I am sitting here typing this as my four-year-old son is sitting at the end of my bed. He has been waking up earlier than usual and early is when I like to meditate because the house is quiet. He has been changing the game on that. When he hears me coming up the hallway or walking down the stairs, he jumps up out of the bed and is ready for breakfast. Here I am nowhere near ready to whip out the pots. It throws me off to jump into my day without meditating first.
My other children sleep in late unless it is a school day. Now I must find a way- that’s life. As a mother sometimes, our plans and routines may have to change for the sake of our children. This within itself can discourage many parents and my mother is a great example of this. My mother wanted to do so many things in life and she had five children. She began to work her butt off to provide and this work was not within her talents. My mother can sew very well, crochet, paint, do hair and she writes. I remember (as a child) my mother going to work, getting home, cooking then locking herself in the room to rest. Boy did I hate it when my mother would close up in that room. I found myself doing that sometimes with my children and had to find balance because I know how I felt when my Mom would close up in the room for hours. I hated talking through a locked closed door to her with a passion.
Now that I am a mom I can understand that me time is needed to get your mind right, but I do not need so much me time that I am not actively involved with my children. Balance is very important!
I am a YouTube blogger, so I try my best to upload a video as often as I can. My children do not be quiet long enough for me to get a recording in sometimes. Sometimes I spend a full day trying to record a good video because I am stopping and doing this and that when my children are around. So, you may say, what about when they are in school? When they are in school I have from 9a-2:30p to do everything that I need to do (kid free). That really isn’t that much time, but it will not be an excuse. I will find the time for sure to do more of what I love to do. It is not a reason to just say forget it. Because I am a mother doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. Just because I am a wife doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. We can get so caught up in these “roles” that we put a halt to what we really desire to do in life.
My mother once said to me that if it were not for her having us (my siblings and I), she would have been on a different path in life, achieving her goals. Maybe her path would have been better-or worse. After this statement I began to look at her like I was a problem because I was born. My huge heart would not let me forgive myself for being born and causing so much hold up in my Mom’s life. How does one live with the regrets of being born? For me, I just disconnected and found a way to co-exist. She may not have intended to hurt my feelings in such a way, but this is a lesson that I am able to apply as I am very careful about what I say to my children.
I am an entrepreneur and I have four children. Yes, it can be difficult because you must provide for your children, spend time, teach and be all those things that a mother is to her child. I get it, I really do. I have had to quit jobs due to no babysitter or not being able to afford it. I was working basically to cover sitter expenses it seemed.
I have had to go weeks without uploading a video because I couldn’t get in hours of quiet time for whatever reason. This may have thrown me off schedule during those times, but I did not give up. I kept going by other means. If I can’t do a video, then I can surely do something else! I have a video on my YouTube channel where I had to completely mute out my background noise because my kids were playing, and I was doing a hair tutorial. I added music and annotations and you basically just watched me style my hair and read the directions. I made a way. There is always a way to keep working towards your vision.
I never wanted to have children, but I did. They are here, and I do not regret them. I looked into my 12-year-old daughter’s eyes last night and told her she is one of the best things that could have ever happened in my life. I told her that her and her siblings mean the world to me. I had my first child at 20. If you are younger than this and have a child, just know that you still have a very bright future ahead of you. I work around my children and/or involve them in what I have going on so that I can keep a close connection to them.
Do my children hold me up from achieving my goals? No. The only person that can hold me up from achieving my goals is me. My children will not be my excuse for giving up on my goals. They are the WHY in why achieving my goals is very important for their well-being. I am breaking generational curses, mental bondage’s and blockages. I am not passing on things to my children and their children and so on that does not serve them if I can help it. My mother has not lived a life doing what she loves. She is still living so she can! I do not want to wait until I am older to start living. I do not want to wait until my children are grown before I am able to enjoy life doing what I love. I am done with the excuses.
My sisters are doing great things as well as my brother. My siblings and I are studying in career fields that help, encourage and/or heal people. We want to be of service to others. We all have children too!
Before I end this posting I want to give you an update, I now have one child at the end of my bed and one lying next to me bumping my arm trying to get my attention and they are arguing about drinking water. My four year old has even “accidentally” kicked my computer as I have it on my lap. So, kids will be kids. Press on anyway! #noexcuse2018