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Inspiration

How to Choose the Best Jamaican Black Castor Oil

How to Choose the Best Jamaican Black Castor Oil

There are many Jamaican black castor oils on the market, so it can become overwhelming to know which one to purchase. What is the difference anyway? Are they created equal? I am here to help you make the best decision.

As with all products there are ingredients. I have learned that the longer the ingredient list, the more complex and diluted the product usually is. I tend to lean more towards limited ingredient products. When it comes to oils this standard also applies because I do not want to use diluted products if I can help it.

Take a moment one day while you are in the grocery store and look at the olive oils and coconut oils. You will notice there are different brands. You may also see terminology such as refined and unrefined. Is there a difference in these terms? Absolutely.

Organic Turmeric Curcumin

There are products that are diluted and/or stripped of most of it’s nutrients, for example, Shea butter to turn it from yellow to white. I want my products as natural and closest to it’s purest form as possible so that I can get the most benefit from them. Products that are in their purest form, for example, raw Jamaican black castor oil, will have a strong scent. A little goes a very long way. When using diluted products, I notice that I use them quickly.

Organic products may cost a bit more than non-organic, but I am here to tell you that it is worth the investment. We spend a lot of moolah using diluted products because they run out so quickly. On top of that, we are not getting the nutrients we could get if the product was not diluted or stripped of it’s nutrients.


Garden of Life Organic Extra Virgin Coconut Oil – Unrefined Cold Pressed Coconut Oil for Hair, Skin and Cooking, 14 Ounce

When choosing an olive oil from the grocery department, I look for a rich, thick and darker in color oil. When I am choosing coconut oil, I use organic or unrefined. Unrefined means it has not been stripped of most of its nutrients. I apply the same standards when choosing other oils.

Jamaican black castor oil is a powerful oil that is beneficial for fighting scalp fungus, improves hair growth, fades scars and soothes skin. I have tried many castor oils and I can honestly say they are not created equal. Some of the castor oils I purchased were a blend of oils and was diluted. I came across a company by the name of Rooted Treasure and I fell in love with their castor oil. The ingredients are plain and simple, one word. This oil is not in stores and must be purchased online.

http://www.rootedtreasure.com/

This oil is rich, thick like maple syrup and dark brown. The scent is nutty. This nutty smell is missing in many diluted oil blends so that is the first indicator that you have a diluted, stripped of its nutrients, castor oil.

To get the most benefit from your castor oil, you want to make sure it is as close to it’s purest form as possible to achieve better results. Invest in a product that is created to help you and give you the most nutrients possible!

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I Pushed Through My Anxiety and Attended My First Black Professionals Mixer

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Since relocating to Tennessee, I joined some groups so that I can get out of the house and connect with more like minded people. I have also been connecting with ladies while out and about grocery shopping and such. One thing that I must work on consistently is following through by showing up somewhere (when invited) where there will be a crowd. I deal with anxiety when contemplating attending events. I had to look deep within myself to see what this is about.

I learned that it is a confidence issue. I believed that what I had to say was not as important as what the next person may have to say. As much as I study and implement, I still would feel like maybe I need to learn more so that I can feel comfortable with talking with others about what I do. I did not want to come off as a know it all who really doesn’t know everything.

We are all forever learning so I should not have let that be a reason to shut me up when I needed to speak up and be confident in doing so. To others I was Naturalista4me the blogger but to me I was just Qwania. Many seen in me what I couldn’t see in myself.

This was a major part of my self-seeking journey. I had to learn about myself (the good and bad) and how and why I processed the way I did. Once I was able to narrow that down, I was able to deal with it therefor it can no longer hold me up unless I allow it to.

I met this lady at the store and she looked at me and said that I have beautiful energy and wanted to introduce herself. We talked, hugged and exchanged numbers. She invited me to attend a black professional’s mixer with her and her friends and at first, I began to look for every reason not to go. My husband said, “woman you need to go”. Ok, so I went! I had a wonderful time and made great connections.

I put on my vision board a few years ago that I wanted to attract a new social circle that supports where I am in life as well as support me as I am growing. I wanted to attract friends who are also seeking to start or already have their own businesses so that we can discuss business. I wanted to attract friends who were in relationships so that my husband and I can have couple outings with friends. I wanted to attract friends that have children, so they can play with my children therefor our children will create new friendships.

I learned that the ladies I was with are starting or have already started their own businesses, I learned that they have children, partners and are looking for the same things I am looking for in their social circle. I have manifested this into my reality.

If I had not gone to the mixer, I would not have met these ladies. I had to get over my anxiety to push through and my husband helps me with that a lot. He knows how to talk to me to help me get over myself. I am getting into the habit of pushing through my feelings of discomfort as I believe on the other side of comfort lies the desires of my heart.

I didn’t feel overwhelmed with all the people in the room and I also felt confident. I shared what I do as well as listened to everyone else. I told myself before going that I would just keep quiet but I realized that was that confidence issue kicking in. Why would I be quiet if I am going to network? That doesn’t make any sense. Why would I not share what I am passionate about in person as I have no problem doing it through my computer and cell phone. That doesn’t make any sense either.

What I have to say does make a difference and the more I open up and speak, the more I find myself helping someone who has been waiting on an answer to their questions.

The ladies were all so welcoming of me. We are already planning to get together again soon.

I understand that in order to manifest the life I desire, I must get over myself. In order for me to do that I had to first learn and understand the roots of my behavior and thought patterns. I have learned that I do have a choice. I can choose to stay within the vibration that no longer serves me (old ways and patterns) or I can choose a new way of doing things. I’ll take that for 100 please! Lol!.

On this self self-seeking journey I have found inner peace. I have the power to change my life and overcome any mental or health illness, doubt, fears, etc. that may try to come to the forefront. . I can overcome any challenges that come my way!

 

Healing My Way to the Top

Healing My Way to the Top (2)

Enough is enough ladies. Do you agree? Do you know who you are? This is not a question for you to think about who others percieve you as, this is a question for you to really think about. Do you really know who you are? I had to peel back many layers and figure this out. It was not done over night. I work on myself EVERYDAY. I have cried too many nights. I have wasted too much time hurting. I have been off track for too long. I have been a disservice to myself and those whom I was sent to this earth to help. I had to do something for the sake of my sanity and happiness. And so it began……

To many of us are pushing things to the back burner that do not need to be pushed back. Many feel that if they could just not think about it then it will go away. I am one to tell you that I thought this would work for me but little did I know that those things I have pushed to the back burner would resurface at a not so good time. I would be fine one minute and the next I did not want to deal with anyone and find myself getting caught up in the emotions of what has resurfaced. There are many triggers that can cause us to revisit the emotions of things that have hurt us – over and over. Now, I am able to revisit but smile at how proud I am for taking the steps necessary to heal. Instead of ignoring issues that need to be dealt with, we can heal therefor it no longer has domonion over us!

I have organized and hosted workshops in my hometown (in which I no longer reside there) and I have learned a lot. I love helping others, so the events were very fulfilling. I was unable to keep it going due to funding but if I had the mindset that I have now, I would have reached out further (outside of my community) for the support needed to keep the events going. There was no profit to assist in keeping things going. Well, I did profit $17 once. I jumped all in thinking that sponsorships from the local community would assist me in bringing events to life. Now, let me give you an idea of my hometown so that you can better understand why the support simply was not there.

The community is small approximately 10,000 in population. There is one primary, elementary, middle and high school. My children were attending the same schools as I did as a child. The stores are mainly mom and pop and there are restaurants that are popular like McDonald’s, Wendy’s and Burger King just to name a few.

Here I am this creative mind in a very slow-paced community and the fire inside of me would not simmer down enough to let me just settle for what the community had to offer. I began to organize and host events that would bring something different to the area. This was very challenging for me. It was hard to push my ideas in an area that wasn’t ready for something so different. Will they ever be ready? Maybe.

Covering the expenses on my own was challenging so I had to decide to stop putting my families well being at risk for the cause. I am now much smarter than that. Women, we can not get anywhere putting our well-being last. Lessons learned – for sure.

I retreated to my computer and began blogging more and I also interact with many in my new Naturalista4me Group for women on Facebook.

That fire is still burning, and I have been behind the screen too long for my liking. I am stepping out in communities on a mission. What is this mission? Healing My Way to the Top Mission. What is this all about?

Many women contact me daily pouring out their hearts as they are dealing with everyday life obstacles and/or can not find a way to heal from the past. Their past is holding them up from living the life they desire. Their unwillingness to forgive is weighing heavy on them. Their lack of support from loved ones has them feeling alone and they find themselves dealing with depression. This goes on and on. Healing My Way to the Top is going to help many women clear these blockages that are holding them back from being happy. Are you happy? Take a moment to think about his. This isn’t about your financial status, your partner, your kids or your friends. I am asking are YOU happy. This is the focus of this mission, YOU.

It is time for change. I have done a lot of self-work and now understand what my hold up was. Because I did the work to figure this out, I was able to take back control of my life. Others no longer control me. The pain I felt when revisiting my past is no longer there. I am happy, not just smiling to keep the appearance of being happy.

So many women are having to be strong. Strong for their children, strong for other women, strong for our partners and where the problem kicks in is that many women struggle to give themselves that same attention. Too many are putting themselves last.

Healing My Way to the Top is about you doing what is necessary to reach your top. Your top may be that you desire to be a home owner someday. It could be that you can quit that job you hate clocking into everyday and finding your dream job. Everyone has their own “top” and I am going to help you to reach it.

No excuses!

This will only work for you if you are sick and tired of being sick and tired. If you are fed up with living a chaotic life and just want to be able to breathe for once without worrying yourself to death, this is for you. If you are a woman who has lost yourself in others as I did, this is for you. If you want to take back control of your life, this is for you.

This is not for the “I don’t know women”. The ones who will not make any moves because they are comfortable with being unhappy. This isn’t a beg you mission to live a purposeful life. This is women being real with themselves and addressing those issues lying dormant so that we can deal with them and become our best selves. You must make your mind up. No ifs, ands or buts about it. Stand firm in your decision to change your life.

Healing My Way to the Top is an ongoing series of events that empowers on a holistic level. Events and meetups can consist of meditation, journaling, niche vendors, guest speakers and goal setting – just to name a few.

Events are coming your way soon. If you would like to have one in your area, comment your location.

 

Join the new Naturalista4me Group for Women on Facebook. We have a lot to chitter chatter about!

Donations for the cause!

Your donation, no matter how big or small, will support this mission by assisting with the organization of events, travel and any expenses event related to help reach women on a global level so that we can make a difference. Thank you!

$5.00

66 Days New Year’s Habits Challenge

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I have joined the challenge, have you?  Naturalista4me is teaming up with Holistic Coach, Emelia Hester for the 66 Days New Year’s Habits Challenge. We all have habits whether they are good or bad. The bad habits can prevent us from living the life that we desire. Your bad habits can consist of everything from your eating habits, self-sabotaging and being so quick to react negatively to situations. Most of the times we can acknowledge these bad habits on our own and some even have the nerve to get upset when someone tells them something they already know about themselves.

Since it may hurt one’s feelings to be called out on the truth, this is not a bad thing (although many will take it as such) it can be the beginning of your life changing-for the better. When one does not act to change the truth about one’s own holdup, they are choosing to keep those bad habits. We can not grow if we do not change.

The 66 Days New Year’s Habits Challenge is organized and hosted by Holistic Coach, Emelia Hester. Emelia has a passion for teaching and helping others to shine. She organizes and hosts empowerment events in her location, Atlanta, GA. She is changing lives on a daily basis and is ready to help more people make a change for the better.

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Emelia Hester- Holistic Coach

When I signed up, Emelia shared with me the importance of being aware of my surroundings when doing the challenge. She told me to find a support group. Talk with my friends and family so they could encourage me and check in with me as I am making this change for the better. She told me that a positive environment will help me to stick to the challenge.

Join Emelia Hester’s Facebook Group: Black Women Who Shine

I have a love for uplifting others and will began to talk deeper about something I have discovered about myself since I have been on a spiritual journey. I will be encouraging those who have joined this challenge to keep pressing on when you began to have doubt or run into any obstacles. The time is now for us to take back control of the direction of our lives. It is not too late. You still have breath in your body. Take the steps starting now.

You can join the 66 Days New Year’s Habits Challenge here:

https://www.eventbrite.com/e/66-days-new-years-habits-challenge-virtual-tickets-41483156237

 

Visit her website- https://www.shinewithemelia.com/

Meditation Chat LIVE

Earlier today I was conversing with Holistic Coach, Emelia Hester. We decided to go live on Facebook (last minute) to discuss the importance of meditation and how it could be a life changer for you. I thoroughly enjoyed talking with everyone and answering questions to help people start this life changing practice.

We are going to do more Facebook lives to continue to encourage and educate others on how to change their lives for the better. We are not getting any younger. THE TIME IS NOW to take the steps to come out of strongholds, toxic relationships, patterns and habits that do not serve us for our good.

Check out the live!

 


 

Connect with us!

Emelia Hester’s Group & Page-

https://www.facebook.com/groups/119464038719894/

https://www.facebook.com/TransformingMindsLifeCoaching

 

Naturalista4me’s Group & Page-

https://www.facebook.com/groups/Naturalista4meGroup/
https://www.facebook.com/naturalista4me2/

Accomplishing Goals As A Mother? Yea Right!

I am sitting here typing this as my four-year-old son is sitting at the end of my bed. He has been waking up earlier than usual and early is when I like to meditate because the house is quiet. He has been changing the game on that. When he hears me coming up the hallway or walking down the stairs, he jumps up out of the bed and is ready for breakfast. Here I am nowhere near ready to whip out the pots. It throws me off to jump into my day without meditating first.

My other children sleep in late unless it is a school day. Now I must find a way- that’s life. As a mother sometimes, our plans and routines may have to change for the sake of our children. This within itself can discourage many parents and my mother is a great example of this. My mother wanted to do so many things in life and she had five children. She began to work her butt off to provide and this work was not within her talents. My mother can sew very well, crochet, paint, do hair and she writes. I remember (as a child) my mother going to work, getting home, cooking then locking herself in the room to rest. Boy did I hate it when my mother would close up in that room. I found myself doing that sometimes with my children and had to find balance because I know how I felt when my Mom would close up in the room for hours. I hated talking through a locked closed door to her with a passion.

(oh my gifts!)

Now that I am a mom I can understand that me time is needed to get your mind right, but I do not need so much me time that I am not actively involved with my children. Balance is very important!

I am a YouTube blogger, so I try my best to upload a video as often as I can. My children do not be quiet long enough for me to get a recording in sometimes. Sometimes I spend a full day trying to record a good video because I am stopping and doing this and that when my children are around. So, you may say, what about when they are in school? When they are in school I have from 9a-2:30p to do everything that I need to do (kid free). That really isn’t that much time, but it will not be an excuse. I will find the time for sure to do more of what I love to do. It is not a reason to just say forget it. Because I am a mother doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. Just because I am a wife doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. We can get so caught up in these “roles” that we put a halt to what we really desire to do in life.

My mother once said to me that if it were not for her having us (my siblings and I), she would have been on a different path in life, achieving her goals. Maybe her path would have been better-or worse. After this statement I began to look at her like I was a problem because I was born. My huge heart would not let me forgive myself for being born and causing so much hold up in my Mom’s life. How does one live with the regrets of being born? For me, I just disconnected and found a way to co-exist. She may not have intended to hurt my feelings in such a way, but this is a lesson that I am able to apply as I am very careful about what I say to my children.

I am an entrepreneur and I have four children. Yes, it can be difficult because you must provide for your children, spend time, teach and be all those things that a mother is to her child. I get it, I really do. I have had to quit jobs due to no babysitter or not being able to afford it. I was working basically to cover sitter expenses it seemed.

I have had to go weeks without uploading a video because I couldn’t get in hours of quiet time for whatever reason. This may have thrown me off schedule during those times, but I did not give up. I kept going by other means. If I can’t do a video, then I can surely do something else! I have a video on my YouTube channel where I had to completely mute out my background noise because my kids were playing, and I was doing a hair tutorial. I added music and annotations and you basically just watched me style my hair and read the directions. I made a way. There is always a way to keep working towards your vision.

I never wanted to have children, but I did. They are here, and I do not regret them. I looked into my 12-year-old daughter’s eyes last night and told her she is one of the best things that could have ever happened in my life. I told her that her and her siblings mean the world to me. I had my first child at 20. If you are younger than this and have a child, just know that you still have a very bright future ahead of you. I work around my children and/or involve them in what I have going on so that I can keep a close connection to them.

Do my children hold me up from achieving my goals? No. The only person that can hold me up from achieving my goals is me. My children will not be my excuse for giving up on my goals. They are the WHY in why achieving my goals is very important for their well-being. I am breaking generational curses, mental bondage’s and blockages. I am not passing on things to my children and their children and so on that does not serve them if I can help it.  My mother has not lived a life doing what she loves. She is still living so she can! I do not want to wait until I am older to start living. I do not want to wait until my children are grown before I am able to enjoy life doing what I love. I am done with the excuses.

My sisters are doing great things as well as my brother. My siblings and I are studying in career fields that help, encourage and/or heal people. We want to be of service to others. We all have children too!

(oh my gifts!) (1)

Before I end this posting I want to give you an update, I now have one child at the end of my bed and one lying next to me bumping my arm trying to get my attention and they are arguing about drinking water. My four year old has even “accidentally” kicked my computer as I have it on my lap. So, kids will be kids. Press on anyway! #noexcuse2018

It’s About To Be A New Year Baby!

mark your calendars

The end of the year is quickly approaching, and many are sharing their new year’s resolutions. I have never been the one to do new years resolutions as I believe in jumping on things now – like right now. This year I am setting a goal that is generalized. I know, you may say that a generalized goal isn’t specific, and you are right. I do have my specific goals written out already and I am actively working on those goals daily.

My generalized goal for 2018 is to get over myself. I grew up thinking little of myself and this did not go away once I became an adult. I decided to “lay low” and made sure I did not do too much to make me stand out. I did model once, but because I felt like I could become successful in that, I began to back away from the casting calls. My confidence was not there like many people thought it would be.

I did not have a support system when it came to my modeling dream and to be completely honest, the ones who were saying “that is good Qwania” to me once I got chosen for a gig gave me a completely different energy that overruled what their mouths were saying. My confidence was not there already, and it did not help to have the awkward energy from those I thought would be my main supporters.

So, when I say that I am getting over myself that means that I am getting out of my own way.  I am going to purposely work on my confidence in my works and stop self-sabotaging due to thoughts and feelings of doubt. I am stopping being so overly critical of myself to the point to where I shut myself down. I get in a “stuck” state of being where my ideas are there in my head, but I am not taking the steps to bring them to my reality.

I began to wonder if what I bring to the world is really helping. During these moments I usually receive an email, YouTube video comment or run into someone who tells me that I am helping them so much. See, if what I am doing does not help someone else, I am not fulfilled in my works. My purpose consists of me helping others. How can I do this sitting around stuck with ideas floating around in my head.

I was listening to an inspirational video by Les Brown and he stated that the richest place on earth is the graveyard because, so many take their ideas to the grave. This opened my eyes. We are creators. Why are we not creating the desires of our hearts? Why are we our own worst enemy? Why do we go harder for others than we do for our own personal goals? We will work 40-60 hours a week for a company helping to achieve the company goals but give our goals the leftover energy. The I don’t feel like this energy. The I’ll get to it later energy. Before you know it, years have passed, and we are still saying we will get to our goals eventually.

If tomorrow is not promised, what makes us think we have years to procrastinate? I may live past 100 years of age but is it promised to me though? I want to live a life where I can visit beautiful nature sights all over the world with my family and just be. I want the feeling of freedom. Don’t we all?

Because I know exactly what I want, I need to get out of my own way and make it happen. I know I will be uncomfortable along this path, but it is all a part of it. I recently moved out of my comfort zone physically (my hometown). I am completely uncomfortable in a new city that is way bigger than where I came from. I often catch myself looking at the scenery and smiling. It takes my breath away. For me to grow I must stay out of my comfort zone so that I do not find myself settling. I am forever learning and growing.

For the new year I am getting out of my own way, what about you? Do you have a new year’s resolution?

How To Set The Tone of Your Day

set the tone for you day (1)

This post contains a link that will take you to another site. It is an affiliate link that this site will profit from.

 

I began doing something new this year and that is setting the tone for my day. There were some days when the alarm clock wasn’t set correctly, and I found myself jumping out of bed and right into getting the kids ready for school. Boy was those mornings hectic. I was aggravated, and the kids were getting aggravated with me. Lol!

I notice that on days when I can get up and have some quiet time I am able to take some deep breaths and express how grateful I am for all that is taking place in my life. I express how grateful I am for my family, supporters, my health and whatever else I can think of. Your list does not have to be long so if time is a concern I am sure you can think of at least one thing you are grateful for.

Having an attitude of gratitude first thing in the morning helps me to find more things to be grateful for throughout my day. Instead of looking at my kids in a state of aggravation because I am having to tell them to brush their teeth and get dressed over and over, I can look at them and just smile and say I am grateful that we have the things that we need for them to be able to brush their teeth and get dressed for the day.

 

To purchase click here

 

So, the aggravation becomes less, and the gratefulness kicks in. My shift in energy will rub off on the kids and everything falls right into place therefore it goes much smoother in getting them ready.

Recently my husband accepted a new job, so he must be to work before the kids have to catch the bus. At first, I was in my feelings because I didn’t want to walk to the bus stop everyday to take our youngest daughter. I was taking her to school until now. Little did I know that I would love it. This also helps me to set the tone of my day.

I wake up, take some deep breaths, express all that I am grateful for, get the children ready and walk my youngest daughter to the bus stop. The fresh air and beautiful scenery of the mountains early in the morning is amazing. My neighbors may think I am nuts for scrolling slowly back to the house while looking all around and smiling. I am truly amazed at the beauty of nature. Something that I thought I would hate doing in the morning turned out to be something that I look forward to. It is a great addition to my morning routine.
I challenge you to try it and take note of how your day goes. Was it easy peasy? Did you handle situations better? I know if I go a day without setting my tone I will not deal with things the same. It just seems so much harder. I enjoy being chill, worrying less and reducing the stress!

How do you set the tone for your day?

 

Qwania

Are You Stuck In A Victim Mindset?

I Am Not A Victim

This post contains a link that will direct you to another site to purchase. The product available for purchase is created by myself (Naturalista4me) and spouse (Evans Dixon).

Having a victim mindset will not help me to heal and darn sure does not help me to grow. There are those people who learn from their stories and then there are those who are drowning in their stories. Some people cannot find a way to move on from the hurtful things of their past or deal with the hurtful things that may come their way in life.

Once you begin to look at things from a different perspective rather than, my life is terrible, I hate my life, the world is against me and anything within this low vibrational mindset, you can begin to do what is necessary to be happy despite.

With everything that I have experienced in life and am currently experiencing, I am able to look back over my past and see that I had problems then too. I made it through those problems and here I am today, standing tall, healthy and encouraged. In my past I had no idea how I would make it through, so I stressed about every little thing. Guess what?! I made it through. Was stressing worth it? Is putting my health at risk worth it?

It was only until this year that I begin to change my mindset from being a victim. I feel so much better! I used to share my stories (everyone has one) and it would depress me all over again. I used to play the blame game. So, and so hurt me. So, and so is not a good person. So, and so will get what is coming to them. Why would so and so hurt me? Why me? Why do I keep encountering obstacle after obstacle? What did I do to deserve this? So many questions and thoughts would mentally drain me.

I also had friends that would entertain my victim mindset and would sometimes even bring up my story to me if I was being too positive. Once I noticed that I would distance myself from that friend for a while. This may sound like a mean thing to do but I did not want to be constantly reminded of hurtful things.

Now when those friends bring up those things, I have learned to redirect the conversation. This way I do not have to distance myself. I am healed from my past and anything that comes at me now I know how to center myself and learn from it. Each situation brings its’ own set of emotions but I still know how to bring myself back to a state of gratefulness and understanding of what is taking place around me.

I Am Not A Victim (2)

I busy myself with things that make me happy. After all, all we really have is the now. If I find myself deep in thought about problems in life, I make myself snap out of it. One day when you are deep in thought about how terrible things are going in your life, observe how your body feels at that moment. How is your energy? What type of energy are you putting out into the universe at that time? Do you think these emotions will make your situation better or worse? If I am consumed in how terrible my life appears to be going, I will look for more things to add to the list of how terrible my life is. I have socks, but it isn’t the socks that I really want. I have food, but it isn’t the food that I really want. I have a car, but it isn’t the car that I want. This way of thinking takes you out of a state of gratefulness.

The old me would stress, sleep, eat and check out mentally. I did not want to be bothered. I ignored phone calls, knocks at the door, emails, texts and avoided going places where I might run into people who may ask me how I am doing. This person that I am today will feel myself getting down, so I immediately start doing something to bring me back to my happy place. This could be putting on some feel good music, dancing around alone or with my husband and kids, reading, writing, calling up a friend, going to the state parks to spend time in nature, going for a drive or whatever is needed to bring my vibration back up.

No one’s life is clear of obstacles. Because this is a fact, the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to learn to be happy anyway. Some people say, “I will be happy when I get rich”. What if I told you that there are rich people who are very unhappy. I recently read a book by Tony Robbins and he mentioned that there was a guy who was a billionaire and when he loss some money (he was still rich) he committed suicide. We shouldn’t wait until we have this or that to be happy.

Many years ago, I did a program called Mind over Money and I learned so much about my relationship with money. When I had a great flow of money I found myself having bad relationships with friends and family. I spoke over myself that I’d rather have just enough to get by so that I can have peace in my relationships. Because of this I began to subconsciously self-sabotage. I would pass up opportunities. I dimmed my light as I didn’t want to shine so bright to offend anyone.

Being that I had this to work on, it was easy for me to get consumed in problems of my past and do the blame game as to why past partnerships didn’t work out. In this, I can only blame myself, right? I created a lot of my past problems because of where my mind was at the time. I attracted a lot of foolery. 😜I allowed people to treat me all types of ways because of how I felt about myself. I allowed people to get over on me because I felt I would be OK (yea right). I can holler I am a victim all day, but I play a role in a lot of my past situations. See, we have more control over our happiness than we think.

Today I can see all of this clearly and it all makes perfect sense. While going through the things I have experienced I put so much fault on others. Some situations were fault of others and unfortunate, but I also played a role in many of my past situations. Being a “victim” made me vulnerable and naive.

I Am Not A Victim (3)

Instead of falling victim to my circumstances I now observe what is going on and take a good look at myself and how I play a role in it. I also look for ways for me to help myself. I ask myself, “what can I do now to make this better or to make sure it will not happen again?” Instead of doing the blame game or being consumed in the low vibration emotions, I acknowledge how I feel and look for a way to make it better.

As I look at those who fell out with me over money I must take responsibility for my part in enabling them by always coming to the rescue even when I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t know how to say no. I felt obligated and put myself last for those who didn’t appreciate me. They treated me like I owed it to them. I allowed that treatment by giving in every time something was needed or requested. I allowed them to disrespect me time and time again and I would still give because I felt pressured. I have learned how to say no, or I have other obligations. I have so much more respect now from those individuals. At first, they didn’t like it (of course) but I put my foot down and conquered the situation.

What about those people who have hurt you? They have moved on with their lives. We must find a way to forgive them and ourselves. Quit beating yourself up about what you should’ve, could’ve done. There isn’t anything that can be changed about it so there is no need to allow this heavy weight to carry on with you for the rest of your life. Take the steps to heal.

Some techniques that I use to heal are cord cutting, visualization, meditation, positive affirmations and spending time in nature. I will talk more in depth about these techniques in another blog post.

I Am Not A Victim (1)

Take back control of your life. You are not a victim. Get out of the victim mindset as it is an anchor. It keeps you down. Every time you revisit that situation in your mind it can cause you to become angry, stagnant and depressed. Get to a place where when you think about the situation you have a peace within you so that you do not fall victim to your circumstances.

You are not a victim, you are more than a conqueror!

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If I Fail, At Least I Have Given It My All

jasmine

Hi guys my name is Jasmine Barton-Moore author of Sparks Fly. I self-published my own book, but before I explain let me give you a little back ground of myself. I am twenty-six years old at the moment. I found myself lost and wondering what I was going to do in life. I had gotten my degree of Associate of Arts in English. After that I still found myself lost. I told myself you could go back to school and continue your education and get into a lot of debt or you can live out your dream, live for the here and now. Tomorrow is not promised to us. Now I am not saying I will never go back to school, but I was tired of waking up every morning and not living to my fullest potential. I had started my blog post www.jasminebartonmoore.com where I would publish chapters of my book, but that still wasn’t enough for me.

I had surgery December 2016 and I had six weeks off from work, I found myself lying in bed, sleeping all day and doing absolutely nothing with my time. One day I decided to I pull out my laptop and finish Spars Fly. At the time I had no title for the book, but I was driven to accomplish something and be happy about it. Just like that I had finished my book, but I didn’t know where to go from there. So of course I turned to the Internet, I educated myself on self-publishing, building a business and growing my platform.

You’re probably thinking, why not go to school to learn this stuff. Believe me this was no easy journey, it was stressful. I worked a fulltime job, I sat on different boards for church, I squeezed in working out, living the married life, and I took care of my brother. My day would start at 5:30 in the morning and end at midnight every day. The reason I choose not to go to school at the time is because I remember sitting in class and listening to my professor say how he was still paying off his student loans and how so many people have had to go back to college because no one is hiring in the field they went to school for. I didn’t want to be fifty years old and paying back school debt when I could be my own Boss. I do still work a fulltime job, but just like I put in nine hours a day at that job, I come home and put just as much time into my business.

When I was looking for direction I looked to God, but also I had to restore the confidence I lost and believe in myself again. If I was going to fail, at least I knew I gave it my all. The year 2018 I plan on publishing two books and announcing another project I have been working on so be on the look out for that.

 

 

If you want to learn more about my journey you can find me on all social media platforms:

Instagram- @jasminebarton_moore

YouTube- Jasmine Barton-Moore

Facebook- Jasmine Barton-Moore

Twitter- jasminebartonmoore

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