by Sabrina Sainthilaire- Lady In The Wilderness
I know it has been a while since I have blogged, which needless to say means that I am entirely stressed out! Besides prayer, writing is all I have to truly get out how I feel. Sometimes I think to rename my site( http://roseladywilderness.blogspot.com/) the Weaver because I have been told that I take life issues, complicated, and un-complicate them by weaving them together into a beautiful piece of art. Thus, I throw my issues out to the world, then bring myself understanding by staring them in the face and merging them into a semi-funny, lovingly hearty, and desirable read!
Stressor I: I have been wanting to provide a better life for my children for as long as I can remember. Now, more than ever since I am there sole parent. I have dedicated two years (in March) to finding a career path that will provide daytime hours, solid benefits, and salary pay. A field that vacation can be procured and sick leave is encouraged at the pull of a tissue! In these years I have written, re-written, and completely over-written my resume. I have a federal resume, short resume, IT resume, Law enforcement resume, educator resume….in all formats such as functional, chronological, and plain comical….funny….okay, not funny. Guess what guys, believe it or not, I GOT ‘THE’ JOB!!! How, only God! The day I got the job was so horrible that I didn’t even notice I had the job. I received an email the same afternoon from the lady I interviewed with, but left so discouraged that I didn’t check my email. I received a call the following morning stating that they needed me to sign and send back over paperwork…it still didn’t register that I had got the job! It wasn’t until late afternoon when they sent over the direct deposit paperwork along with the dates of training that I realized that “I GOT THE JOB!!!!” YES!
The blessing in it all, it took two years for God to Bless me with this job. I wonder if all that I have endured was only to teach me how to be humble. I have been to the lowest point of having no food, taking donations from every place that would offer, applying for assistance in just about every government program, not having gas to get my children to or from school, sacrificing everything that I was accustomed to so that I could give my children a better life, and lying awake at night praying and crying well into the day for the Lord to bring me relief…any relief.
In this time… I learned that no matter how tall I stand in life to not forget the bottom that God has brought me from, to keep him at the head of all things in my life, and to rely on him to continue to provide as he did when I had nothing.
Stressor II: Homework! My children’s homework is so tough! I have a son in kindergarten and a daughter in the 1st grade. I could only imagine what I should suspect when I have middle and high-school students! This homework that my children come home with takes hours to complete. I have structured my schedule to one child per day. My daughters homework days are Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. My son’s homework days are now Tuesday and Thursday. This gives me two days of uninterrupted time with the 1st grader and one day of uninterrupted time with the kindergartner. My son (the kindergartner) can complete most of his weeks homework in a day, therefore, it is easy to concentrate all of his work into that one day, Praise God. My daughter, however, she needs the three days. Homework is due on Friday so that day is out of the question.
The blessing in this…I love the one-on-one learning time that I get to spend with them. It makes learning even more fun, I have more energy, and I feel that they understand the material better. What is the other child doing while the one child is working? Reading of course! So this plan also gives both children the ability to spend more time behind a book! Good books too! I thank God!
Stressor III: Gym stress! I have been really on a strict workout schedule at the gym, working-out 5 times a week for the past two weeks. I actually haven’t been this week but two days so I must dedicate myself to going tomorrow (Friday). Which brings me to my next stressor…
Blessing in this case, I lost 10lbs!!!
Stressor IV: The school dance…the SCHOOL DANCE! My children have a dance to go to at school on Friday evening. Of course I am a volunteer parent monitor and I must have my children stick by my side! However, they seem to be disinterested in me even being there, let alone sticking by my side. So I think I may have a nervous breakdown in front of their friends because my children are no longer babies…NO LONGER BABIES!! It Is well…
The blessing in this, they get to have fun that won’t cost me a dime!
Stressor V: Men, but not too much because I don’t have one, lol! However, I don’t think a man could possibly keep me away from blogging. My ideal man would encourage my blogging so I don’t act coo coo, lol! The stress that I have in the area of men on this time dwells in the approaching, emphasized, day for love. So I give myself the benefit of the doubt. At least I am not stuck with a man that I don’t need or have settled for due to my lack of patience. I will continue to pray that God supplies my needs in this area.
The blessing in this, When he finds me God will have already prepared him and I will appreciate him so much more because I know he is “FOR” me. The wait for him is sooooooo worth it! Amen
Sabrina secured a bachelors degree under the pressures of military life, full time parenting of two, and the stressors of everyday life. She graduated summa cum laude with a GPA of 3.97. She hopes to succeed beyond all peers through the creativeness learned in her studies of criminal justice and encourage proactive rather than a reactive form of applying it. She is passionate about the successful rehabilitation of offenders, yet she is fully knowledgeable and skilled towards computers, radios, satellites and anything that maintains or transmits a signal. These skills she learned as a Signal Support Systems Specialist (25U) in the United States Army. She wants to lead by example so that her children can reach their fullest potential. She thanks God for all of her successes!