I would have never thought that someday I would be rocking locks. I was addicted to the creamy crack and loved to add extensions for length. I had to always make sure that my hair was “laid”. I felt confident with long flowy hair.
When I was transitioning I decided to start sharing my journey but I could not work up the nerve to actually publish my first video so I waited a little while; ok who am I fooling, a long while. I wasn’t ready to hear any negative feedback from my family or complete strangers for that matter. I was trying to get use to it myself.
Once my afro got a little bigger after the big chop, I began to publish videos on YouTube. I also created a FB page in which I contemplated closing everyday during the beginning of my blogger journey. I was like, who cares about my kinky 4c hair. Well….I kept it open!
I was shaking in my pants, literally. I did it! I accomplished the first step in 2013 and shared my kinks with the world. I became a natural hair video blogger, Naturalista4me.
I thought that was a hard step but little did I know that I would come to another step in my journey where I would be back in the emotions of fearing feedback on my hair posts. Not only did I decide to lock, I decided to free form. I call it semi free form because I separate my locks or what some may call “popping”. Once I began the journey I found a sense of peace. I began to learn more about myself. I shared my journey from beginning until now and will continue to do so to inspire other naturalista’s to embrace their kinks. I love my hair!
Beginning of lock journey Aug. 2015 with comb twists
My locks are sitting on an afro. Who would’ve ever thought that I would choose this lock style, being I always preferred my hair to be so neatly in place. I guess I can say that I transitioned again and eventually began to go with the flow of what makes me happy. When I would retwist in the beginning they would lie flat and I felt “held down” in a sense. I felt like I had to be in order because my hair was in order. It was neatly parted and I felt as though it was extremely thin, although it wasn’t. I didn’t like how I could just touch my scalp and feel such neat parting. It felt to organized.
I do not like to feel limited. I have the mindset that I can do all things that I put my mind to. My mind is always going, as I am a woman and that is what we do right? I use to live within my own limitations (due to past mindset) as well as others limitations for me. I always felt held down as gravity is in full effect but people can pull you down to if you allow them too.
My grandmother told me that she doesn’t understand what I am trying to do and this style just isn’t me. She asked me if I was ok (in the head). She wanted to know if I needed to talk to someone because I must have lost my mind. She said this isn’t who I am. I love my grandmother so much and I understand that everyone will not understand why you choose to wear your hair the way that you do. We really shouldn’t expect them too. Remove expectations of others and love yourself no matter what. She is right about one thing. I did lose my mind, my old mind. I have a new mindset.
Some days my hair seems as though it is poking straight out like I have stuck my hands into a socket and the funny thing about that is I feel within so full of energy. It is reflective of how I am actually feeling. If you just so happen to come across me and my hair is on the flatter side then you may want to give me a hug and tell me that everything will be alright. You may even need to counsel me a little bit. Ok. All jokes aside, my hair reflects how I feel. At first I chopped it up to my hair is going through a process and it sticking out is a major part of it but I really do see my energy reflected.
Inner-G : The Permanent State of mind where nothing is impossible…..where oneself relies on instinct to handle anything in life. To achieve the inner “G” one must remove all doubt, all fear, all worries from the mind, well as push themselves to their limits and go beyond it and believe that if they want something they go for it.
When they become longer and heavier I know they will lie down but they will be stronger and longer and I want that strength and growth to be reflected in my life. I am growing.
My locks reflect my Inner-G.