Advertisements

mind

Are You Stuck In A Victim Mindset?

I Am Not A Victim

This post contains a link that will direct you to another site to purchase. The product available for purchase is created by myself (Naturalista4me) and spouse (Evans Dixon).

Having a victim mindset will not help me to heal and darn sure does not help me to grow. There are those people who learn from their stories and then there are those who are drowning in their stories. Some people cannot find a way to move on from the hurtful things of their past or deal with the hurtful things that may come their way in life.

Once you begin to look at things from a different perspective rather than, my life is terrible, I hate my life, the world is against me and anything within this low vibrational mindset, you can begin to do what is necessary to be happy despite.

With everything that I have experienced in life and am currently experiencing, I am able to look back over my past and see that I had problems then too. I made it through those problems and here I am today, standing tall, healthy and encouraged. In my past I had no idea how I would make it through, so I stressed about every little thing. Guess what?! I made it through. Was stressing worth it? Is putting my health at risk worth it?

It was only until this year that I begin to change my mindset from being a victim. I feel so much better! I used to share my stories (everyone has one) and it would depress me all over again. I used to play the blame game. So, and so hurt me. So, and so is not a good person. So, and so will get what is coming to them. Why would so and so hurt me? Why me? Why do I keep encountering obstacle after obstacle? What did I do to deserve this? So many questions and thoughts would mentally drain me.

I also had friends that would entertain my victim mindset and would sometimes even bring up my story to me if I was being too positive. Once I noticed that I would distance myself from that friend for a while. This may sound like a mean thing to do but I did not want to be constantly reminded of hurtful things.

Now when those friends bring up those things, I have learned to redirect the conversation. This way I do not have to distance myself. I am healed from my past and anything that comes at me now I know how to center myself and learn from it. Each situation brings its’ own set of emotions but I still know how to bring myself back to a state of gratefulness and understanding of what is taking place around me.

I Am Not A Victim (2)

I busy myself with things that make me happy. After all, all we really have is the now. If I find myself deep in thought about problems in life, I make myself snap out of it. One day when you are deep in thought about how terrible things are going in your life, observe how your body feels at that moment. How is your energy? What type of energy are you putting out into the universe at that time? Do you think these emotions will make your situation better or worse? If I am consumed in how terrible my life appears to be going, I will look for more things to add to the list of how terrible my life is. I have socks, but it isn’t the socks that I really want. I have food, but it isn’t the food that I really want. I have a car, but it isn’t the car that I want. This way of thinking takes you out of a state of gratefulness.

The old me would stress, sleep, eat and check out mentally. I did not want to be bothered. I ignored phone calls, knocks at the door, emails, texts and avoided going places where I might run into people who may ask me how I am doing. This person that I am today will feel myself getting down, so I immediately start doing something to bring me back to my happy place. This could be putting on some feel good music, dancing around alone or with my husband and kids, reading, writing, calling up a friend, going to the state parks to spend time in nature, going for a drive or whatever is needed to bring my vibration back up.

No one’s life is clear of obstacles. Because this is a fact, the best thing that we can do for ourselves is to learn to be happy anyway. Some people say, “I will be happy when I get rich”. What if I told you that there are rich people who are very unhappy. I recently read a book by Tony Robbins and he mentioned that there was a guy who was a billionaire and when he loss some money (he was still rich) he committed suicide. We shouldn’t wait until we have this or that to be happy.

Many years ago, I did a program called Mind over Money and I learned so much about my relationship with money. When I had a great flow of money I found myself having bad relationships with friends and family. I spoke over myself that I’d rather have just enough to get by so that I can have peace in my relationships. Because of this I began to subconsciously self-sabotage. I would pass up opportunities. I dimmed my light as I didn’t want to shine so bright to offend anyone.

Being that I had this to work on, it was easy for me to get consumed in problems of my past and do the blame game as to why past partnerships didn’t work out. In this, I can only blame myself, right? I created a lot of my past problems because of where my mind was at the time. I attracted a lot of foolery. 😜I allowed people to treat me all types of ways because of how I felt about myself. I allowed people to get over on me because I felt I would be OK (yea right). I can holler I am a victim all day, but I play a role in a lot of my past situations. See, we have more control over our happiness than we think.

Today I can see all of this clearly and it all makes perfect sense. While going through the things I have experienced I put so much fault on others. Some situations were fault of others and unfortunate, but I also played a role in many of my past situations. Being a “victim” made me vulnerable and naive.

I Am Not A Victim (3)

Instead of falling victim to my circumstances I now observe what is going on and take a good look at myself and how I play a role in it. I also look for ways for me to help myself. I ask myself, “what can I do now to make this better or to make sure it will not happen again?” Instead of doing the blame game or being consumed in the low vibration emotions, I acknowledge how I feel and look for a way to make it better.

As I look at those who fell out with me over money I must take responsibility for my part in enabling them by always coming to the rescue even when I couldn’t afford it. I didn’t know how to say no. I felt obligated and put myself last for those who didn’t appreciate me. They treated me like I owed it to them. I allowed that treatment by giving in every time something was needed or requested. I allowed them to disrespect me time and time again and I would still give because I felt pressured. I have learned how to say no, or I have other obligations. I have so much more respect now from those individuals. At first, they didn’t like it (of course) but I put my foot down and conquered the situation.

What about those people who have hurt you? They have moved on with their lives. We must find a way to forgive them and ourselves. Quit beating yourself up about what you should’ve, could’ve done. There isn’t anything that can be changed about it so there is no need to allow this heavy weight to carry on with you for the rest of your life. Take the steps to heal.

Some techniques that I use to heal are cord cutting, visualization, meditation, positive affirmations and spending time in nature. I will talk more in depth about these techniques in another blog post.

I Am Not A Victim (1)

Take back control of your life. You are not a victim. Get out of the victim mindset as it is an anchor. It keeps you down. Every time you revisit that situation in your mind it can cause you to become angry, stagnant and depressed. Get to a place where when you think about the situation you have a peace within you so that you do not fall victim to your circumstances.

You are not a victim, you are more than a conqueror!

Hover over image to see price.

Order your I AM More Than a Conqueror T-shirt or mug today!

Advertisements

A More Natural Way Of Things

18275178_1949673745263771_7790000445992677657_n

Many in my local community, as well as those who follow my Facebook page, know that I am a lover of natural remedies. I have shared natural recipes on social media platforms that I use on my children, as well as myself for natural hair care; but it was only recently that I began to share a little more of the,”natural” concoctions that are used in our home.

I am a habitual researcher and I must say I thoroughly enjoy researching. I like to know what is in the products that I am using and how they will effect my hair, skin, and overall health. The more research I began to do, the more I began to discover things that I wish I knew a long time ago. Welp, no need to beat myself up about it now. When you know better, you do better! Right?! As long as you are living and breathing, it is never to late to take the time to look into the products that you are using on your family and yourself.

on-my-mind_featureWhipping up natural concoctions come naturally to me. If someone tells me they are having a problem with something, my mind automatically starts thinking of different herbs, oils, and other natural remedies that one could research themselves and try.

I truly believe that all we need is provided from nature. I have also learned that many medications that are prescribed, are derived from plants. Of course, more things are added to pharmaceutical drugs for different purposes which is why I personally choose to find a natural remedy if I can. I want to know what is in the pill I am taking.

I have a story that I want to share about a particular medication that was prescribed to me for a urinary tract infection. I have no idea how I got in that bad of condition, but I was given a catheter because I couldn’t use the restroom on my own. I was prescribed a very strong antibiotic – Keflex.  On the paperwork for this medication it stated that the side effects may include: upset stomach, diarrhea, vomiting, skin rash, itching, hives, difficulty breathing, wheezing, unusual bleeding or bruising, sore throat, painful mouth or throat sores, and/or vaginal infection.

I began to feel really out of it and could hardly walk. My legs were aching really bad, my heart was beating like a drum and I literally felt like I was just floating. I didn’t have balance and I really thought I was slowly dying. It was that Serious. I began to research the medicine that I was prescribed and came across a thread that was loaded with complaints about this medication.

I was having many of the same symptoms as the others and I knew I had to figure out something fast. I stopped taking the pills and began to incorporate more natural ways to flush my system. I purchased spring water and drank only spring water for two days. I also drank cranberry juice around the third day of being off the medication. I immediately began to feel better. I had a follow up appointment and the catheter was taken. My doctor did another test on me to check for infection and found nothing. She told me the medicine worked great. I told her I actually tossed the medication in the trash because of how it made me feel. She told me that my side effects were unusual. Unusual or not; I felt had I finished that bottle, I would be dead right now. It was just that serious. I felt it in my spirit that I was slipping away as I lay there in pain.

Flushing myself took discipline. By just drinking water and monitoring the foods that could irritate the urinary tract through research was definitely the right move. Research, research, research!

green smoothieI then began to get into detoxing the body. I drink green smoothies and detox via foot and bath. I make a detox blend that relaxes you while giving you many benefits. Detoxing foot soaks rid your body of toxins, increases circulation, soothes dry skin, aches and pains and so much more.

I thoroughly enjoy educating people on these products because I love them! I use them in my home and it is an absolute pleasure to share my knowledge with those who seek to learn more about detoxing the body. Caring for yourself by using more natural alternatives.

I must say, there are some people who will turn their nose up to natural remedies and will place anything on or in their bodies with no hesitation. This is a mindset that will take some time to reverse as you began to understand that you may be doing yourself more harm than good due to lack of knowledge.

natural deordorant

We must keep an open mind and not shy away from natural remedies. Definitely consult with your physician. (I do not claim to be a doctor) Make sure that what you want to try is safe. Research, research, research! I can not say this enough.

I created a Facebook page titled I Heart Natural Remedies to share many natural alternatives to products containing chemicals, prescription drugs, illnesses and so much more. You can incorporate these natural remedies into your everyday lifestyle for your family.

Natural hair care was my first focus. I have been sharing my natural hair journey for years. I quickly discovered that I can care for my hair on the outside, but I also must care for myself on the inside. There is a site I like to call Google University (Google), that will pull up fruits and veggies that you can consume to help your hair grow. It will also pull up eatable foods that you can apply to the hair for conditioning.

hair-mask

I soon began to really look at the items we had in our kitchen, that I could use, to take better care of us. I eventually began to push the cough syrups and antibiotics to the side, and tried a more natural way for caring for my family and I. With extensive daily research, I began to whip up concoctions to care for my family. I use herbs, essential oils, clay, spices and more. I have been selling these items within my community and educating consumers on their many benefits. I am amazed at all who are trying to go a more natural route. They have tried many things (pharmaceutical), and now they are ready to go at it the more natural way.

18402921_1883755105246153_2740315146314439434_n

Bentonite Clay Hair & Face Mask | Bentonite Clay Foot Detox Soak

As for my extended family, they look at me like I have become some medicine woman. For others, they don’t know how to feel about me honestly!

I was in a grocery store recently. I picked up a bottle of Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar. A lady walked up to me and she asked me; “Are you using it for weight loss?” Now I must say, I do not need to lose any weight. My first thought was, “Woman you don’t see that I am already small enough?!” I am not really tiny but I sure do not need to lose any weight. I’d rather gain! I told her that I use it for hair and body health. The look she gave me was priceless! There I was in the grocery store sharing with her the many ways that I use apple cider vinegar in our home.

It is to the point now, if someone sees me purchasing coconut oil, avocado’s, etc., they assume that I am whipping up a natural concoction that I wouldn’t be eating. I do consume avocado in my green smoothies and have cooked with coconut oil as well, but I also use them externally along with many other things.

I was accepted into the college of American Healthcare Sciences. Soon, I would like to travel and learn abroad. I am studying to be a Master Herbalist and Holistic Health Practitioner.

 

With the internal changes that I have made, I have noticed great external results. Glowing skin and healthy growing hair. I am more energetic and grateful for life than ever before!

We can work on our outer-selves by applying products that promise us great results; but we can not neglect our inner-selves in the process. We can not close our eyes to what we are putting on our skin and in our bodies that can cause illnesses/disease. There has to be balance in mind, body, and soul for you to be your absolute best self!

 

beautiful-forest-waterfall-rocks-nature-animated-gif.gif

FulfilledWellness.com

Health and Wellness Blog

Coexisting Naturals

Natural hair is our affair.

Fey

Fey o, sove lavi mwen :: Oh leaves, save my life

Seaux Quin

Creative visionary with a passion for literature and performing arts.

Semi Freeform Loc'n

Celebrating Locs Nationwide

Delux Designs (DE), LLC

Art Is Life Is Art

Living Within Your Purpose

This site is about life, common sense, laughter, crying, living out loud, abuse topics, loving and learning your children, sex, testimonies, making mistakes, forgiving other's that have wronged you, and more

Coily Fro

A Natural Hair Blog

The Godly Chic Diaries

Smiling • Writing • Dreaming

Staring at the Sun

In case you wanted to read my thoughts

Pearl Of Jersey

lifestyle blog

tetehumba

The Creative In Me

DaibyDai

Take it step by step and daibydai

WE NATURAL GURLZ

HAIR. BEAUTY. LIFESTYLE

MERCYSTACY

A girl who loves diy,food,fashion and lifehacks