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depression help

When The Stresses of Life Keep You From The Things You Love

by Sabrina Sainthilaire- Lady In The Wilderness

 

rose-for-thought-jpe

 

I know it has been a while since I have blogged, which needless to say means that I am entirely stressed out! Besides prayer, writing is all I have to truly get out how I feel. Sometimes I think to rename my site( http://roseladywilderness.blogspot.com/) the Weaver because I have been told that I take life issues, complicated, and un-complicate them by weaving them together into a beautiful piece of art. Thus, I throw my issues out to the world, then bring myself understanding by staring them in the face and merging them into a semi-funny, lovingly hearty, and desirable read!

Stressor I: I have been wanting to provide a better life for my children for as long as I can remember. Now, more than ever since I am there sole parent. I have dedicated two years (in March) to finding a career path that will provide daytime hours, solid benefits, and salary pay. A field that vacation can be procured and sick leave is encouraged at the pull of a tissue! In these years I have written, re-written, and completely over-written my resume. I have a federal resume, short resume, IT resume, Law enforcement resume, educator resume….in all formats such as functional, chronological, and plain comical….funny….okay, not funny. Guess what guys, believe it or not, I GOT ‘THE’ JOB!!! How, only God! The day I got the job was so horrible that I didn’t even notice I had the job. I received an email the same afternoon from the lady I interviewed with, but left so discouraged that I didn’t check my email. I received a call the following morning stating that they needed me to sign and send back over paperwork…it still didn’t register that I had got the job! It wasn’t until late afternoon when they sent over the direct deposit paperwork along with the dates of training that I realized that “I GOT THE JOB!!!!” YES!

The blessing in it all, it took two years for God to Bless me with this job. I wonder if all that I have endured was only to teach me how to be humble. I have been to the lowest point of having no food, taking donations from every place that would offer, applying for assistance in just about every government program, not having gas to get my children to or from school, sacrificing everything that I was accustomed to so that I could give my children a better life, and lying awake at night praying and crying well into the day for the Lord to bring me relief…any relief.

In this time… I learned that no matter how tall I stand in life to not forget the bottom that God has brought me from, to keep him at the head of all things in my life, and to rely on him to continue to provide as he did when I had nothing.

Stressor II: Homework! My children’s homework is so tough! I have a son in kindergarten and a daughter in the 1st grade. I could only imagine what I should suspect when I have middle and high-school students! This homework that my children come home with takes hours to complete. I have structured my schedule to one child per day. My daughters homework days are Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. My son’s homework days are now Tuesday and Thursday. This gives me two days of uninterrupted time with the 1st grader and one day of uninterrupted time with the kindergartner. My son (the kindergartner) can complete most of his weeks homework in a day, therefore, it is easy to concentrate all of his work into that one day, Praise God. My daughter, however, she needs the three days. Homework is due on Friday so that day is out of the question.

The blessing in this…I love the one-on-one learning time that I get to spend with them. It makes learning even more fun, I have more energy, and I feel that they understand the material better. What is the other child doing while the one child is working? Reading of course! So this plan also gives both children the ability to spend more time behind a book! Good books too! I thank God!

Stressor III: Gym stress! I have been really on a strict workout schedule at the gym, working-out 5 times a week for the past two weeks. I actually haven’t been this week but two days so I must dedicate myself to going tomorrow (Friday). Which brings me to my next stressor…

Blessing in this case, I lost 10lbs!!!

Stressor IV: The school dance…the SCHOOL DANCE! My children have a dance to go to at school on Friday evening. Of course I am a volunteer parent monitor and I must have my children stick by my side! However, they seem to be disinterested in me even being there, let alone sticking by my side. So I think I may have a nervous breakdown in front of their friends because my children are no longer babies…NO LONGER BABIES!! It Is well…

The blessing in this, they get to have fun that won’t cost me a dime!

Stressor V: Men, but not too much because I don’t have one, lol! However, I don’t think a man could possibly keep me away from blogging. My ideal man would encourage my blogging so I don’t act coo coo, lol! The stress that I have in the area of men on this time dwells in the approaching, emphasized, day for love. So I give myself the benefit of the doubt. At least I am not stuck with a man that I don’t need or have settled for due to my lack of patience. I will continue to pray that God supplies my needs in this area.

The blessing in this, When he finds me God will have already prepared him and I will appreciate him so much more because I know he is “FOR” me. The wait for him is sooooooo worth it! Amen

 

rose-lady

 

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About Sabrina!

http://roseladywilderness.blogspot.com/

Sabrina secured a bachelors degree under the pressures of military life, full time parenting of two, and the stressors of everyday life. She graduated summa cum laude with a GPA of 3.97. She hopes to succeed beyond all peers through the creativeness learned in her studies of criminal justice and encourage proactive rather than a reactive form of applying it. She is passionate about the successful rehabilitation of offenders, yet she is fully knowledgeable and skilled towards computers, radios, satellites and anything that maintains or transmits a signal. These skills she learned as a Signal Support Systems Specialist (25U) in the United States Army. She wants to lead by example so that her children can reach their fullest potential. She thanks God for all of her successes!

 

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Naturally Combat Depression

Depression is something that many suffer from and sadly some suffer in silence. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression.

I am one of those who suffers in silence when it hits me. It is easy to put on a face that everything is OK when you are down inside. Imagine how many public figures are smiling their way through their day like everything is OK when things are far from OK.

I have been in contact with many that suffer from this and it can disable you.

Depression statistics infographic

healthline.com

I find myself getting frustrated about things all the while still assisting people with their problems. I get overwhelmed and feel as though I can never get anything done (unfinished projects), nothing goes right for me, no one cares about my happiness and the thoughts go on. I then shut down my social media platforms or simply ignore my notifications because I was not in the mood to interact with people. I was not in the mood to pretend that everything was ok. I have never been clinically diagnosed but when I notice that I am slipping into a depressed state I do a few techniques to help me get back to normal that do not consist of medications.

1: Breathe & Breathe Again

Yes, breathing techniques work great for me. When I find myself drifting further away from my happy place, I close my eyes and began to take deep breaths. This allows me to slow down my breathing and heart rate and I can just be for a moment. Many times after this is done I am able to press on and not get in a Debbie downer state.

 2: Spend Time With Nature

I have a natural love for nature and it is also a healing mechanism. In nature everything is right. It is peaceful and there is no rush of life. There is  no complaining and high expectations. There are no arguments and deadlines. There are no attitudes coming from plants that have had a bad day. There are no bill collectors or sales representatives hounding you about what you owe or if you would like to start a new account.

If you would shut off your mobile device and just be in nature, it is very calming and you will feel renewed.

3) Meditation

Meditation is a must for me. The explanation of meditation is a state of deep peace that occurs when the mind is calm and silent.

A Typical Meditation

1. Sit upright in a straight-backed chair, with your spine about an inch from the back of the chair, and your feet flat on the floor.

2. Close your eyes. Use your mind to watch your breath as it flows in and out. Observe your sensations without judgment. Do not try to alter your breathing.

3. After a while your mind will wander. Gently bring your attention back to your breath. The act of realizing that your mind has wandered – and bringing your attention back – is the key thing.

4. Your mind will eventually become calm.

5. Repeat every day for 20-30 minutes.

As busy as my mind is, this still works for me and I find myself being back in my happy place.

4) Exercise

When you have anxiety or depression, exercise often seems like the last thing you want to do. But once you get motivated, exercise can make a big difference.

How does exercise help combat depression?

Regular exercise can ease depression in a number of ways, which may include:
  • Releasing feel-good brain chemicals that may ease depression (neurotransmitters, endorphins and endocannabinoids)
  • Reducing immune system chemicals that can worsen depression
  • Increasing body temperature, which may have calming effects
  • Gain confidence. Meeting exercise goals or challenges, even small ones, can boost your self-confidence. Getting in shape can also make you feel better about your appearance.
  • Take your mind off worries. Exercise is a distraction that can get you away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed anxiety and depression.
  • Get more social interaction. Exercise and physical activity may give you the chance to meet or socialize with others. Just exchanging a friendly smile or greeting as you walk around your neighborhood can help your mood.
  • Cope in a healthy way. Doing something positive to manage anxiety or depression is a healthy coping strategy. Trying to feel better by drinking alcohol, dwelling on how badly you feel, or hoping anxiety or depression will go away on its own can lead to worsening symptoms.

I do not exercise as often as I should but when I do I love the way I feel afterwards. I recently began exercising a lot more. It is going to take discipline just like anything else in life. We can do this!

5) Reading                                    

I love to read! I enjoy reading everything from love stories, dramas, thrillers, history, business and marketing and more.

Reading calms me and allows me to learn and experience many different emotions and because of this I am no longer worried about any current problems. I become the characters (sometimes) and sometimes I am taking notes.

I prefer to read over watching TV. Unfortunately, there are too many subliminal programming techniques on television that controls your behavior. The last thing I need is to receive overloads of subliminal messages that send me into an unhappy state of mind. Subliminal programming is very REAL.

6) Speak Positive Affirmations

I believe I may be the positive affirmation Queen of my castle. My children can tell you that I am always speaking positive things over my life as well as others. No matter how I feel, I practice I AM positive affirmations into the Universe. I do believe in law of attraction and vibration so I am careful about any negative self talk.

You can write some positive affirmations on a dry erase board and hang it up in your home and speak it daily or you can just take the time to speak great things over yourself throughout the day. Does it work, ABSOLUTELY. You will began to manifest these feelings/emotions.

Here are a few of my own-

  • I am a great mother
  • I am a great wife
  • I am a great daughter
  • I am a great sister
  • I am a great friend
  • I am wealthy
  • I am loved
  • I am dependable
  • I am happy
  • I am unique
  • I am abundant
  • I am prosperous

This list goes on and on……

Take a moment after reading this blog and write a list of positive affirmations to speak over yourself daily.

7) Talk to Someone You Trust

It is always good to talk to someone about what you are feeling. In most cases, just being able to share your bundled up feelings with someone can relieve you and you can see and think clearer. Do not be afraid to tell someone what you are experiencing. They may can provide resources to help you.

8) Keep a Journal

In my case, keeping a journal has helped me a lot. I am able to write down my feelings and go on about my day. Keep  your journal in a safe hidden place if you do not want anyone to have access to it.

 

Did you know that there are also foods that can help ease your depression?

Combat your depression naturally by eating better!

Here are some “good mood” foods:

  1. Dark Leafy Greens
  2. Walnuts
  3. Berries
  4. Mushrooms
  5. Onions
  6. Tomatoes
  7. Beans
  8. Seeds
  9. Apples
  10. Avocados

Depression is serious. I chose to come out with my struggle of remaining in my happy place to show you that you can do it! Don’t let depression steal your life/your joy. This is easier said than done (trust me I know) but you have fight in you to get through this. You have more power than you think. Use it!

Do you struggle with depression?

Disclaimer: I am not a professional/doctor and I can not diagnose anyone with depression. This blog is to share how I naturally combat mine. 

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