many changes in my life recently. I recently took a leap of faith that I truly believe is what I have manifested while in my healing process. When we are holding on to things, they can become very heavy. Whether that hurt is from our childhood or things that we experience throughout our day, we have to find a way to heal so that we can live a fulfilled life.
As I was browsing my Instagram I came across a lady that captivated me. I scrolled past her picture but found myself searching for her picture again as it was something about it- her energy. I decided to visit her Instagram page to learn more about her and that is when I discovered that she too was on a journey of healing. I guess it is safe to say that I saw my reflection in her and that is why the pull was so strong.
I reached out to her and asked her if she would be willing to share more about her journey and she was happy to do so. I am so grateful for that.
She is known on Instagram as @phoenixrising1993 @victoriasflowerchild
” Hello Queen. What is your name and where are you originally from?”
My name is Vanessa and I am originally from Blue Mountain, Mississippi. I currently reside in Oregon.
“Are you on a journey to healing? Do you mind sharing what you are healing from?”
Yes. I have needed healing for a very long time but it wasn’t until last year when I began to focus on healing myself and to address all the pain I was feeling. The root of most of the pain stems from years of neglect and trauma that I endured during the first 21 years of my life.
“I watched a video on your Instagram of you explaining that you became angry after being used by your fellow classmates as a teenager (the taking advantage of your giving spirit). You stated that as an adult you are able to give freely. How did you heal from not being able to trust people to the person you are today?”
When they took advantage of me, that really hurt my feelings. I became very selfish after that. I started only looking out for myself and only thinking about myself and that is not a peaceful or balanced way to live. I became very protective of my heart, but in doing so I was shutting a lot of people out. I realized that by shutting people out I was missing out on valuable opportunities to connect with others. Because selfishness and fear, I was creating a form of isolation to the spirit. I wanted my spirit to be truly free so I had to remove the hardness from my heart.
I healed because I learned the lessons from those circumstances. I realized that painful memories are mostly unlearned lessons.
When you learn the lesson, you release the pain. When you are no longer in pain, you are healed.
“Absolutely…..You also mentioned that you wrote a letter to your father, how did this help you to heal?”
When my dad Frank passed away I was happy that he was at peace and no longer suffering. His death sparked a lot of emotions and questions in my heart and mind. I asked myself what kind of daughter had I been. I felt guilty for not calling him as much as I could have. I regretted if he would always be around. I know that we all depart from this world…but I was not expecting to lose my father so soon.
Frank is indeed my father, but he is not my biological father. I spent years hating my biological father for his abusive ways. When Frank came into my life he was the only source of fatherly love that I had known. I did not feel that kind of love from my biological father. I wrote to him and I told him everything I felt, and in my heart, I believe he heard me.
All my dad ever wanted from me was for me to know that I was loved.
I realized that if I live my life knowing that I am loved and build a life for myself that reflects all the love I have been given and all the love I must offer–then I will be doing exactly what he wanted me to do. And that is the best way I can honor his memory.
“Condolences to you for your loss.”
“You have beautiful pieces of wrapped stones on your Instagram. When did you begin making wrapped stones? What inspired it? What are the benefits of wrapped stones? How can they help in the healing process?”
I was 19 when I moved to Atlanta, GA. I lived there on and off for about a year. I was homeless for most of the time I was in Atlanta. During that time, I met many kinds of artists when I was on the streets. One artist I met showed me how to make a simple wire wrap and that is when my love for wire wrapping began. When I went through a severe depression I lost all interest in art and everything else I was passionate about but when I began my healing journey I reconnected with the missing pieces of myself.
The part of myself that I had lost was my sense of creativity. I decided that I wanted that part of myself back, so I started wire wrapping again–and I am so thankful that I did.
I have grown and healed so much from making art again. Being in contact with so many different crystal energies has awakened parts of myself that I was unaware of.
I am still growing in awareness and discovering the power of all the beautiful stones I meet. I am a different person now than I was when I started wire wrapping again.
I am happier, more confident and less clouded by other people’s energies. I am less of others and more of myself and I am just getting started.
“In our most troubled times we can learn valuable lessons. Those lessons we can apply and use as we evolve. I have learned many lessons during troubled times. How we deal with those troubled times is what makes the difference in living a fulfilled life or having the mentality of defeat therefor we just exist.”
“If you had a conversation with someone today who is having a hard time trying to figure out their first step in healing and evolving, what would you tell them?”
I would ask them if they are living their dreams and if they are not I would ask them why. If they do not know why, then their first step towards evolving and healing would be to answer that question. If they do know why they are not living their dreams, then their first step would be for them to ask themselves what obstacles are blocking their path.
“Why is healing important?”
Healing is important because we can never rise to be who we were born to be if we are stuck in pain, fear, and toxicity.
“How can one embrace their emotions behind things, release and learn from them?”
You must accept that to heal and move beyond your pain is that you must face it.
You cannot numb yourself and pretend that the pain is not there AND heal at the same time. If you want health, you must let go of the sickness.
It is not an easy process in the beginning, but facing that pain makes you stronger. If you run from yourself, you will never find peace.
“I know all about pretending to be ok. I learned that I had to face those things in order to heal from them. I felt so much lighter after finally facing the things of my past. They no longer have power over me.”
“How can one find balance in the midst of their storms?”
Know that storms exist to teach you about life as well as yourself. Know that storms will pass. Know that the more storms you survive the more resilient you become.
“Your Instagram page attracted me and I spend a good bit of time browsing your wrapped stones. How can one purchase a stone from you? If someone has a stone would you wrap it for them?”
Contact me. Let me know what colors you like. I can send you pictures of stones that I have available to be wrapped. My prices range, and I can work with any budget. I have wraps available for as low as $5. 🙂
If someone mailed me a stone to wrap for them I would happily do so.
“I am going to send you a few of mine for sure!”
“How can someone contact you about wrapped stones? Where can one purchase?”
You can email me email@example.com
You can also contact me on Instagram @phoenixrising1993. Send me a message and I will respond to you as soon as I can.
Thank you Vanessa for sharing your journey with us!
Healing is very important and although it may not be easy to do so, it is worth it.
With all the ups and downs of life, it is easy to become stressed. Stress can be the root cause for many diseases and can also make diseases worsen.
The body responds to stress by releasing stress hormones. These hormones make blood pressure, heart rate, and blood sugar levels go up. Long-term stress can help cause a variety of health problems, including: Mental health disorders, like depression and anxiety.
Just like everyone else, I have experienced many ups and downs in life. I have been depressed and did not know what my next best move would be. I would call my friends and family and pour my little heart out but still felt bad. Because of this, I began to deal with everything alone and became reclusive. We all know that dealing with things alone may not always be a good route to take but I did it. Since talking to others about my problems seemed to get me nowhere, I had to find ways to deal with my stress.
Before I get into how I deal with stress, I would like to share with you how it affected me tremendously. While stressing about things that I could not control, I noticed change (for the worse) in my body. I began to have body aches, decreased appetite, constipation, I felt sluggish, I felt alone (depressed), my eczema on my hands worsened and people began to ask me what happened to them. No matter how much cream I put on my hands or herbal concoctions, I still had the worse eczema flare on my hands.
I also began to experience anxiety. The feeling of your heart racing and shallow breathing is scary all within itself. I felt like any moment (while experiencing those episodes) I would die. I kept how I felt (anxiety) from my husband most of the time because I did not want to worry him.
Stress took a major toll on my body. This person today – who incorporates techniques- still is not completely clear of stressful situations. The only difference is that I know how to nip it in the butt before it gets the best of me. I do not know about you, but I do not have time to let stress take me out. How is my husband going to explain to our children that Mama could not handle life, so she let it get the best of her and her body followed suit? Hell no! I am not going out like that. You may not have children, so you may say, “well I do not have kids that will miss me”. You have someone who loves you whether you know it or not. You will be missed by someone!
Since losing my life to stressful situations is not going to fly, I began to incorporate techniques into my daily life to help me prevent and/or deal with stressful situations.
Meditation is the act of sitting quietly and breathing. It calms the mind and aids you in centering yourself. Meditation is number one on my list because it has changed my life. It has helped me to see things clearer and have a different perspective.
To meditate, find a quiet place – at work, home, in nature, in your car, wherever- and close your eyes. Take some deep breaths and just be. Your mind may feel too busy to just be but the more you meditate, you will notice that your thoughts will no longer overwhelm you.
When I first started meditating I could only sit for five minutes. Now I can sit as long as I desire. Focus on your breathing and just observe all thoughts that come to mind. No need to do anything about them, just observe.
2. Spending Time in Nature
Did you know that nature is the original medicine? Oh….Well, with all the synthetics and chemicals that have saturated our world today, this truth has found itself hidden. There are many who research the medicinal properties of nature (like myself) and we understand how powerful nature is. Did you know that some prescription medications derived from nature? Yep! It sure did. Just taking a walk-in nature is very relaxing and calming. Try it. Turn off your phone or put it on silent and take a nice long walk in nature. See don’t you come out with a “I’m good now” attitude and rightfully so because ALL IS WELL!
I feel so relieved after writing things down and going on about my day. If you do not want to write, then record. Me personally, I get loss in my words when I am recording but if I am writing then it just flows. I dump everything that I am feeling onto the paper and I feel so much better. Things do not seem so bad after all.
4. Attitude of Gratitude
Yes, I said it! You should have an attitude of gratitude because things could always be worse. You may say, how can you tell me things can be worse. I am a woman who was losing everything (home, cars, etc.) silently while still encouraging my friends. I remember one time during a low point in my life one of my friends called me and she was crying and upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she stated that she had no spending money after paying all her bills. Instead of telling her that I was losing everything (due to decrease in income in our home), I encouraged her and told her that at least her bills are paid. I encouraged her to manifest increase rather than being down about her situation. I encouraged her to have an attitude of gratitude. I was crying inside myself about my own situation, but I knew that things could always be worse.
I eventually shared with my friend what all I had been through and all she could do was look at me and say, “I don’t see how you can be so strong and level headed when you are going through”. I looked at that time like a lesson. Obviously, I did not learn enough because I found myself homeless a little over one year later after things began to get better for my family. I learned my lesson then and began to make different decisions with my money, time and lifestyle. My children did not ask me to birth them into this world and I needed to provide a more stable home/living for them. I had to get my s*** together. You can fill in the blank. I know, I know, you may be shaking your head because I cursed but I DO CURSE and curse words get the point across. Did it not catch your attention? Lol!
Look at all the things that you do have and focus less on what you do not have. It works! Thank me later!
5. Spend Time with Supportive People
Why don’t you take your loved ones up on the invite to come over or go out for dinner? If you are anything like me, it can be hard pretending to be happy, so you dodge people. I get it, trust me I do. The reality is, there needs to be balance. If we spend too much alone time, we can find ourselves sinking into deep depression over our stressful situations. Spend time with a POSITIVE loved one to take you mind off things for a few. I reiterate POSITIVE because this is no time to have pity parties. This does nothing for your situation.
I am one who believes that you can manifest your hearts desires. I use many techniques-meditation, vision boards, mindset work, speaking positive affirmations and healing to align myself with the things that I desire.
My husband and I visited Tennessee for my birthday a couple of years ago and we both fell in love with it. My husband loves to sing and even got a chance to sing at BB King’s in Nashville, TN during one of our visits. I love the scenery as I am a nature lover.
The more we visited the more we fell in love and finally decided that Tennessee would someday be our state of residency. There were many questions as we began to look for a home. Where do we start? Who do we have there who could help us with our children etc.? So many questions came across our minds and to be completely honest, it became stressful for me. One thing about relocating somewhere you do not know much about (like my country bumpkin hometown) you do not know what the neighborhood is like, school systems etc. We searched and searched and was at the point of saying maybe now is not the time.
We had also both applied for jobs in the area. This was another challenge as how do you work in another state when you have nowhere to rest your head at night. During this time of aggravation and feeling somewhat hopeless, I had to consistently work on my mindset work. I kept telling myself that the universe supports me and will work out all these details. I meditated every morning to clear my mind and set the tone for my day.
I began to detox my body using herbs so that I can be in better physical health and made my mind up that we were moving somehow. It felt right in my spirit and I decided to now worry myself with the details. We looked and looked from a far.
My husband and I had a long talk and we decided that it was time to jump and not worry about all the details. This was a time of faith. He had jobs that contacted him back and were asking him to come in for an interview. They worked with him because of our distance and waited on us to say when we would be in the area. My husband decided to call one of the employers back and told them we were coming to the area within the next few days. That interview was set and now we just had to find a home (just in case he got the job). In my mind there was no just in case. I believed that the job was his already. He felt it, I believed it and guess what……HE GOT THE JOB ON THE SPOT. So now that was taken care of now we had to buckle down on a residence.
We browsed house after house, apartment after apartment and left message after message. We dealt with all kinds of scammers from craigslist texting us and emailing us requesting “holding monies” and the search went on and on.
I decided that we needed to incorporate some fun into our trip to Tennessee, so we held off on the house hunting for a bit and went out for a night of fun.
After the night was over we got up the next day and began our search again. We ran into a lot of “we need proof of income for the last 30 days” (for my husband). Our problem with that is that we were not living in Tennessee yet and my husband had not started work yet. Showing income from a whole different state definitely wasn’t going to work being he was not transferring. Keeping a positive mindset and attitude- my husband and I kept our search going.
We finally found a home that is perfect for our family and I must say I felt numb during the approval process. I couldn’t believe that it was happening. I couldn’t wait to get home to tell our children that we were relocating. We now had 3 days to get our home packed up and hit the road to move into our new home.
Since we have been here it has been a breath of fresh air. No, I do not have any friends here, but I will meet some. My husband has a job that requires he travel throughout Tennessee, so he will learn the routes quicker than I will. That is OK, he can just chauffeur me, right? He loves driving me around (so he says). I personally think he just thinks he can drive better than me. Either way, I will enjoy the passenger side and enjoy the scenery along my ride.
I have been spending a lot of time in nature and just doing a major detox on my life. I have reevaluated many things in my life and I am at a place where the old ways were just not getting it. You can feel when it is time for change. As I began walking in my purpose- as I continue this journey to self-discovery, I feel whole and so much lighter. As big as my heart is, I easily carry so much weight of what others are going through and too often I would get lost in that. I am blessed to be that comfort for many but if you are anything like me, we must also take time to pour into our own cup. My previous location didn’t have the scenery that I needed. It didn’t have the feel (vibration) that I needed to calm my mind (beautiful nature scenery). My escapes consist of lakes, river, mountains, springs, herbal stores and anything associated with nature. Where I am from my scenery consisted of wooded areas and ponds. I didn’t have much variety. Most of the ponds were private owned so you had to figure out who owned what so that you could just sit by the pond. Now, I have state parks and other locations to just breath in the fresh air as I stare at nature for miles ahead.
Image by me
Image by me
My stress level has gone down. My sleep pattern has changed. My mind is not cluttered. My vision is very clear. In life we must do what we need to do for the sake of our sanity so that we can continue to be healthy while being of service to the betterment of the world.
What is semi free forming? Semi free forming is a way of locking. It is not an organized way of locking and many shy away from the process because of the beginning stages. Although the beginning stages could test the thickness of your skin (due to negative comments), the loc journey is very rewarding within itself. It will test your patience, it can increase your confidence, it can become a spiritual journey.
August 2nd will make two years on my semi free from lock journey. I would have never guessed that I would ever be locked but here I am today rocking this semi free form locs.
Check out this video of me sharing tips in hopes of encouraging you to follow through your unique journey embracing every step of the way.
Yes, you read the title correctly. Your honey does matter! We are not talking about your boo, suga, puddin’ and all those sweet names you call your partner -although they matter too.
Honey is very beneficial for your overall health IF you are using the right kind of honey. With so many different selections in the store isles today, it is easy to purchase the ones that are less beneficial for you and your family.
Why is honey so beneficial?
Raw honey contains disease-preventing and disease-fighting flavonoids. Raw honey contains both propolis and bee pollen so you get the benefits of those two natural powerhouses as well. It has been scientifically proven to help with allergies, diabetes, sleep problems, coughs and wound healing.
Honey is not limited to your biscuits and honey and peanut butter sandwiches. It can be used internally and externally to better your health.
When choosing your honey you must determine if the honey is raw or not. There is a reason for this of course. Raw honey can provide the nutrients and other many benefits that you need that “regular” honey simply can not.
When I was a “newly” honey user, I just purchased honey and did not pay any attention to whether it was raw or not. I should have known that there was a difference because I would see some with the comb and some without. I would also notice some that were lighter than others. What about the honey that I was getting at KFC and Popeye’s to top my biscuits with? Could I just apply that honey to my face and receive the same benefits as raw honey? At the time I had no idea but as I began to research a little deeper into products and natural remedies, I learned that there is a difference.
The saying goes that if we know better we can do better. I tossed the old processed honey and replaced it with a raw honey. I know, I know…..you may not want to “waste money” by tossing your honey but we have to look at the bigger picture. Why don’t you look at it like you are tossing one more thing out of your life that could cost you your health. Throw it away and pat yourself on the back or give yourself a big tight hug for loving yourself enough to throw away something that is not adding to you but more so could contribute to dis-eases.
How do you know which honey is better? Watch this video!
I did yard work yesterday cutting hedges, cutting grass and raking leaves. I was sweating bullets and branches were falling on my head. The funny thing is there was a lawn company cutting grass at a property across the street from my home and they were watching me. Whatever they were thinking, this lady handled it. I am really feeling it today though. Yes, I have a husband and he started the yard before being called into work so I decided that my son and I would finish it. I didn’t wash my hair yesterday so I decided that doing so would be a priority today.
I do not have any store bought shampoo in my home so I am not tempted to run to the store bought products for convenience because I do not have any. I looked at my “natural products shelf” and whipped up a concoction to cleanse and moisturize my hair.
Bentonite Clay is an absolute favorite of mine so of course I had to incorporate into my hair cleanser. I also used aloe vera juice, apple cider vinegar, distilled water and tea tree essential oil.
You may have tried bentonite clay and ended up with lumps in your bottle and maybe even on your hair but there is a way to get it to the consistency where you will not have that problem.
Watch as I share with you how to combine these products and use for a chemical free cleansing and moisturizing:
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June 24, 2017 I attended a yoni power hour in Savannah, GA. For starters let’s talk about what a Yoni is. I did a poll on my Facebook page asking people on my friends list whether or not they knew what a yoni was. To my surprise, many had no idea.
A yoni is the vulva, especially as a symbol of divine procreative energy conventionally represented by a circular stone.
Are you shocked? Well, if you are count to 10 because we are about to talk about that “private area” for just a moment. More and more women are gravitating towards these type of events and researching because they are looking for a natural way to care for their yoni. Many women suffer from different dis-eases and have sought medical attention. Many women have also had a hysterectomy due to many complications.
Yoni events address these issues and how we as women find ourselves dealing with these complications. Yoni eggs, yoni steaming herbs, yoni detoxes, natural pads and so much more are discussed as well.
I really enjoyed meeting women from all walks of life who have an interest in many of the things that I am interested in. Natural products, herbs, sister bonding, networking, sensual movements and so much more are available and experienced at these events. The ladies are always willing to educate you on living a healthier lifestyle.
I attended the Rose Quarts Yoni Egg Retreat in April and that was an experience for me. It was fun, emotional and so needed at that very moment in my life.
I took a friend with me and I call her my pisces sister because we are both pisces. This was her first experience at a yoni event. She had an awesome time.
Another one of my followers also showed up. I was like whooooohooooo……I love love love to see women taking control of their health. I also love to see women coming together and there isn’t anything but love in the building. The energy/vibe is everything.
In a time where envy has become so major among women, you do not feel this in any way at these events. You can be open, silly, ask questions without being embarrassed and you feel welcomed by people you don’t even know. I love it! If only we could get that vibe among women outside of the yoni events.
Can you imagine how much easier it would be to accomplish something as women if we supported each other?
I created a little slideshow of the yoni party with the images that were taken from the other attendees. My phone was dying, bummer, and I broke my new camera that I got for my birthday on March 2nd at the Vidalia Onion Festival fair. Another bummer . 😒
Oh well, I can’t cry over spilled milk so I did what I could do so that I could share it with everyone else!
March 2nd was my birthday and with so much going on in my life, I needed a much needed getaway. I wanted to do something different.
Over the past few months I have been getting out of my own way to expand in different areas of my life. Sometimes our fears can limit us from walking in our purpose. I ask myself where do these fears come from? Are they my own or have I taken on the fears of others that are dear to me?
I was terrified of flying so for my birthday I wanted to face this fear. I decided to take a trip to Miami, Florida to celebrate and although I could have driven, I decided to cut the time short by facing my fear of flying. What an experience! I sat next to some wonderful people on the plane and ended up gulping down a gin and cranberry juice to calm my nerves.
Before I left for my trip my mother conversed with me about the chaos of the airport itself and this didn’t help me at all. I went there prepared for the absolute worse. I expected people to be running over me as I tried to navigate my way through to find my gate. My mother told me at the security checkpoint, people would be impatient with me if I took too long putting back on my shoes and packing my items (as I had a laptop with me.) Surprisingly, I didn’t experience any of that. She unfortunately had experienced it herself during one of her flights.
I appreciate her preparing me for the worse as I was looking forward to the absolute worse and nothing happened. This allowed me to relax a little bit. My mother was the first person to call me after I landed in Florida. She was so excited and wanted to to know about my experience at the airport and the flight itself.
I enjoyed my time on the beach, store hopping, eating and drinking alcoholic beverages mid-day into the night. Hey what can I say? It was my birthday after all. I indulged in a variety of cuisines from Mexican, Italian to Cuban and a variety of desserts.
I enjoyed a relaxing massage from the Bodies Kneaded Massage Spa. I also received the deep facial cleansing services and it hurt like hell! Omg! I got the blackhead extraction services and tears were rolling down my face. It was worth it because my face looked great afterwards. It was sore for a couple of days but I had a glow to me.
My favorite part of the trip was my visit to the Kampong, a botanical garden. I am a nature lover and it is a must that I spend time in nature for healing of my mind, body and soul.
Sometimes you just have to take some time for yourself to get your mind right! I left my hometown full of aggravation and returned renewed and ready to take on whatever.
My name is Yishay Joy and I live in Charlotte, NC.I returned to natural for my oldest daughter Madison. She was two at the time and would ask me, “Mommy why isn’t your hair fluffy like mines? ”
My family and especially my husband supported my decision. He told me every day how beautiful I looked. Now getting locs, I did not have my mother or siblings support.
I really did not care whether I had support or not, I had already been natural for six years before getting locs so any smart remarks about my loc journey did not bother me. Eventually as my locs grew everyone began to love them.
I transitioned for ten months then did the big chop myself. One day I was trying to comb out mostly natural and relaxed hair and just decided today is the day and I cut off all the relaxed hair. It was scary and exciting at the same time. When I walked out of the bathroom my daughter started jumping up and down screaming “mommy’s hair is fluffy like mines!”
After four years of being natural, I started wearing two strand twists a lot. I like the look and the freedom. I watched thousands of YouTube videos on locs and low-key wanted them after having another baby girl and only having time for a puff. I went to get my hair two strand twisted but this time without any hair added. During that time I decided to never take them out and my loc journey began. July 25 will make seven years.
I moisturize my hair with spray water and/or leave-in conditioner then add oil each night. I shampoo with black soap diluted with water every two weeks. I retwist by palm rolling every three to four months. I use homemade flaxseed and coconut oil to retwist. In between retwist after washing, I usually braid, twist or pipe cleaner my locs. These styles keep my roots neat and help hide fuzzy roots.
I do not believe natural hair is a fad, well at least not for me.
My twin sister inspired me to return to natural and Chescalocs on YouTube inspired me to loc my hair. If I could inspire someone to embrace their natural hair, I would tell them that returning natural is the best thing I ever did for myself. Transitioning is hard but if I had to do it over again I would skip that part and go right to the big chop.
That hard hair you see in the beginning is not your natural texture. It takes months, for me years, to see my pure natural hair.
Withgetting locs, the hard part was weeding through all the crazy things people say like don’t wash your hair in the beginning or parting is so important.
I chose two strand twist over sisterlocks because I did not want to have to always go to the salon. I learned patience with going natural so getting locs was easy. I got really creative and flat twists was my favorite style in the earlier months. Over time it got easier as more of my locs formed and got longer and longer.
Countless times people ask me what they can do to improve their self esteem and start to really like what they see in the mirror. While this is a journey that doesn’t go away overnight there are many small things you can do to start to see an immediate change to your mental space surrounding yourself. Some of the tips will sound super small but I promise there is a method to the madness.If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.
1. BUY CLOTHES THAT LOOK GOOD ON YOU!
This may not seem like a lot, but this goes a really long way. Over the years I am sure we have fluctuated in weight. If you haven’t kuddos to you, but this tip is for those of us who have gained or loss significant weight over time. Having clothes that fit properly and flatter our bodies makes a huge difference. Squeezing our new body into our old size two clothes does nothing but remind of us the weight we have gained and makes our bodies look so bad. We most likely won’t get back to the bodies from high school or before the baby so stop beating yourself up and restock your closet with clothing that makes you look and fee great! Even if you can’t afford to completely redo your closet buy a nice dress or single outft that flatters your figure and watch how amazing you feel. Hello selfies.
2. TREAT YOURSELF TO A SELF CARE DAY
Now I know this one can be kinda hard when you have a demanding job or kids and a family however it is important that you do this. Even if you can’t take an entire day, taking a few hours can still make a drastic difference in the way you feel. You deserve time uninterruped for you to center your space and reflect on how you are feeling. You can go to lunch alone or with friends, get a mani pedi or you can stay in bed and binge watch 4 seasons of your favorite show. Whatever you do it has to be time that you have set aside for you to relax and do whatever you want. We all have busy life but just as we are obligated to go to work and take care of our families and friends we need to also process the obligation we have to ourselves. We can’t be our best selves when we are tired, rundown and checked out. So even if you can’t do this for yourself yet, do it for the people who love you so they can experience a you that is clear of stress.
Journaling is so very important. Its the time you get to be completely transparent and reflective about how you are feeling about everything. Work, relationships, finances and everything in between. This neccesary activity will bring to you to a state of awareness, because when you aren’t aware you will feel all the weight of your problems and not know where it is coming from. Meeting your mind where it is before it gets too far away from you will help you in the long run and save you a lot of time being overly frustrated and agitated. Practice journaling at least once a day reflecting on anything and free flowing. Writing the first things that come to mind. Release that stuff, honey!
4. CUT OFF PEOPLE WHO DON’T BRING YOU PEACE
This tip is where most people struggle. While it can be the hardest, it is one of the most important. Cutting toxic people out of your life is unavoidable. The longer you hold onto them the more damage you are doing to your well-being. There are so many types of toxic people; the abusive ones, the one energy suckers, the jealous ones and the debbie downers. Simply put— cut out the people who aren’t aiding in your personal growth. A postive relationship should encourage you, uplift you and love you unconditionally. While that doesn’t mean they don’t tell you when you shit don’t stink because those friends are still greatly needed. However there is people helping you with love and some who just want to hurt you and break you down. Learn the difference. Surround yourself with friends who celebrate
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the small things with you, friends who support your ventures and genuinely love you for everything that you are. Life is too short to not have a million reasons to smile. Smile on!
5. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF
Have you ever noticed when you see a child hurt or crying our immediate instinct is to make the child feel better. We tell them how awesome they are and hug. We kiss them for extra measure to makes sure they are genuinely okay, but when it comes to us we do the opposite. When we are hurting or crying we make ourselves feel worse for feeling. We don’t console ourselves instead we scold. This where we go wrong. We are in need of care and compassion just as the small child and we need to remind ourselves it’s okay to feel. Be gentle with your being and your feelings, be patient and show the love you show others to yourself. Identify your emotions, assess the issue, console yourself and give yourself time to calm down. We are all human and sometimes shit hurts. Cry it out!
Now the journey of self love and self esteem doesn’t end with this list, but I am hoping that this sends you in the right direction.
Do all things with love.
Whitley’s brand provides resources, words of encouragement, but most importantly it helps YOU identify the power within yourself to create the life you dreamed.
My name is Meryska, I also go by Memi. I was born on the west coast, grew up in the Midwest, and now live in the South. Returning natural was a necessity! I was a college student and I couldn’t afford the upkeep of a perm. I literally just stopped getting perms and started washing and conditioning my own hair. That’s probably the only thing that I did properly at that time! HA!
I went natural in 2007- so well before the natural hair movement that has recently swept through the nation. I had support from everyone. I have never felt a lack of support, but omg, I got so many questions, especially from coworkers lol. It seemed there was more curiosity than anything.
The place I worked and lived lacked diversity. There was always a challenge with support in regards to my ethnic background and culture. However, the best way for me to combat that was by making sure I visually saw others on their journeys. I would be sure to include them in my IG feed. I would also watch multiple videos and look for other naturals around me to relate to and bounce information off of. This helped me to not feel so alone and more comfortable on my journey.
I did not big chop, I am a transitioner, whoop whoop! Some of my favorite products would include Carol Daughters Leave- In Sprays (all), Shea Moisture products for low porosity hair, Cream of Nature products and Cantu Products. Oh! How can I forget about my beloved Ogx oil sprays as well as Ebin New York for my edges.
I am now seven months loc’d. I routinely spray my hair with rose water mixed with filtered water, or just filtered water and then apply an oil blend. Since joining loc’d naturals my regimen is very simple. I wash with African Black Soap once a week, sometimes once every two weeks. I then apply a leave in cream of choice and apply oil blend over it. Every morning I spritz to moisturize and I go about my business.
For me, natural hair is not a fad. For some, I think there is a focus on staying current rather than finding out how to be true to yourself, which is what I feel the natural hair journey teaches us all about.
There are many bloggers who inspire me. For sure Naturalista4me is my main inspiration when it comes to semi free forming! I have watched all of the Naturalista4me YouTube videos and look at the IG posts religiously! LOL. My loose natural inspirations are: mahogany curls, glam twinz, naturally niecey, curly proverbs, power in your curl, naptural85. My loc’d inspirations are: pretty hippie, natural nirvana, Keisha Charmaine, spiritedxkulture and essence of shay.
If I could inspire someone to embrace their natural hair, I would say to just imagine how it would feel to not put excessive effort into presenting your hair to the world, but rather to just enhance what you already have and let the world accept you as you are. It will be the most liberating experience ever!