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Inspiration

Know When It Is Time to Let Go

Are you someone who loves to help others? That is me wholeheartedly. If we are not careful, we can find ourselves helping TOO much. How can you help someone too much? By losing yourself in a person who is not trying to take the steps to help themselves.

I always see the best in people. Once I learn someone’s talents, my mind begins to think of all the ways they can utilize that talent to live the life they desire as well as help other people through their gift. I used to be quick to share these thoughts with individuals, but I quickly learned that my bombarding them with my visions did not help at all. Sometimes what we see in others they cannot see in themselves. We are looking at them from the outside and we do not have their thoughts and have not lived their life so what we see is different from what they may see.

I will ask questions to see where the person is at and if the energy/vibe is right, I may say a few things that is on my mind when it comes to their talents. I will ask questions like, “have you every thought about going to the American Idol”? Questions like this have planted fear in individuals who are subconsciously scared to death to come out of their situations. They want change, but change is also scary. It is so scary that they sometimes choose to stay in the situation because they at least know what that feels like – “comfort zone”.

You have those who will take the steps to change their circumstances and unfortunately you have those who will sit back and watch you do all the work and worrying. I do not know if they purposely do this or not and I do not wreck my brain about it anymore, however, the fact is they are sitting back and not putting as much or more work in for themselves as you are for them.

 
There are many who reach out to me and say they want to do this or that and want to know if I could assist them by guiding them and being a support system. I love, love, love to do this. In doing so I have had experiences where someone would contact me, and we would get the ball rolling but the only person that seems to be making progress towards their goals was me. I found myself searching day in and day out for resources for them. Sending message after message and link after link of information that is in alignment with what it is the person said they wanted to accomplish. Sometimes I send articles. Sometimes these ladies or gentlemen would ask me to explain the article -and this is fine- but they wouldn’t read it themselves.

 
Know When It Is Time To Let Go (1)

We are supposed to help each other but we are not supposed to live other people’s lives for them. We are supposed to HELP. If you don’t want to read an article in your niche that is teaching you how to start the business you say you want to start, then that makes me wonder if you really want to achieve your goals after all. See, my life matters too. Whether you have a busy schedule like myself or not, we do not have time on this earth to waste achieving other people’s goals for them. I can’t sing the song for you if you are the one gifted with the voice. There is only so much I can possibly do. They either want it or they do not. We should not have to beg someone to read an article that can better them or attend FREE events that can help them achieve their goals. We should not have to beg someone to get out of bed early to jump on their goals or beg them to take any steps at all.

There comes a time when you must recognize things for what it is and take your hands off the situation. This is not to say that you should be mean in any way to that person or cut them off completely. I am saying that you should be wise in these kinds of situations because if you do not it can consume you-it happened to me a few times.

I do check ins for accountability on those whom I am helping. If I ask someone did they do something, and they always have a reason as to why they could not or did not, this is a big red flag to me. Everyone can find time in their day – even it is just five minutes- to work on something pertaining to their goals. You may need to get up a little earlier or go to bed a little later, but everyone can make time in their day to work towards their goals.

I am a mother of four, a wife, an entrepreneur and my time to work on my business is very limited. I must write my blog posts sometimes with chaos all around me. I have had my days of where my kids have deleted my hard work and have drawn squiggles on my important paperwork. When my husband comes home I must help him in anyway that I can as he has had a very long day. Sometimes I can’t make it to events because I do not have a sitter or must accommodate my husband and kids schedules with appointments, etc. Sometimes I can’t afford to attend things that many people invite me too because I have other obligations, so I can’t be present when they are looking forward to seeing me.

These are just some of the things that take place in my life. I could use them as an excuse not to do something towards my goals, but my passion and drive will not let me do that. I have a very clear vision and most of all I genuinely LOVE what I do. I look forward to getting up everyday and doing what it is I do. I love helping others.

One must pay attention to the signs when you are trying to help someone who will not put in work to help themselves.

So how do I go about backing away from these individuals? I just back away. Point, blank, period. These individuals have never asked me why because the truth is they know exactly why – within. These people still contact me to ask me how I am doing but they have stopped asking for my assistance on their own. Your time is precious. You have the right to treat it as such!

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Accomplishing Goals As A Mother? Yea Right!

I am sitting here typing this as my four-year-old son is sitting at the end of my bed. He has been waking up earlier than usual and early is when I like to meditate because the house is quiet. He has been changing the game on that. When he hears me coming up the hallway or walking down the stairs, he jumps up out of the bed and is ready for breakfast. Here I am nowhere near ready to whip out the pots. It throws me off to jump into my day without meditating first.

My other children sleep in late unless it is a school day. Now I must find a way- that’s life. As a mother sometimes, our plans and routines may have to change for the sake of our children. This within itself can discourage many parents and my mother is a great example of this. My mother wanted to do so many things in life and she had five children. She began to work her butt off to provide and this work was not within her talents. My mother can sew very well, crochet, paint, do hair and she writes. I remember (as a child) my mother going to work, getting home, cooking then locking herself in the room to rest. Boy did I hate it when my mother would close up in that room. I found myself doing that sometimes with my children and had to find balance because I know how I felt when my Mom would close up in the room for hours. I hated talking through a locked closed door to her with a passion.

(oh my gifts!)

Now that I am a mom I can understand that me time is needed to get your mind right, but I do not need so much me time that I am not actively involved with my children. Balance is very important!

I am a YouTube blogger, so I try my best to upload a video as often as I can. My children do not be quiet long enough for me to get a recording in sometimes. Sometimes I spend a full day trying to record a good video because I am stopping and doing this and that when my children are around. So, you may say, what about when they are in school? When they are in school I have from 9a-2:30p to do everything that I need to do (kid free). That really isn’t that much time, but it will not be an excuse. I will find the time for sure to do more of what I love to do. It is not a reason to just say forget it. Because I am a mother doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. Just because I am a wife doesn’t mean that I need to forget about my purpose. We can get so caught up in these “roles” that we put a halt to what we really desire to do in life.

My mother once said to me that if it were not for her having us (my siblings and I), she would have been on a different path in life, achieving her goals. Maybe her path would have been better-or worse. After this statement I began to look at her like I was a problem because I was born. My huge heart would not let me forgive myself for being born and causing so much hold up in my Mom’s life. How does one live with the regrets of being born? For me, I just disconnected and found a way to co-exist. She may not have intended to hurt my feelings in such a way, but this is a lesson that I am able to apply as I am very careful about what I say to my children.

I am an entrepreneur and I have four children. Yes, it can be difficult because you must provide for your children, spend time, teach and be all those things that a mother is to her child. I get it, I really do. I have had to quit jobs due to no babysitter or not being able to afford it. I was working basically to cover sitter expenses it seemed.

I have had to go weeks without uploading a video because I couldn’t get in hours of quiet time for whatever reason. This may have thrown me off schedule during those times, but I did not give up. I kept going by other means. If I can’t do a video, then I can surely do something else! I have a video on my YouTube channel where I had to completely mute out my background noise because my kids were playing, and I was doing a hair tutorial. I added music and annotations and you basically just watched me style my hair and read the directions. I made a way. There is always a way to keep working towards your vision.

I never wanted to have children, but I did. They are here, and I do not regret them. I looked into my 12-year-old daughter’s eyes last night and told her she is one of the best things that could have ever happened in my life. I told her that her and her siblings mean the world to me. I had my first child at 20. If you are younger than this and have a child, just know that you still have a very bright future ahead of you. I work around my children and/or involve them in what I have going on so that I can keep a close connection to them.

Do my children hold me up from achieving my goals? No. The only person that can hold me up from achieving my goals is me. My children will not be my excuse for giving up on my goals. They are the WHY in why achieving my goals is very important for their well-being. I am breaking generational curses, mental bondage’s and blockages. I am not passing on things to my children and their children and so on that does not serve them if I can help it.  My mother has not lived a life doing what she loves. She is still living so she can! I do not want to wait until I am older to start living. I do not want to wait until my children are grown before I am able to enjoy life doing what I love. I am done with the excuses.

My sisters are doing great things as well as my brother. My siblings and I are studying in career fields that help, encourage and/or heal people. We want to be of service to others. We all have children too!

(oh my gifts!) (1)

Before I end this posting I want to give you an update, I now have one child at the end of my bed and one lying next to me bumping my arm trying to get my attention and they are arguing about drinking water. My four year old has even “accidentally” kicked my computer as I have it on my lap. So, kids will be kids. Press on anyway! #noexcuse2018

How To Set The Tone of Your Day

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This post contains a link that will take you to another site. It is an affiliate link that this site will profit from.

 

I began doing something new this year and that is setting the tone for my day. There were some days when the alarm clock wasn’t set correctly, and I found myself jumping out of bed and right into getting the kids ready for school. Boy was those mornings hectic. I was aggravated, and the kids were getting aggravated with me. Lol!

I notice that on days when I can get up and have some quiet time I am able to take some deep breaths and express how grateful I am for all that is taking place in my life. I express how grateful I am for my family, supporters, my health and whatever else I can think of. Your list does not have to be long so if time is a concern I am sure you can think of at least one thing you are grateful for.

Having an attitude of gratitude first thing in the morning helps me to find more things to be grateful for throughout my day. Instead of looking at my kids in a state of aggravation because I am having to tell them to brush their teeth and get dressed over and over, I can look at them and just smile and say I am grateful that we have the things that we need for them to be able to brush their teeth and get dressed for the day.

 

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So, the aggravation becomes less, and the gratefulness kicks in. My shift in energy will rub off on the kids and everything falls right into place therefore it goes much smoother in getting them ready.

Recently my husband accepted a new job, so he must be to work before the kids have to catch the bus. At first, I was in my feelings because I didn’t want to walk to the bus stop everyday to take our youngest daughter. I was taking her to school until now. Little did I know that I would love it. This also helps me to set the tone of my day.

I wake up, take some deep breaths, express all that I am grateful for, get the children ready and walk my youngest daughter to the bus stop. The fresh air and beautiful scenery of the mountains early in the morning is amazing. My neighbors may think I am nuts for scrolling slowly back to the house while looking all around and smiling. I am truly amazed at the beauty of nature. Something that I thought I would hate doing in the morning turned out to be something that I look forward to. It is a great addition to my morning routine.
I challenge you to try it and take note of how your day goes. Was it easy peasy? Did you handle situations better? I know if I go a day without setting my tone I will not deal with things the same. It just seems so much harder. I enjoy being chill, worrying less and reducing the stress!

How do you set the tone for your day?

 

Qwania

Are You Stuck In A Victim Mindset?

I Am Not A Victim

This post contains a link that will direct you to another site to purchase. The product available for purchase is created by myself (Naturalista4me) and spouse (Evans Dixon).

Having a victim mindset will not help me to heal and darn sure does not help me to grow. There are those people who learn from their stories and then there are those who are drowning in their stories. Some people cannot find a way to move on from the hurtful things of their past or deal with the hurtful things that may come their way in life.

Once you begin to look at things from a different perspective rather than, my life is terrible, I hate my life, the world is against me and anything within this low vibrational mindset, you can begin to do what is necessary to be happy despite.

With everything that I have experienced in life and am currently experiencing, I am able to look back over my past and see that I had problems then too. I made it through those problems and here I am today, standing tall, healthy and encouraged. In my past I had no idea how I would make it through, so I stressed about every little thing. Guess what?! I made it through. Was stressing worth it? Is putting my health at risk worth it?

It was only until this year that I begin to change my mindset from being a victim. I feel so much better! I used to share my stories (everyone has one) and it would depress me all over again. I used to play the blame game. So, and so hurt me. So, and so is not a good person. So, and so will get what is coming to them. Why would so and so hurt me? Why me? Why do I keep encountering obstacle after obstacle? What did I do to deserve this? So many questions and thoughts would mentally drain me.

I also had friends that would entertain my victim mindset and would sometimes even bring up my story to me if I was being too positive. Once I noticed that I would distance myself from that friend for a while. This may sound like a mean thing to do but I did not want to be constantly reminded of hurtful things.

Now when those friends bring up those things, I have learned to redirect the conversation. This way I do not have to distance myself. I am healed from my past and anything that comes at me now I know how to center myself and learn from it. Each situation brings its’ own set of emotions but I still know how to bring myself back to a state of gratefulness and understanding of what is taking place around me.

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I busy myself with things that make me happy. After all, all we really have is the now. If I find myself deep in thought about problems in life, I make myself snap out of it. One day when you are deep in thought about how terrible things are going in your life, observe how your body feels at that moment. How is your energy? What type of energy are you putting out into the universe at that time? Do you think these emotions will make your situation better or worse? If I am consumed in how terrible my life appears to be going, I will look for more things to add to the list of how terrible my life is. I have socks, but it isn’t the socks that I really want. I have food, but it isn’t the food that I really want. I have a car, but it isn’t the car that I want. This way of thinking takes you out of a state of gratefulness.

The old me would stress, sleep, eat and check out mentally. I did not want to be bothered. I ignored phone calls, knocks at the door, emails, texts and avoided going places where I might run into people who may ask me how I am doing. This person that I am today will feel myself getting down, so I immediately start doing something to bring me back to my happy place. This could be putting on some feel good music, dancing around alone or with my husband and kids, reading, writing, calling up a friend, going to the state parks to spend time in nature, going for a drive or whatever is needed to bring my vibration back up.

No one’s life is clear of obstacles. Because this is a fact, the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to learn to be happy anyway. Some people say, “I will be happy when I get rich”. What if I told you that there are rich people who are very unhappy. I recently read a book by Tony Robbins and he mentioned that there was a guy who was a billionaire and when he loss some money (he was still rich) he committed suicide. We shouldn’t wait until we have this or that to be happy.

Many years ago, I did a program called Mind over Money and I learned so much about my relationship with money. When I had a great flow of money I found myself having bad relationships with friends and family. I spoke over myself that I’d rather have just enough to get by so that I can have peace in my relationships. Because of this I began to subconsciously self-sabotage. I would pass up opportunities. I dimmed my light as I didn’t want to shine so bright to offend anyone.

Being that I had this to work on, it was easy for me to get consumed in problems of my past and do the blame game as to why past partnerships didn’t work out. In this, I can only blame myself, right? I created a lot of my past problems because of where my mind was at the time. I attracted a lot of foolery. 😜I allowed people to treat me all types of ways because of how I felt about myself. I allowed people to get over on me because I felt I would be OK (yea right). I can holler I am a victim all day, but I play a role in a lot of my past situations. See, we have more control over our happiness than we think.

Today I can see all of this clearly and it all makes perfect sense. While going through the things I have experienced I put so much fault on others. Some situations were fault of others and unfortunate, but I also played a role in many of my past situations. Being a “victim” made me vulnerable and naive.

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Instead of falling victim to my circumstances I now observe what is going on and take a good look at myself and how I play a role in it. I also look for ways for me to help myself. I ask myself, “what can I do now to make this better or to make sure it will not happen again?” Instead of doing the blame game or being consumed in the low vibration emotions, I acknowledge how I feel and look for a way to make it better.

As I look at those who fell out with me over money I must take responsibility for my part in enabling them by always coming to the rescue even when I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t know how to say no. I felt obligated and put myself last for those who didn’t appreciate me. They treated me like I owed it to them. I allowed that treatment by giving in every time something was needed or requested. I allowed them to disrespect me time and time again and I would still give because I felt pressured. I have learned how to say no, or I have other obligations. I have so much more respect now from those individuals. At first, they didn’t like it (of course) but I put my foot down and conquered the situation.

What about those people who have hurt you? They have moved on with their lives. We must find a way to forgive them and ourselves. Quit beating yourself up about what you should’ve, could’ve done. There isn’t anything that can be changed about it so there is no need to allow this heavy weight to carry on with you for the rest of your life. Take the steps to heal.

Some techniques that I use to heal are cord cutting, visualization, meditation, positive affirmations and spending time in nature. I will talk more in depth about these techniques in another blog post.

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Take back control of your life. You are not a victim. Get out of the victim mindset as it is an anchor. It keeps you down. Every time you revisit that situation in your mind it can cause you to become angry, stagnant and depressed. Get to a place where when you think about the situation you have a peace within you so that you do not fall victim to your circumstances.

You are not a victim, you are more than a conqueror!

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Journey of Healing | Interview with Vanessa Edgeston

I have been on a healing journey as I have made many changes in my life recently. I recently took a leap of faith that I truly believe is what I have manifested while in my healing process. When we are holding on to things, they can become very heavy. Whether that hurt is from our childhood or things that we experience throughout our day, we have to find a way to heal so that we can live a fulfilled life.

As I was browsing my Instagram I came across a lady that captivated me. I scrolled past her picture but found myself searching for her picture again as it was something about it- her energy. I decided to visit her Instagram page to learn more about her and that is when I discovered that she too was on a journey of healing. I guess it is safe to say that I saw my reflection in her and that is why the pull was so strong.

I reached out to her and asked her if she would be willing to share more about her journey and she was happy to do so. I am so grateful for that.

She is known on Instagram as @phoenixrising1993  @victoriasflowerchild

 

” Hello Queen. What is your name and where are you originally from?”

My name is Vanessa and I am originally from Blue Mountain, Mississippi. I currently reside in Oregon.

 

“Are you on a journey to healing? Do you mind sharing what you are healing from?”

Yes. I have needed healing for a very long time but it wasn’t until last year when I began to focus on healing myself and to address all the pain I was feeling. The root of most of the pain stems from years of neglect and trauma that I endured during the first 21 years of my life.

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“I watched a video on your Instagram of you explaining that you became angry after being used by your fellow classmates as a teenager (the taking advantage of your giving spirit). You stated that as an adult you are able to give freely. How did you heal from not being able to trust people to the person you are today?”

When they took advantage of me, that really hurt my feelings. I became very selfish after that. I started only looking out for myself and only thinking about myself and that is not a peaceful or balanced way to live. I became very protective of my heart, but in doing so I was shutting a lot of people out. I realized that by shutting people out I was missing out on valuable opportunities to connect with others. Because selfishness and fear, I was creating a form of isolation to the spirit. I wanted my spirit to be truly free so I had to remove the hardness from my heart.

I healed because I learned the lessons from those circumstances. I realized that painful memories are mostly unlearned lessons.

When you learn the lesson, you release the pain. When you are no longer in pain, you are healed.

“Absolutely…..You also mentioned that you wrote a letter to your father, how did this help you to heal?”

When my dad Frank passed away I was happy that he was at peace and no longer suffering. His death sparked a lot of emotions and questions in my heart and mind. I asked myself what kind of daughter had I been. I felt guilty for not calling him as much as I could have. I regretted if he would always be around. I know that we all depart from this world…but I was not expecting to lose my father so soon.

Frank (My Dad ) & I

Frank and I

Frank is indeed my father, but he is not my biological father. I spent years hating my biological father for his abusive ways. When Frank came into my life he was the only source of fatherly love that I had known. I did not feel that kind of love from my biological father. I wrote to him and I told him everything I felt, and in my heart, I believe he heard me.

All my dad ever wanted from me was for me to know that I was loved.

I realized that if I live my life knowing that I am loved and build a life for myself that reflects all the love I have been given and all the love I must offer–then I will be doing exactly what he wanted me to do. And that is the best way I can honor his memory.

“Condolences to you for your loss.”

 

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You have beautiful pieces of wrapped stones on your Instagram. When did you begin making wrapped stones? What inspired it? What are the benefits of wrapped stones? How can they help in the healing process?”

I was 19 when I moved to Atlanta, GA. I lived there on and off for about a year. I was homeless for most of the time I was in Atlanta. During that time, I met many kinds of artists when I was on the streets.  One artist I met showed me how to make a simple wire wrap and that is when my love for wire wrapping began. When I went through a severe depression I lost all interest in art and everything else I was passionate about but when I began my healing journey I reconnected with the missing pieces of myself.

The part of myself that I had lost was my sense of creativity. I decided that I wanted that part of myself back, so I started wire wrapping again–and I am so thankful that I did.

I have grown and healed so much from making art again. Being in contact with so many different crystal energies has awakened parts of myself that I was unaware of.

I am still growing in awareness and discovering the power of all the beautiful stones I meet. I am a different person now than I was when I started wire wrapping again.

I am happier, more confident and less clouded by other people’s energies. I am less of others and more of myself and I am just getting started.

“In our most troubled times we can learn valuable lessons. Those lessons we can apply and use as we evolve. I have learned many lessons during troubled times. How we deal with those troubled times is what makes the difference in living a fulfilled life or having the mentality of defeat therefor we just exist.”

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“Stop giving a fuck. Stop being a people pleaser. Stop letting people walk all over you. Stop waiting for permission to love yourself. Speak your mind. Listen to your heart. Heal your wounds. Be fucking glorious!” -PhoenixRising1993

“If you had a conversation with someone today who is having a hard time trying to figure out their first step in healing and evolving, what would you tell them?”

I would ask them if they are living their dreams and if they are not I would ask them why. If they do not know why, then their first step towards evolving and healing would be to answer that question. If they do know why they are not living their dreams, then their first step would be for them to ask themselves what obstacles are blocking their path.

 

“Why is healing important?”

Healing is important because we can never rise to be who we were born to be if we are stuck in pain, fear, and toxicity.

 

 

“How can one embrace their emotions behind things, release and learn from them?”

You must accept that to heal and move beyond your pain is that you must face it.

You cannot numb yourself and pretend that the pain is not there AND heal at the same time. If you want health, you must let go of the sickness.

It is not an easy process in the beginning, but facing that pain makes you stronger. If you run from yourself, you will never find peace.

“I know all about pretending to be ok. I learned that I had to face those things in order to heal from them. I felt so much lighter after finally facing the things of my past. They no longer have power over me.”

 

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“How can one find balance in the midst of their storms?”

Know that storms exist to teach you about life as well as yourself. Know that storms will pass. Know that the more storms you survive the more resilient you become.

“Your Instagram page attracted me and I spend a good bit of time browsing your wrapped stones. How can one purchase a stone from you? If someone has a stone would you wrap it for them?”

Contact me. Let me know what colors you like. I can send you pictures of stones that I have available to be wrapped. My prices range, and I can work with any budget. I have wraps available for as low as $5. 🙂

If someone mailed me a stone to wrap for them I would happily do so.

“I am going to send you a few of mine for sure!”

“How can someone contact you about wrapped stones? Where can one purchase?”

You can email me vanessaedgeston1993@gmail.com

You can also contact me on Instagram @phoenixrising1993. Send me a message and I will respond to you as soon as I can.

Thank you Vanessa for sharing your journey with us!

Healing is very important and although it may not be easy to do so, it is worth it.

Qwania

 

 

How To Deal With Stress

Is stress taking a toll on your health?

With all the ups and downs of life, it is easy to become stressed. Stress can be the root cause for many diseases and can also make diseases worsen.

The body responds to stress by releasing stress hormones. These hormones make blood pressure, heart rate, and blood sugar levels go up. Long-term stress can help cause a variety of health problems, including: Mental health disorders, like depression and anxiety.

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Just like everyone else, I have experienced many ups and downs in life. I have been depressed and did not know what my next best move would be. I would call my friends and family and pour my little heart out but still felt bad. Because of this, I began to deal with everything alone and became reclusive. We all know that dealing with things alone may not always be a good route to take but I did it. Since talking to others about my problems seemed to get me nowhere, I had to find ways to deal with my stress.

Before I get into how I deal with stress, I would like to share with you how it affected me tremendously. While stressing about things that I could not control, I noticed change (for the worse) in my body. I began to have body aches, decreased appetite, constipation, I felt sluggish, I felt alone (depressed), my eczema on my hands worsened and people began to ask me what happened to them. No matter how much cream I put on my hands or herbal concoctions, I still had the worse eczema flare on my hands.

I also began to experience anxiety. The feeling of your heart racing and shallow breathing is scary all within itself. I felt like any moment (while experiencing those episodes) I would die. I kept how I felt (anxiety) from my husband most of the time because I did not want to worry him.

Stress took a major toll on my body. This person today – who incorporates techniques- still is not completely clear of stressful situations. The only difference is that I know how to nip it in the butt before it gets the best of me. I do not know about you, but I do not have time to let stress take me out. How is my husband going to explain to our children that Mama could not handle life, so she let it get the best of her and her body followed suit? Hell no! I am not going out like that. You may not have children, so you may say, “well I do not have kids that will miss me”. You have someone who loves you whether you know it or not. You will be missed by someone!

Since losing my life to stressful situations is not going to fly, I began to incorporate techniques into my daily life to help me prevent and/or deal with stressful situations.

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1. Meditation

Meditation is the act of sitting quietly and breathing. It calms the mind and aids you in centering yourself. Meditation is number one on my list because it has changed my life. It has helped me to see things clearer and have a different perspective.

To meditate, find a quiet place – at work, home, in nature, in your car, wherever- and close your eyes. Take some deep breaths and just be. Your mind may feel too busy to just be but the more you meditate, you will notice that your thoughts will no longer overwhelm you.

When I first started meditating I could only sit for five minutes. Now I can sit as long as I desire. Focus on your breathing and just observe all thoughts that come to mind. No need to do anything about them, just observe.

 

 

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2. Spending Time in Nature

Did you know that nature is the original medicine? Oh….Well, with all the synthetics and chemicals that have saturated our world today, this truth has found itself hidden. There are many who research the medicinal properties of nature (like myself) and we understand how powerful nature is. Did you know that some prescription medications derived from nature? Yep! It sure did. Just taking a walk-in nature is very relaxing and calming. Try it. Turn off your phone or put it on silent and take a nice long walk in nature. See don’t you come out with a “I’m good now” attitude and rightfully so because ALL IS WELL!

 

 

 

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3. Journaling/Writing

I feel so relieved after writing things down and going on about my day. If you do not want to write, then record. Me personally, I get loss in my words when I am recording but if I am writing then it just flows. I dump everything that I am feeling onto the paper and I feel so much better. Things do not seem so bad after all.

 

 

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4. Attitude of Gratitude

Yes, I said it! You should have an attitude of gratitude because things could always be worse. You may say, how can you tell me things can be worse. I am a woman who was losing everything (home, cars, etc.) silently while still encouraging my friends. I remember one time during a low point in my life one of my friends called me and she was crying and upset. I asked her what was wrong, and she stated that she had no spending money after paying all her bills. Instead of telling her that I was losing everything (due to decrease in income in our home), I encouraged her and told her that at least her bills are paid. I encouraged her to manifest increase rather than being down about her situation. I encouraged her to have an attitude of gratitude. I was crying inside myself about my own situation, but I knew that things could always be worse.

I eventually shared with my friend what all I had been through and all she could do was look at me and say, “I don’t see how you can be so strong and level headed when you are going through”. I looked at that time like a lesson. Obviously, I did not learn enough because I found myself homeless a little over one year later after things began to get better for my family. I learned my lesson then and began to make different decisions with my money, time and lifestyle. My children did not ask me to birth them into this world and I needed to provide a more stable home/living for them. I had to get my s*** together. You can fill in the blank. I know, I know, you may be shaking your head because I cursed but I DO CURSE and curse words get the point across. Did it not catch your attention? Lol!

Look at all the things that you do have and focus less on what you do not have. It works! Thank me later!

 

 

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5. Spend Time with Supportive People

Why don’t you take your loved ones up on the invite to come over or go out for dinner? If you are anything like me, it can be hard pretending to be happy, so you dodge people. I get it, trust me I do. The reality is, there needs to be balance. If we spend too much alone time, we can find ourselves sinking into deep depression over our stressful situations. Spend time with a POSITIVE loved one to take you mind off things for a few. I reiterate POSITIVE because this is no time to have pity parties. This does nothing for your situation.

What are some ways that you deal with stress?

 

My Move To My Dream Location

I am one who believes that you can manifest your hearts desires. I use many techniques-meditation, vision boards, mindset work, speaking positive affirmations and healing to align myself with the things that I desire.

My husband and I visited Tennessee for my birthday a couple of years ago and we both fell in love with it. My husband loves to sing and even got a chance to sing at BB King’s in Nashville, TN during one of our visits. I love the scenery as I am a nature lover.

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Photo taken by me at the Radnor Lake State Park in Nashville TN.

The more we visited the more we fell in love and finally decided that Tennessee would someday be our state of residency. There were many questions as we began to look for a home. Where do we start? Who do we have there who could help us with our children etc.? So many questions came across our minds and to be completely honest, it became stressful for me. One thing about relocating somewhere you do not know much about (like my country bumpkin hometown) you do not know what the neighborhood is like, school systems etc. We searched and searched and was at the point of saying maybe now is not the time.

We had also both applied for jobs in the area. This was another challenge as how do you work in another state when you have nowhere to rest your head at night. During this time of aggravation and feeling somewhat hopeless, I had to consistently work on my mindset work. I kept telling myself that the universe supports me and will work out all these details. I meditated every morning to clear my mind and set the tone for my day.

I began to detox my body using herbs so that I can be in better physical health and made my mind up that we were moving somehow. It felt right in my spirit and I decided to now worry myself with the details. We looked and looked from a far.

My husband and I had a long talk and we decided that it was time to jump and not worry about all the details. This was a time of faith. He had jobs that contacted him back and were asking him to come in for an interview. They worked with him because of our distance and waited on us to say when we would be in the area. My husband decided to call one of the employers back and told them we were coming to the area within the next few days. That interview was set and now we just had to find a home (just in case he got the job).  In my mind there was no just in case. I believed that the job was his already. He felt it, I believed it and guess what……HE GOT THE JOB ON THE SPOT. So now that was taken care of now we had to buckle down on a residence.

We browsed house after house, apartment after apartment and left message after message. We dealt with all kinds of scammers from craigslist texting us and emailing us requesting “holding monies” and the search went on and on.

I decided that we needed to incorporate some fun into our trip to Tennessee, so we held off on the house hunting for a bit and went out for a night of fun.

After the night was over we got up the next day and began our search again. We ran into a lot of “we need proof of income for the last 30 days” (for my husband). Our problem with that is that we were not living in Tennessee yet and my husband had not started work yet. Showing income from a whole different state definitely wasn’t going to work being he was not transferring. Keeping a positive mindset and attitude- my husband and I kept our search going.

We finally found a home that is perfect for our family and I must say I felt numb during the approval process.  I couldn’t believe that it was happening. I couldn’t wait to get home to tell our children that we were relocating. We now had 3 days to get our home packed up and hit the road to move into our new home.

Since we have been here it has been a breath of fresh air. No, I do not have any friends here, but I will meet some. My husband has a job that requires he travel throughout Tennessee, so he will learn the routes quicker than I will. That is OK, he can just chauffeur me, right? He loves driving me around (so he says). I personally think he just thinks he can drive better than me. Either way, I will enjoy the passenger side and enjoy the scenery along my ride.

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My youngest daughter and I on a nature trail.

I have been spending a lot of time in nature and just doing a major detox on my life. I have reevaluated many things in my life and I am at a place where the old ways were just not getting it. You can feel when it is time for change. As I began walking in my purpose- as I continue this journey to self-discovery, I feel whole and so much lighter. As big as my heart is, I easily carry so much weight of what others are going through and too often I would get lost in that. I am blessed to be that comfort for many but if you are anything like me, we must also take time to pour into our own cup.  My previous location didn’t have the scenery that I needed. It didn’t have the feel (vibration) that I needed to calm my mind (beautiful nature scenery). My escapes consist of lakes, river, mountains, springs, herbal stores and anything associated with nature. Where I am from my scenery consisted of wooded areas and ponds. I didn’t have much variety. Most of the ponds were private owned so you had to figure out who owned what so that you could just sit by the pond. Now, I have state parks and other locations to just breath in the fresh air as I stare at nature for miles ahead.

My stress level has gone down. My sleep pattern has changed. My mind is not cluttered. My vision is very clear. In life we must do what we need to do for the sake of our sanity so that we can continue to be healthy while being of service to the betterment of the world.

Naturalista4me

 

A More Natural Way Of Things

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Many in my local community, as well as those who follow my Facebook page, know that I am a lover of natural remedies. I have shared natural recipes on social media platforms that I use on my children, as well as myself for natural hair care; but it was only recently that I began to share a little more of the,”natural” concoctions that are used in our home.

I am a habitual researcher and I must say I thoroughly enjoy researching. I like to know what is in the products that I am using and how they will effect my hair, skin, and overall health. The more research I began to do, the more I began to discover things that I wish I knew a long time ago. Welp, no need to beat myself up about it now. When you know better, you do better! Right?! As long as you are living and breathing, it is never to late to take the time to look into the products that you are using on your family and yourself.

on-my-mind_featureWhipping up natural concoctions come naturally to me. If someone tells me they are having a problem with something, my mind automatically starts thinking of different herbs, oils, and other natural remedies that one could research themselves and try.

I truly believe that all we need is provided from nature. I have also learned that many medications that are prescribed, are derived from plants. Of course, more things are added to pharmaceutical drugs for different purposes which is why I personally choose to find a natural remedy if I can. I want to know what is in the pill I am taking.

I have a story that I want to share about a particular medication that was prescribed to me for a urinary tract infection. I have no idea how I got in that bad of condition, but I was given a catheter because I couldn’t use the restroom on my own. I was prescribed a very strong antibiotic – Keflex.  On the paperwork for this medication it stated that the side effects may include: upset stomach, diarrhea, vomiting, skin rash, itching, hives, difficulty breathing, wheezing, unusual bleeding or bruising, sore throat, painful mouth or throat sores, and/or vaginal infection.

I began to feel really out of it and could hardly walk. My legs were aching really bad, my heart was beating like a drum and I literally felt like I was just floating. I didn’t have balance and I really thought I was slowly dying. It was that Serious. I began to research the medicine that I was prescribed and came across a thread that was loaded with complaints about this medication.

I was having many of the same symptoms as the others and I knew I had to figure out something fast. I stopped taking the pills and began to incorporate more natural ways to flush my system. I purchased spring water and drank only spring water for two days. I also drank cranberry juice around the third day of being off the medication. I immediately began to feel better. I had a follow up appointment and the catheter was taken. My doctor did another test on me to check for infection and found nothing. She told me the medicine worked great. I told her I actually tossed the medication in the trash because of how it made me feel. She told me that my side effects were unusual. Unusual or not; I felt had I finished that bottle, I would be dead right now. It was just that serious. I felt it in my spirit that I was slipping away as I lay there in pain.

Flushing myself took discipline. By just drinking water and monitoring the foods that could irritate the urinary tract through research was definitely the right move. Research, research, research!

green smoothieI then began to get into detoxing the body. I drink green smoothies and detox via foot and bath. I make a detox blend that relaxes you while giving you many benefits. Detoxing foot soaks rid your body of toxins, increases circulation, soothes dry skin, aches and pains and so much more.

I thoroughly enjoy educating people on these products because I love them! I use them in my home and it is an absolute pleasure to share my knowledge with those who seek to learn more about detoxing the body. Caring for yourself by using more natural alternatives.

I must say, there are some people who will turn their nose up to natural remedies and will place anything on or in their bodies with no hesitation. This is a mindset that will take some time to reverse as you began to understand that you may be doing yourself more harm than good due to lack of knowledge.

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We must keep an open mind and not shy away from natural remedies. Definitely consult with your physician. (I do not claim to be a doctor) Make sure that what you want to try is safe. Research, research, research! I can not say this enough.

I created a Facebook page titled I Heart Natural Remedies to share many natural alternatives to products containing chemicals, prescription drugs, illnesses and so much more. You can incorporate these natural remedies into your everyday lifestyle for your family.

Natural hair care was my first focus. I have been sharing my natural hair journey for years. I quickly discovered that I can care for my hair on the outside, but I also must care for myself on the inside. There is a site I like to call Google University (Google), that will pull up fruits and veggies that you can consume to help your hair grow. It will also pull up eatable foods that you can apply to the hair for conditioning.

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I soon began to really look at the items we had in our kitchen, that I could use, to take better care of us. I eventually began to push the cough syrups and antibiotics to the side, and tried a more natural way for caring for my family and I. With extensive daily research, I began to whip up concoctions to care for my family. I use herbs, essential oils, clay, spices and more. I have been selling these items within my community and educating consumers on their many benefits. I am amazed at all who are trying to go a more natural route. They have tried many things (pharmaceutical), and now they are ready to go at it the more natural way.

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Bentonite Clay Hair & Face Mask | Bentonite Clay Foot Detox Soak

As for my extended family, they look at me like I have become some medicine woman. For others, they don’t know how to feel about me honestly!

I was in a grocery store recently. I picked up a bottle of Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar. A lady walked up to me and she asked me; “Are you using it for weight loss?” Now I must say, I do not need to lose any weight. My first thought was, “Woman you don’t see that I am already small enough?!” I am not really tiny but I sure do not need to lose any weight. I’d rather gain! I told her that I use it for hair and body health. The look she gave me was priceless! There I was in the grocery store sharing with her the many ways that I use apple cider vinegar in our home.

It is to the point now, if someone sees me purchasing coconut oil, avocado’s, etc., they assume that I am whipping up a natural concoction that I wouldn’t be eating. I do consume avocado in my green smoothies and have cooked with coconut oil as well, but I also use them externally along with many other things.

I was accepted into the college of American Healthcare Sciences. Soon, I would like to travel and learn abroad. I am studying to be a Master Herbalist and Holistic Health Practitioner.

 

With the internal changes that I have made, I have noticed great external results. Glowing skin and healthy growing hair. I am more energetic and grateful for life than ever before!

We can work on our outer-selves by applying products that promise us great results; but we can not neglect our inner-selves in the process. We can not close our eyes to what we are putting on our skin and in our bodies that can cause illnesses/disease. There has to be balance in mind, body, and soul for you to be your absolute best self!

 

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Bacon Grease

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Sabrina Sainthilaire

Lady In The Wilderness

Smoothie and bacon living…..inspiration

Bacon Grease

When I was younger, the thought of cooking bacon was the same as the thought of receiving a spanking. I would suit up and wrap myself in so much clothing to avoid the sting of the bacon grease when it popped so unforgivably onto any exposed part of my skin. Sometimes I would feel as though it was the pig’s way of paying us back for supporting its slaughter. Whatever the reason, the only pain I knew was the pain of my parent’s disappointment, the whooping I received because of it, and the popping of bacon grease. Such innocence introduced to the small things that interrupted my euphoria of irresponsibility.

As I grew older and fell into the many struggles of my life such as homelessness, deployments, child birth, marriage, abuse, divorce, and single parenting the sting of bacon grease remained the same. But something changed, I was no longer afraid of it. No matter my attire I could stand confidently over the grill, the tinge of my skin would only be acknowledged and prepped to receive its next point of contact. Its assault would sometimes cause me to reminisce on things that caused me worse infliction on my soul. Thus, I realized that bacon grease had only reminded me of how far I’ve come, the reason why I am the woman that I have become, and my ability to overcome all things through Christ… My tolerance to the pains of my life has given me the ability to almost immediately overcome things that hurt me mentally, physically, and emotionally.

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My Retreat To Fearlessly Loving Your Yoni Presents Rose Quartz Yoni Egg On Tybee Island

April 1, 2017 I attended a retreat on Tybee Island. This retreat was life changing for me as I met some beautiful spirits. I didn’t know exactly what to expect so I went without any expectations. I must say it was so worth it.

In keeping it completely real with you’ll, I almost canceled. Things were not quite lining up for me the closer it got to time to leave for the retreat but my husband told me that I should go and stop trying to talk myself out of going. Talking myself out of doing things for myself is so easy to do but I am working on that. I have to stop feeling guilty about taking care of me. You can pour into others all day but you have to pour into yourself as well.

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One of my friends also attended the retreat so the weeks leading up to it was interesting. We were trying to figure out what we should or should not take. We where provided a list of what to bring but as women we must always be so extra. Ok, maybe not all but we did put a lot of thought into what we should wear and even did a little shopping.

I ended up just purchasing the yoga gear needed for the retreat and my friend bought me a dress in which I didn’t wear but will save for a later time. Surprisingly I packed light.

We arrived to our destination early so we decided to head to the beach and wait until it was time to meet up with the other sisters. We hung out on the beach for awhile, took pictures and watched the waves. We didn’t get into the water. My friend wanted to run in but decided not to as we did not want to meet up with the other ladies soak and wet. They probably wouldn’t have cared but we had no idea what was on the agenda for the day.

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Once it was time to meet with the other ladies, we proceeded to the gate of the area where we were staying. The gates opened and we were in! The first thing I noticed once inside the gate was all the nature and sand.

I am a true nature lover so that was enough to get me excited. We parked and met up with two ladies that were standing next to a common area building. They welcomed us and gave us some Florida Water to cleanse ourselves of negative energy. My friend and I conversed with the two ladies for awhile and eventually got our luggage and picked our beds.

After picking our beds, we waited in the common area/building for the other ladies to arrive.

During this time I was taking everything in. I could hear the birds and smell the water. I looked around and observed our surroundings and it was so peaceful.

We indulged in some delicious vegan cupcakes, fruit, zucchini bread and water. Who ever knew that eating healthy could be so delish! Our cuisine was vegetarian/vegan the whole retreat.

After getting our bellies full, my friend and I decided to go hang out by the water until everyone got there. We took a few selfies and conversed about life. Another lady joined us by the water and we conversed about food and the health benefits of certain foods or lack there of. She was so hilarious to me. The way she talked and her bubbly personality. This lady was the true definition of real. She says what is on her mind and I love it!

1491077603529 149107750291717622129_171005403418847_6010746822122041970_oMore ladies began to join us throughout the day. My friend had wondered off to connect with the other ladies as I was doing the same. I eventually found her sitting on a dock with two other ladies. I joined them and watched as the water flowed beneath our feet and the crabs crawled in and out of the sand.

We stayed on the dock for awhile. By the time we left the dock, my feet were feeling wrinkly. IMG_20170401_160959

We eventually all met in one place to enjoy dinner and converse.

1491094719719We had a very emotional night as we surrounded a campfire. We were told to write down on a piece of paper what we would like to release from ourselves so that we can move forward and we threw that paper in the fire. Afterwards, we talked about other things and it definitely brought tears to my eyes because I am personally working on some blockages.

 

My sisters embraced me. The love I received was amazing. These ladies did not even know me long yet they expressed so much love to me.

After eating smores and conversing by the campfire we turned in for the night.

 

We stayed in a dorm room setting which I thought was perfect for us. It wasn’t so big that we could drift off into our own little worlds. It was the perfect size for us to be close to each other. This allowed us to talk to one another and feel more connected due to the closeness.

We woke up early the next day and headed to the beach for sunrise yoga and followed up with Zumba. The instructor was awesome! I had a lot of fun working out. The yoga was very peaceful and I felt as though I had released something from me that was very heavy after doing yoga. I felt lighter.

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@zumbakatiee

After zumba we headed back to our common area and ate breakfast.

 

1491161172109Towards the end of the retreat, I purchased a green tea bath scrub from @fearlesslylovingyouryoni and I have used it already. My skin feels amazing!

I also received a rose quartz yoni egg. I actually wore it for yoga and zumba……

This retreat was so needed. There was healing, spending time with nature, bonding, support, healthy food, networking, building friendships and so much more. These ladies definitely have a special place in my heart.

I have always said that I needed more in my life. I needed change when it came to my social circle. I needed siSTARS who would support me when I am down and congratulate me when I am up.

My vision board is manifesting!

I am so glad that I took this retreat! I feel renewed. I returned back to my hometown ready to continue my journey with a different mindset. It is time to go beyond our circumstances. It is time……It all starts with YOU.

 

Music credits:  http://www.bensound.com

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