3 Easy Ways to Deal with Negative Comments about Your Natural Hair

Along your natural hair journey you may experience highly critical negative people. It can be challenging to do something different from your normal when dealing with these types of personalities. Some people dislike natural hair and will not keep their negative comments to themselves.

They feel entitled to their opinions and many expect for you to alter just to make them happy.

I am going to share 3 easy ways that I deal with people who give me negative looks or comments along my natural hair journey.

1.  Be Confident

When you are confident, negative comments will not effect you as it could if you are not happy with who you are.

Self care is one of the best ways to boost your confidence level. Do things you love. Take care of yourself. Include yourself rather than excluding yourself. Detox your life. Have a spa day. Kick your feet up and read a good book over a glass of wine.

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We can be our own worst critic as well. When we are in this head and heart space, it is easier for unwanted comments to get the best of us.

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Taking care of your mental, physical and spiritual health supports the existence of harmony in your life.

When you feel good and are in a good spiritual, mental and physical space in your being, you are less bothered by negative comments and looks.

2.  Ignore

You can choose to act as if you did not hear their comments and keep it moving. Ignore someone enough and they may choose to let it go or nah.

Some people do not take being ignored too well so they may step it up a notch and get louder and bolder and this is when you can result to number three.

3.  Respond

Responding in a way to let a person know that you will not alter who you are for them may work. It has for me.

Some of my family and associates did not understand the beginning stages of my loc journey. In the beginning, things were said that could have effected my decision to hang in there on my journey.

When someone looks at you with a face of disgust, it can cause you to feel uncomfortable.

My initial inner response used to be something along the lines of “did I ask you what you think about me?” “Why do you think I live my life for you?”. However, I have never said this out loud.

My responses are always along the lines of:

  • “hmm, that’s an interesting view.”
  • “I have yet to have trouble doing anything that I desire due to my hair.” (hump shoulders and walk off)
  • “Are you done?” Then redirect the conversation.

These are some of the responses that I use as it varies from situation to situation.

Stand firm in who you are and your decisions. You are unique and should remain that way so that you can add value to the world through your purpose.

You can not maintain a happy state of mind if you are someone who alters yourself for others satisfaction. It may feel ok at first, but in time you may find yourself disconnected more than ever from your true self.

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How to Go Natural without Doing the Big Chop

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Cutting your hair “big chop style” can be scary to imagine – I get it. I thought I would look horrible going from bone straight shoulder length hair to a short haircut. I often asked myself, what would everyone else think of me? Yea, I was concerned with what others may think but here I am now many years later without a care in the world of judgments on my hair.

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Many of you already know that I am rocking semi-free form locks and I can assure you, in the beginning stages of my lock journey, many thought I went bonkers. I began my natural hair journey in 2011. I eventually chose to lock my hair. I started my locks from a short tapered cut August of 2015.

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One of my customers told me she thought I was going through a state of depression (or something) as it appeared as if I had let myself go. Whoa!

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Due to my personal fear of the big chop, I chose to return natural by transitioning to my natural texture. Transitioning is the process of discontinuing to relax (chemical processing) and growing the hair out while leaving the relaxed ends attached. This provides more length and for many, comfort.

After transitioning for one year, I decided to do the chop!

With the below steps, you can transition easily and master some basic techniques that can prepare your for caring for your beautiful natural crown.

1. Completely Let Go of the Relaxer

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I must be honest and say that taking the journey to transitioning can have its’ challenges as you must work with two different textures to achieve styles. Many beginner naturals have the tendency to apply relaxer onto their edges to keep a slick look as the kinkier roots grow in. This is very damaging to the hair and can result in breakage. Applying relaxer to any part of your hair can be damaging and toxic.

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To return natural, you must make your mind up and decide to hang in there and completely let go of the chemical processing. Natural hair is curly so it is expected that your edges may also be curly. It is a part of the natural process. Embrace it!

2. Take Special Care of Your Hair

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Returning natural does not mean that you do not do anything. You must still take care of your hair. During the transitioning phase, you are dealing with a combination of chemically processed hair and your natural hair. If you do not take the time to wash, condition, deep condition, get trims and wide tooth comb, finger detangle or brush your hair, breakage/damage will soon follow. This alone can cause you to become discouraged as your hair may become hard to manage and is dry and brittle.

Starting your natural hair journey with a simple hair care regimen can help reduce the overly exaggerated complications that you may have heard about natural hair. When your mind is made up that you are going to do this, you will not look at your hair journey obstacles as reasons to stop but more so a challenge of how you can perfect your hair care regimen.

Do not neglect your crown because your hair will frown.

3. Wear Protective Styles

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Wearing protective styles is a great way to transition if styling your hair on the regular is not convenient for you. Some protective style options are braids, twists and crochet. I would not suggest wearing tight sew in’s and glue in’s. These style options can be very damaging to your hair and stunt your hair growth.

Wearing protective styles allows for you to tuck away the ends of your hair strands therefor protecting your fragile ends from constant manipulation, breakage and any harsh weather conditions.

4. Wear Different Styling Options to Blend the Two Textures

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There are hair style options that you can wear that do not include extensions. Some examples are: Bantu knot outs, roller sets, flat twist outs and braid outs. These hairstyle options help to blend the two different textures so that you can rock your natural hair as you desire without the two textured look. You can treat your entire head like it is natural and set your hair before bed in twists or braids, unravel in the morning and whoolah, you have created an over night style!

These styles are popular among the fully natural hair community so this is the perfect time to get in your practice.

5. Let It Go

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In order for you to be completely natural, you must eventually let go of your chemically processed ends. Holding on to them will only aggravate you and hinder your natural hair growth. I transitioned for one year and decided that holding on to the relaxer was causing me more frustration than I had anticipated so they had to go.

My husband gave me a good chop with the clippers. I did not start from a low fade more so a teeny weeny afro (TWA). Once I did that, my growth took off! I felt a huge relief. I was now able to rock a fro with a headband without straggly ends of chemical processed hair. I cut off my relaxed ends in 2011. I have not looked back. Let it go. You can do it!

 

 

 

 

 

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Why I Chose to Place Radiation Protectors on My Mobile Devices

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It is very rare that you will find someone who does not own a mobile device of some sort. In order for these devices to work, they must emmitt EMF/EMR (electro magnetic fields/electro magnetic radiation).

Radiation can be harmful to you with over exposure. With the constant use of my computer and cellphone, I wanted to find something that could protect me.

I placed a radiation protection device on my mobile phone and computer, a little over three months ago.

There are many different radiation protection devices but they are not created equal.

EMF/EMR is needed for your mobile device to work so if you applied a device that blocks EMF/EMR then your mobile device may work harder to function properly therefor emitting more radiation.

I came across a company that has a complete understanding of this and they have designed devices that can be applied to your mobile devices and clothes.

Instead of blocking EMF/EMR, Aires Technologies designs and develops microprocessors that reduce the adverse effects of electromagnetic radiation.

Excessive exposure to radiation can cause a number of health concerns, most specifically damage to cell tissue, including cancer.

Learn more here.

Get 10% off your protection shield by using coupon code naturalista4me.

I Hosted an Educational Herbal Tea Party for Senior Citizens

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I had the pleasure of organizing and teaching about the benefits of herbal tea at The Lodge at Natchez Trace Senior Assisted Living facility located in Nashville, TN. It was an amazing experience as the residents enjoyed selective herbal teas that they felt best suited their needs.

I offered a variety of teas and educated on the herbs that each consisted of and how it could benefit their health. The residents had a lot of questions (in which I love) so I thoroughly enjoyed engaging with them to figure out which tea they would like to try.

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Joyce & Me

To get away from the “class is in session” feel, I decided to present this discussion about teas in a themed tea party setting. With the help of a lady I just adore (Joyce), we turned a space into a beautiful tea party theme. Due to HIPAA, I am unable to share most of the images captured but everything turned out beyond my expectations!

No resident sat alone due to our seating placements and this encouraged socialization. I personally believe it is important to have a social life throughout your entire life. I have observed that many seniors have a routine and this routine consists of being alone, watching TV, reading and/or any other activities that they could do alone. When I am working with seniors, I encourage them to create new friendships and relationships. I encourage them to continue to learn and share what they have learned with their loved ones. Many are facing different health complications and wish for their loved ones to make better decisions.

After the residents were seated, I then discussed the benefits of drinking herbal tea. Residents were given a variety of teas to choose from. Most of them chose a tea for stress relief and relaxation. I also do relaxation meditation at this facility to assist those who have a hard time calming their mind and getting good rest.

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My goal is to continue to share natural options for supporting ones health with as many people as I possibly can. More and more seniors are seeing about their health and desire to make the necessary changes. Many simply do not know where to start. This is where I come in. I love to provide information as you cannot do what you do not know how to do. I like to place people in “the know”. Knowledge is power. The more we learn, the better off we are.

As a senior, you can still make decisions that can have a huge impact on your health. Many are prescribed long lists of medications and no one wants to keep up with taking many pills a day. What about those side effects? Taking steps to prevent or revert disease is something in our control and we can do it. It will take discipline. You can do this!

If you are not yet a senior, just know that what you do now will compound and you will see a result from it. What will your results look like?

See Also:
Lose Weight Fast with The Red Tea Detox
How to Reduce Menstrual Cramps by Yoni Steaming
Herbal Tea & Hair Growth

Book An Educational Herbal Tea Party for a Group.

Disclaimer

Naturalista4me does not claim to treat, diagnose, prescribe or cure. Please consult with your physician about any medical concerns you may have. Naturalista4me provides information.

Fear

I have lived majority of my life in crippling fear. One of my biggest fears was dying so anything that seemed too risky, I did not want any part of it. There were some days I was afraid to drive after seeing accidents on the highway or hearing of someone dying due to an accident. I was afraid to fly after hearing stories about plane crashes. I was afraid to take a cruise because of boat sinking tragedies like the Titanic. I also grew fearful of dogs and cats.

When I was a child, my mother made it very clear to my siblings and me that she was afraid of cats and dogs. Although she feared dogs, my mother bought me a dog that I named Lady. She was a Labrador Retriever. Her fur coat was golden, and she had light brown hazelnut hued eyes. We shared the same birth day. Lady took care of a family of kittens once. It amazes me how she also knew that my mother did not like cats. She would sneak them across the yard and would sometimes hide them in a bush or in her dog house. I even caught her guiding them to a hole that was in our woodened fence. After many attempts to guide them through the fence, they eventually made their way through and went off into the world.

One day, my mother was calling out to me while I was outside feeding a kitten some milk that I had snuck from our refrigerator. I was keeping this kitten hidden in a kitchen playset that my mother placed outside. When I heard her voice getting closer, I hurried and parted ways from it.

My mother asked me what I was doing, and I told her nothing. She knew I was up to something and began looking through my kitchen set. She noticed a bowl of milk and some material that I placed in it for a bed for the kitten. She got very upset and told me to stay away from cats because she does not like them.

From that moment, I stayed away from cats. I began to avoid cats and even got to the point of fearing them. How did I go from being a cat lover to being fearful of them? Many of my fears do not stem from my own personal encounters, they stem from things that are presented to me repeatedly through different vessels. Social media, friends, the news, TV shows, coworkers, spouse, society and many more can have an influence on your perspective.

We are born to our parents who have their own fears. As a child you are influenced by those that take part in your experiences. Your teachers, peers and parents can shape your perspective on the world.

What they fear, they will try to protect you from and eventually you could find yourself having the same fears. You do not give life a chance when you place big red warning signs on things that you have yet to experience for yourself because those around you are fearful of them.

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We must ask ourselves, are we living our lives due to other’s fears and limitations?

Take the time to write down your fears. Then, tackle them one by one. You can do this!

After writing down my fears, I began to take the steps to overcome those fears. Some of my fears were, riding through certain areas, having a plane crash, sinking on a cruise ship and let’s not forget those cats.

I took a trip that required I fly and marked that off the list. I took a cruise and marked that off the list. I keep going down my list and marking things off.

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Another method I use is to write my fears down on a sheet of paper and then burn it. Poof! Into flames it goes. This may seem too simple to work but there is always a weight that is lifted from me and therefore I become more motivated.

Fear stands in the way of your progress.

Don’t let the fear of what might happen make nothing happen.

Lose Weight Fast with The Red Tea Detox

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Herbal teas are a favorite of mine as they are very beneficial for your health. I use herbal tea for digestive health, skin care (eczema), hair care, detox, when I am feeling under the weather ,to support the proper functioning of my organs and more.

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Losing weight is a challenge for many so I wanted to share a healthy way for you to melt away the pounds.

Prescription medications may work but my question for you is are you aware of what the weight loss pill consists of? What about the long lists of side effects?

Herbs are natural and the body can process them and most of all accept them. Nature is the original medicine.

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When it comes to weight loss many become discouraged. It can get costly to purchase healthier foods. It can be challenging to stick to a gym schedule when so much is happening already within your daily schedule.

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What about those Moms who are always ripping and running from work to support their children’s schedules with recreational activities, doctor visits and school functions ? Or the people who are wearing an array of hats?

The reality is, many of us have busy daily lives and sticking to a weight loss plan can be challenging.

Their is a natural herbal tea that safely controls your cravings and can help you lose weight fast.

What if you could melt away 1 pound of fat every 72 hours?

Learn more about this powerful red herbal tea here.

How to Support Healthy Growing Natural Hair in the Winter

Hair tends to be dryer in the winter months. The cool wind blows through your kinks and makes it challenging to maintain shiny, soft and moisturized (minus the greasiness/oiliness) hair.

There are three easy and simple ways to maintain healthy growing moisturized hair in the winter.

1. Protective Styling

Styles that tuck away the hair so that the fragile ends are not exposed to cold temperatures are known as protective styles.

Protective styling is not just for the winter months as I have noticed that many naturals also protective style in the summer. We can chop that up to the heat!

Protective styling is not limited to a certain time of the year. Many do it all year round for convenience.

Protective Style Options:

Updos

Pinning the hair up into buns and other updo hairstyle options allows for the ends of your hairstrands to be tucked away from the cold and dry air. Selective updos can also allow for you to retain moisture, length, and style.

Minimal maintenance will also benefit you as you will not be pulling and tugging on your hair everyday.

Extensions

Some naturals choose to wear extensions to protect their hair. There are some things you need to look out for when taking this route. I discussed them in my blog post , The Harmful Effects of Protective Styling for Natural Hair.

Braids, crochets, twists and sew ins are examples of extension styles that are popular amongst naturals.

Learn more about protective styling options:

7 Best Protective Hairstyles That Actually Protect Natural Hair For Black Women

2. De Stress

According to the Mayo Clinics’s, Stress, depression and the holidays: Tips for coping, the holiday season often brings unwelcome guests — stress and depression. And it’s no wonder. The holidays present a dizzying array of demands — parties, shopping, baking, cleaning and entertaining, to name just a few.

During the winter months is challenging for many as it is the holiday season. Many are stressing about pleasing their children by purchasing everything (and some) of what they have asked Santa (or you) for.

Stressing for prolonged periods can contribute to health complications. Anytime their is an imbalance in the body, the normal functioning of body systems are at risk.

Stress may contribute to hair loss if not handled accordingly. How you deal with stress is what will determine it’s effects on your health.

3. Simple Moisturizing Hair Care Regimen

It can get expensive to jump from product to product trying to find one that will keep your hair shiny and moisturized. This can put a dent in your finances. This can surely bring on the stress.

Incorporate steaming, essential oils blended with a carrier oil, scalp massages and protective styling to maintain healthy growing hair.

Some of my favorite essential oils are:

Lavender

Tea tree

Rosemary

Peppermint

Pure Essential Oil Selection

Be sure to watch your stress levels. Nothing is worth your health.

The winter time can be the easiest if you simplify your hair care regimen and wear low maintaince styles.

See more protective hairstyle options,

35 Protective Styles for Healthy Natural Hair

Why People Pleasing Is Unhealthy

There was a girl who was very creative. She spent a lot of time alone as a child and her mind would take her to places she could not explain to her social circle or family.

She chose to hide a huge part of herself as she wanted to appear to be as normal as possible. She wore clothes that did not attract attention. Her hairstyles were basic as she carefully selected them so that she would not stand out.

She catered to others and redirected conversations that put her on the spot so that she would not have to talk much about herself.

She perfected this way of existing and before you know it she began to feel as if something was missing. How long can a person go keeping a huge part of who they are under wraps from a judgemental society? She processed differently so she felt noone could ever see her perspective. Her opinions were ‘to out there and crazy‘.

Depression soon followed as she continued to be what she thought others needed her to be.

She worked jobs that were acceptable by her loved ones. She lived in a location that was suffocating her as her family wanted her near. She attempted to move and eventually went on a guilt trip because she left people who needed her.

She reached the age of thirty and knew in her soul that change was necessary. Her life was now on autopilot as she made herself available for all who needed her. She was not always up to par to wear the hats that she sometimes had to but she did it because she wanted to please others. She wanted to be the one to bring joy to others but in that she did not maintain her joy and peace. She got lost.

That girl is now thirty-three and she is me. The continuance of people pleasing into my adulthood became a hindrance to my growth. I felt afraid to jump for my dreams because it may not be accepted. I felt afraid to share my goals as the energy I received from some screamed “you are crazy to ever think you can do that.” “Who do you think you are?”

I passed up opportunities to keep the peace. I would tell myself not to appear successful because I did not want to attract any attention from those that I was so concerned about their opinions.

If you are a people pleaser then this blog post is for you. I have lived the majority of my life pleasing others, hiding and dimming my shine. I sometimes still battle with shining my light. My inner chat is not always where it should be but when this begins to happen you must pull yourself out that state of mind.

My inner chat sometimes goes like this:

  1. You are not capable.
  2. Some of my loved ones will make things harder for me as I expand.
  3. More money more problems.
  4. I do not want to appear smarter in any way.
  5. What if I do not know all the answers?
  6. What if I embarrass myself?
  7. What if my family was right?
  8. What if I don’t have enough money?

I can go on and on.

As I dug deeper into myself I discovered that I have a purpose and there is no way that I can fulfill that by imprisoning myself in what others may think. This is mental prison. Others can not benefit from the effects you will have on the world if you are busy holding yourself captive by determining your moves based on the opinions of people whom are living life stuck in their ego (fear) so they deter you from making any moves outside of their own understanding.

Do you simply accept something you are uncomfortable with? People deal with ‘different’ and ‘change’ in their own way. Let’s not forget to mention that they too have inner chat so you never know where their emotions are coming from.

You can make every decision based on someones approval and I can assure you they will find something else that you can change or do better.

You must stop looking outward for approval and do what you are called to do. Find your purpose and place of peace. Here is where your happiness lies.

Their are people in the world waiting on you to shine. Noone can reach them like you can. Judgmental people will be in your path. People will have their opinions of what you should be doing but the truth is, you don’t need anyone to tell you that. You have that answer within you.

Take a moment to sit quietly and breathe. Think about what makes you happy. Think about your talents. Think about what you enjoyed doing as a child. Are you doing what brings you joy? Are you doing what you want to do and not what others think is best?

If you want to have inner peace and fulfill your dreams, you must learn how to shine no matter what anyone thinks. I promise you, you will thank yourself for not giving a flip flop!

The Harmful Effects of Protective Styling for Natural Hair

Protective hair styling has become a major part of many natural hair journey’s. These styles are supposed to protect your hair and minimize manipulation that can cause hair breakage. There are many hairstyles that can be considered protective to the hair strands and then there are some that are not as protective as you may think.

Many naturals choose to lean towards extensions for protective styling options. It is a process to get extensions installed. I am going to discuss two not so protective styles that includes extensions.

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Braids

Braids are a popular protective style choice. They are worn by all cultures, sexes and ages. With the warmer weather gracing us with its’ presence, we can expect to see many braid styles as many flock to the beaches, lakes and waterparks to have some fun in the sun.

Braids are beautiful, but they can also cause hair loss if they are done too tightly. One thing I have noticed with natural hair is that many believe they must grip the hair tightly to catch every curl and edge. This results in a painful scalp, itching, reddening, bumping up and hair loss.

Our hair can shed almost 100 strands a day, so you may notice hair within your braids once you take them down. There is no need to worry. If you notice your edges are itchy and bumpy and you have headaches because of your braids, they are too tight and can not be considered a protective style.

Micro braids and twists used to be one of my favorite go to protective styling options. Even though my hair was popping off around the edges, I would still get them for convenience. I ignored what was taking place with the health of my hair for the sake of convenience and beauty. I can not name one person that is OK with losing hair around their edges. If your braids are too tight, they can not be considered a protective style.

Glue in Weaves

Quick weaves and partial leave out weaves using glue can take a toll on your natural hair. Glue is placed on your crown as an adhesive. When I was a natural hair stylist, I had a customer who had recently gotten a quick weave as a protective style by another stylist. Hair glue was throughout her afro and it was very difficult to get it out. There was also breakage from where the glue would not come out easily.

Chemicals in glue can also be irritating to the scalp and cause itchiness and inflammation. This can delay your healthy hair growth cycle.

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These two hair style choices are the most common choices that I have encountered with other naturals. Protective styles should protect and not cause harm to your hair strands and follicles. If you notice irritation or pain from a hair style, I suggest removing it immediately. I know installments can cost a good penny, but the goal is to have a healthy hair growth journey.

I am not against extensions, however, I am not in favor of the harm that it could possibly do to your hair strands and follicles therefore causing you to have to keep covering the damage up with more extensions. If you go to a hair stylist, I always suggest picking one that has the health of your hair at heart first! You want to be able to rock your natural and it be healthy as well as rock your protective styles knowing your hair will still be healthy after taking the extensions out.

 

 

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