How To Deal With Stress

Is stress taking a toll on your health?

With all the ups and downs of life, it is easy to become stressed. Stress can be the root cause for many diseases and can also make diseases worsen.

The body responds to stress by releasing stress hormones. These hormones make blood pressure, heart rate, and blood sugar levels go up. Long-term stress can help cause a variety of health problems, including: Mental health disorders, like depression and anxiety.


Just like everyone else, I have experienced many ups and downs in life. I have been depressed and did not know what my next best move would be. I would call my friends and family and pour my little heart out but still felt bad. Because of this, I began to deal with everything alone and became reclusive. We all know that dealing with things alone may not always be a good route to take but I did it. Since talking to others about my problems seemed to get me nowhere, I had to find ways to deal with my stress.

Before I get into how I deal with stress, I would like to share with you how it affected me tremendously. While stressing about things that I could not control, I noticed change (for the worse) in my body. I began to have body aches, decreased appetite, constipation, I felt sluggish, I felt alone (depressed), my eczema on my hands worsened and people began to ask me what happened to them. No matter how much cream I put on my hands or herbal concoctions, I still had the worse eczema flare on my hands.

I also began to experience anxiety. The feeling of your heart racing and shallow breathing is scary all within itself. I felt like any moment (while experiencing those episodes) I would die. I kept how I felt (anxiety) from my husband most of the time because I did not want to worry him.

Stress took a major toll on my body. This person today – who incorporates techniques- still is not completely clear of stressful situations. The only difference is that I know how to nip it in the butt before it gets the best of me. I do not know about you, but I do not have time to let stress take me out. How is my husband going to explain to our children that Mama could not handle life, so she let it get the best of her and her body followed suit? Hell no! I am not going out like that. You may not have children, so you may say, “well I do not have kids that will miss me”. You have someone who loves you whether you know it or not. You will be missed by someone!

Since losing my life to stressful situations is not going to fly, I began to incorporate techniques into my daily life to help me prevent and/or deal with stressful situations.


1. Meditation

Meditation is the act of sitting quietly and breathing. It calms the mind and aids you in centering yourself. Meditation is number one on my list because it has changed my life. It has helped me to see things clearer and have a different perspective.

To meditate, find a quiet place – at work, home, in nature, in your car, wherever- and close your eyes. Take some deep breaths and just be. Your mind may feel too busy to just be but the more you meditate, you will notice that your thoughts will no longer overwhelm you.

When I first started meditating I could only sit for five minutes. Now I can sit as long as I desire. Focus on your breathing and just observe all thoughts that come to mind. No need to do anything about them, just observe.




2. Spending Time in Nature

Did you know that nature is the original medicine? Oh….Well, with all the synthetics and chemicals that have saturated our world today, this truth has found itself hidden. There are many who research the medicinal properties of nature (like myself) and we understand how powerful nature is. Did you know that some prescription medications derived from nature? Yep! It sure did. Just taking a walk-in nature is very relaxing and calming. Try it. Turn off your phone or put it on silent and take a nice long walk in nature. See don’t you come out with a “I’m good now” attitude and rightfully so because ALL IS WELL!





3. Journaling/Writing

I feel so relieved after writing things down and going on about my day. If you do not want to write, then record. Me personally, I get loss in my words when I am recording but if I am writing then it just flows. I dump everything that I am feeling onto the paper and I feel so much better. Things do not seem so bad after all.




4. Attitude of Gratitude

Yes, I said it! You should have an attitude of gratitude because things could always be worse. You may say, how can you tell me things can be worse. I am a woman who was losing everything (home, cars, etc.) silently while still encouraging my friends. I remember one time during a low point in my life one of my friends called me and she was crying and upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she stated that she had no spending money after paying all her bills. Instead of telling her that I was losing everything (due to decrease in income in our home), I encouraged her and told her that at least her bills are paid. I encouraged her to manifest increase rather than being down about her situation. I encouraged her to have an attitude of gratitude. I was crying inside myself about my own situation, but I knew that things could always be worse.

I eventually shared with my friend what all I had been through and all she could do was look at me and say, “I don’t see how you can be so strong and level headed when you are going through”. I looked at that time like a lesson. Obviously, I did not learn enough because I found myself homeless a little over one year later after things began to get better for my family. I learned my lesson then and began to make different decisions with my money, time and lifestyle. My children did not ask me to birth them into this world and I needed to provide a more stable home/living for them. I had to get my s*** together. You can fill in the blank. I know, I know, you may be shaking your head because I cursed but I DO CURSE and curse words get the point across. Did it not catch your attention? Lol!

Look at all the things that you do have and focus less on what you do not have. It works! Thank me later!




5. Spend Time with Supportive People

Why don’t you take your loved ones up on the invite to come over or go out for dinner? If you are anything like me, it can be hard pretending to be happy, so you dodge people. I get it, trust me I do. The reality is, there needs to be balance. If we spend too much alone time, we can find ourselves sinking into deep depression over our stressful situations. Spend time with a POSITIVE loved one to take you mind off things for a few. I reiterate POSITIVE because this is no time to have pity parties. This does nothing for your situation.

What are some ways that you deal with stress?



Bacon Grease

sabrina posts

Sabrina Sainthilaire

Lady In The Wilderness

Smoothie and bacon living…..inspiration

Bacon Grease

When I was younger, the thought of cooking bacon was the same as the thought of receiving a spanking. I would suit up and wrap myself in so much clothing to avoid the sting of the bacon grease when it popped so unforgivably onto any exposed part of my skin. Sometimes I would feel as though it was the pig’s way of paying us back for supporting its slaughter. Whatever the reason, the only pain I knew was the pain of my parent’s disappointment, the whooping I received because of it, and the popping of bacon grease. Such innocence introduced to the small things that interrupted my euphoria of irresponsibility.

As I grew older and fell into the many struggles of my life such as homelessness, deployments, child birth, marriage, abuse, divorce, and single parenting the sting of bacon grease remained the same. But something changed, I was no longer afraid of it. No matter my attire I could stand confidently over the grill, the tinge of my skin would only be acknowledged and prepped to receive its next point of contact. Its assault would sometimes cause me to reminisce on things that caused me worse infliction on my soul. Thus, I realized that bacon grease had only reminded me of how far I’ve come, the reason why I am the woman that I have become, and my ability to overcome all things through Christ… My tolerance to the pains of my life has given me the ability to almost immediately overcome things that hurt me mentally, physically, and emotionally.


Natural Woman


by Sabrina Sainthilaire –

You make me feel…you make me feel…you make me feel like a natural woman…woman… If anyone remembers this song you are an 80’s baby that experienced some good times watching your Mother sing the words to this song while revealing bits of her most confident self! Well, at least this was my experience with the song. However, I found myself singing this song today! Yes, I found myself feeling my most confident, my most natural, my most beautiful. Why? Well, that’s easy! Because I can look in the mirror and SEE!!! I can see who God has created in His image! I can see myself again! Lol…yes, I lost myself for a minute. Caring too much about what others think while also feeling that no matter what I did, who I was, or how I appeared would never – ever- be good enough! Through my eyes, however, it seemed as if everyone else was perfect! Make-up without flaw, attire without wrinkle, shoes without scuff, hair made-up without effort! Yet, when I looked at myself… my eyes could never be satisfied because I could never truly see – ME!

The wonderful thing about blogging is that I get to tell you how I got to this point…this point of confidence! Here goes nothing!

Natural woman in the making! Mirror observation…“When I looked in the mirror I would only see my flaws.” – Rose Lady

  • FACE –I would notice a blemish before noticing the beautiful skin it lies on, I would notice an unwanted hair before I notice the beautiful freckle it sat on, I would notice an untamed lash before I noticed the almond shaped eye it protected, I would notice open pores before I noticed the golf-ball shaped nose that the Lord so humorously blessed me with! But then to top it all off, I would cover it all with make-up and become another person before I could truly appreciate who I was!
  •  BODY – As I observed my body I would only see the battles that it has endured. The pains of breakups, insecurities, misuses, scars from laboring in the workforce, the births of my children, so on and so forth. I would be so quick to cover it up, thus, feeling complete. But why did it have to take a nice outfit or get-up to make me feel that I had a nice body! Instead of recognizing the beauty underneath, I was depending on material and worldly things to validate my body before I would validate it myself in its natural form! In addition to this travesty, I would wear clothes that I would need to squeeze into! This would help me force a figure that I did not have, appear to be something that I was not, and feel better about the fact that I could still fit into these smaller clothes. This further ruined my body because the fabrics were cutting into my skin, decreasing circulation to certain areas if I sat the wrong way, and attracting unwanted/unwelcome attention. Plus, I WAS NEVER COMFORTABLE!
  • HAIR – My poor hair has been the most abused of all three. Growing up I always wanted hair like someone else. No matter who else, just as long as it was anyone else. For the longest I wanted my elder sisters hair, even now she is commonly known as Naturalista4me! I love her to death, however, her hair is one to envy. I have chopped my hair off, kept it in braids for a solid year, quick-weaved it, sewed it, burned it (relaxer), and kept it undercover (wig)! I could never be satisfied… When I looked in the mirror, I was never satisfied with my hair…never.

Natural woman in the making! The Change…

“It took me to make a dramatic change, something new, something undiscovered and embrace it until I liked it!” – Rose Lady

  1. I returned natural – mind, body, and soul
  2. I no longer cut my hair, permed my hair, or tied my hair down.
  3. I no longer took a razor or wax to my brows
  4. I no longer applied make-up…even for special occasions
  5. I no longer wore smaller clothes that made me uncomfortable – yes – I went up two sizes!
  6. I invested in moisturizers that were safe for my skin
  7. I invested in oils that would bring out my hairs natural spiral
  8. I started reciting inspirational and uplifting words to strengthened my self-confidence
  9. I started embracing my body and gradually I started to see beauty above flaw
  10. I chose to see myself as God has saw me from the beginning, this had to begin with forgiving myself for all things that distanced me away from God.

Natural woman in the making! The Result…

“I felt like a new original, an untouchable beauty, someone that no longer blended into artificial society”- Rose Lady

These changes started to reflect positively on my Spirits. It was as if I had become plugged in to a source of ongoing security. My blemishes were minimized and actually accentuated my face, my unibrow was annoying – I must admit – but my eyebrows were gorgeous in it’s natural shape, my skin was starting to heal from the maltreatment of harsh chemicals and the wear of clothes that pinched and rubbed beyond comfort! I became comfortable in my own skin! So, to sum this up, the things I gained from this transformation were…

Don’t concern yourself with the things other people say!

They don’t know you, your background, your circumstances, and they don’t know what makes you happy

Find yourself

  • FACE – If you like make-up, cool, but don’t wear it to cover what it is that you don’t like. Embrace the flawed part of you, become comfortable with that part, and understand that God’s grace is sufficient for you! After I allowed my face to go bare for a while, I decided on lip gloss and eye liner in the end. That is all I wanted! I rarely cover my marks and only pluck out the “UNI” part of my “BROW”.
  • BODY – Find your comfort style and embrace it, if you are a thick individual but admire tight-fitted clothing don’t buy your clothes small! You can buy your size clothing and it still holds that style. Then question, why is it that you wear such hugging attire? Is it for attention? Is it because you are still stuck on being smaller? Going through “The change” process will help you to answer these questions. I know that I have bought a cotton -stretch pencil skirt… it’s super cute, sexy, comfortable, and I can breathe!
  • HAIR – Give your hair a break! After my worldly detoxification process, I managed to grow my hair in abundance. My color grew almost completely out, I learned so many new styles and was showered in compliments because of it! To ‘fro it out was my go-to. Becoming comfortable with your afro is the hardest, so this is important for you to master – thus resulting in the full acceptance of your hair’s natural beauty, boldness, and strength.

I grew more in my spirituality

  • Whether it was the lack of attention I was paying to other areas of my life or that God was steadily reaching out to me, I noticed that I felt more connected to his love than ever before! Untainted on the outside and developing on the inside.

It’s time for you to feel like a natural woman!!! Please comment below and tell me a bit about your thoughts on transformation, the process of your transformation, and the result!

Lady In The Wilderness is an all out life on speed dial site that covers topics on faith, family, finances, struggles, depression, military-related issues, and anything else you can think of from a small-town country apple dipped in city living caramel perspective!!

Naturally Combat Depression

Depression is something that many suffer from and sadly some suffer in silence. According to the World Health Organization (WHO), 350 million people worldwide suffer from depression.

I am one of those who suffers in silence when it hits me. It is easy to put on a face that everything is OK when you are down inside. Imagine how many public figures are smiling their way through their day like everything is OK when things are far from OK.

I have been in contact with many that suffer from this and it can disable you.

Depression statistics infographic

I find myself getting frustrated about things all the while still assisting people with their problems. I get overwhelmed and feel as though I can never get anything done (unfinished projects), nothing goes right for me, no one cares about my happiness and the thoughts go on. I then shut down my social media platforms or simply ignore my notifications because I was not in the mood to interact with people. I was not in the mood to pretend that everything was ok. I have never been clinically diagnosed but when I notice that I am slipping into a depressed state I do a few techniques to help me get back to normal that do not consist of medications.

1: Breathe & Breathe Again

Yes, breathing techniques work great for me. When I find myself drifting further away from my happy place, I close my eyes and began to take deep breaths. This allows me to slow down my breathing and heart rate and I can just be for a moment. Many times after this is done I am able to press on and not get in a Debbie downer state.

 2: Spend Time With Nature

I have a natural love for nature and it is also a healing mechanism. In nature everything is right. It is peaceful and there is no rush of life. There is  no complaining and high expectations. There are no arguments and deadlines. There are no attitudes coming from plants that have had a bad day. There are no bill collectors or sales representatives hounding you about what you owe or if you would like to start a new account.

If you would shut off your mobile device and just be in nature, it is very calming and you will feel renewed.

3) Meditation

Meditation is a must for me. The explanation of meditation is a state of deep peace that occurs when the mind is calm and silent.

A Typical Meditation

1. Sit upright in a straight-backed chair, with your spine about an inch from the back of the chair, and your feet flat on the floor.

2. Close your eyes. Use your mind to watch your breath as it flows in and out. Observe your sensations without judgment. Do not try to alter your breathing.

3. After a while your mind will wander. Gently bring your attention back to your breath. The act of realizing that your mind has wandered – and bringing your attention back – is the key thing.

4. Your mind will eventually become calm.

5. Repeat every day for 20-30 minutes.

As busy as my mind is, this still works for me and I find myself being back in my happy place.

4) Exercise

When you have anxiety or depression, exercise often seems like the last thing you want to do. But once you get motivated, exercise can make a big difference.

How does exercise help combat depression?

Regular exercise can ease depression in a number of ways, which may include:
  • Releasing feel-good brain chemicals that may ease depression (neurotransmitters, endorphins and endocannabinoids)
  • Reducing immune system chemicals that can worsen depression
  • Increasing body temperature, which may have calming effects
  • Gain confidence. Meeting exercise goals or challenges, even small ones, can boost your self-confidence. Getting in shape can also make you feel better about your appearance.
  • Take your mind off worries. Exercise is a distraction that can get you away from the cycle of negative thoughts that feed anxiety and depression.
  • Get more social interaction. Exercise and physical activity may give you the chance to meet or socialize with others. Just exchanging a friendly smile or greeting as you walk around your neighborhood can help your mood.
  • Cope in a healthy way. Doing something positive to manage anxiety or depression is a healthy coping strategy. Trying to feel better by drinking alcohol, dwelling on how badly you feel, or hoping anxiety or depression will go away on its own can lead to worsening symptoms.

I do not exercise as often as I should but when I do I love the way I feel afterwards. I recently began exercising a lot more. It is going to take discipline just like anything else in life. We can do this!

5) Reading                                    

I love to read! I enjoy reading everything from love stories, dramas, thrillers, history, business and marketing and more.

Reading calms me and allows me to learn and experience many different emotions and because of this I am no longer worried about any current problems. I become the characters (sometimes) and sometimes I am taking notes.

I prefer to read over watching TV. Unfortunately, there are too many subliminal programming techniques on television that controls your behavior. The last thing I need is to receive overloads of subliminal messages that send me into an unhappy state of mind. Subliminal programming is very REAL.

6) Speak Positive Affirmations

I believe I may be the positive affirmation Queen of my castle. My children can tell you that I am always speaking positive things over my life as well as others. No matter how I feel, I practice I AM positive affirmations into the Universe. I do believe in law of attraction and vibration so I am careful about any negative self talk.

You can write some positive affirmations on a dry erase board and hang it up in your home and speak it daily or you can just take the time to speak great things over yourself throughout the day. Does it work, ABSOLUTELY. You will began to manifest these feelings/emotions.

Here are a few of my own-

  • I am a great mother
  • I am a great wife
  • I am a great daughter
  • I am a great sister
  • I am a great friend
  • I am wealthy
  • I am loved
  • I am dependable
  • I am happy
  • I am unique
  • I am abundant
  • I am prosperous

This list goes on and on……

Take a moment after reading this blog and write a list of positive affirmations to speak over yourself daily.

7) Talk to Someone You Trust

It is always good to talk to someone about what you are feeling. In most cases, just being able to share your bundled up feelings with someone can relieve you and you can see and think clearer. Do not be afraid to tell someone what you are experiencing. They may can provide resources to help you.

8) Keep a Journal

In my case, keeping a journal has helped me a lot. I am able to write down my feelings and go on about my day. Keep  your journal in a safe hidden place if you do not want anyone to have access to it.


Did you know that there are also foods that can help ease your depression?

Combat your depression naturally by eating better!

Here are some “good mood” foods:

  1. Dark Leafy Greens
  2. Walnuts
  3. Berries
  4. Mushrooms
  5. Onions
  6. Tomatoes
  7. Beans
  8. Seeds
  9. Apples
  10. Avocados

Depression is serious. I chose to come out with my struggle of remaining in my happy place to show you that you can do it! Don’t let depression steal your life/your joy. This is easier said than done (trust me I know) but you have fight in you to get through this. You have more power than you think. Use it!

Do you struggle with depression?

Disclaimer: I am not a professional/doctor and I can not diagnose anyone with depression. This blog is to share how I naturally combat mine.