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motivational

Natural Woman

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by Sabrina Sainthilaire –http://www.ladyinthewilderness.com/

You make me feel…you make me feel…you make me feel like a natural woman…woman… If anyone remembers this song you are an 80’s baby that experienced some good times watching your Mother sing the words to this song while revealing bits of her most confident self! Well, at least this was my experience with the song. However, I found myself singing this song today! Yes, I found myself feeling my most confident, my most natural, my most beautiful. Why? Well, that’s easy! Because I can look in the mirror and SEE!!! I can see who God has created in His image! I can see myself again! Lol…yes, I lost myself for a minute. Caring too much about what others think while also feeling that no matter what I did, who I was, or how I appeared would never – ever- be good enough! Through my eyes, however, it seemed as if everyone else was perfect! Make-up without flaw, attire without wrinkle, shoes without scuff, hair made-up without effort! Yet, when I looked at myself… my eyes could never be satisfied because I could never truly see – ME!

The wonderful thing about blogging is that I get to tell you how I got to this point…this point of confidence! Here goes nothing!

Natural woman in the making! Mirror observation…“When I looked in the mirror I would only see my flaws.” – Rose Lady

  • FACE –I would notice a blemish before noticing the beautiful skin it lies on, I would notice an unwanted hair before I notice the beautiful freckle it sat on, I would notice an untamed lash before I noticed the almond shaped eye it protected, I would notice open pores before I noticed the golf-ball shaped nose that the Lord so humorously blessed me with! But then to top it all off, I would cover it all with make-up and become another person before I could truly appreciate who I was!
  •  BODY – As I observed my body I would only see the battles that it has endured. The pains of breakups, insecurities, misuses, scars from laboring in the workforce, the births of my children, so on and so forth. I would be so quick to cover it up, thus, feeling complete. But why did it have to take a nice outfit or get-up to make me feel that I had a nice body! Instead of recognizing the beauty underneath, I was depending on material and worldly things to validate my body before I would validate it myself in its natural form! In addition to this travesty, I would wear clothes that I would need to squeeze into! This would help me force a figure that I did not have, appear to be something that I was not, and feel better about the fact that I could still fit into these smaller clothes. This further ruined my body because the fabrics were cutting into my skin, decreasing circulation to certain areas if I sat the wrong way, and attracting unwanted/unwelcome attention. Plus, I WAS NEVER COMFORTABLE!
  • HAIR – My poor hair has been the most abused of all three. Growing up I always wanted hair like someone else. No matter who else, just as long as it was anyone else. For the longest I wanted my elder sisters hair, even now she is commonly known as Naturalista4me! I love her to death, however, her hair is one to envy. I have chopped my hair off, kept it in braids for a solid year, quick-weaved it, sewed it, burned it (relaxer), and kept it undercover (wig)! I could never be satisfied… When I looked in the mirror, I was never satisfied with my hair…never.

Natural woman in the making! The Change…

“It took me to make a dramatic change, something new, something undiscovered and embrace it until I liked it!” – Rose Lady

  1. I returned natural – mind, body, and soul
  2. I no longer cut my hair, permed my hair, or tied my hair down.
  3. I no longer took a razor or wax to my brows
  4. I no longer applied make-up…even for special occasions
  5. I no longer wore smaller clothes that made me uncomfortable – yes – I went up two sizes!
  6. I invested in moisturizers that were safe for my skin
  7. I invested in oils that would bring out my hairs natural spiral
  8. I started reciting inspirational and uplifting words to strengthened my self-confidence
  9. I started embracing my body and gradually I started to see beauty above flaw
  10. I chose to see myself as God has saw me from the beginning, this had to begin with forgiving myself for all things that distanced me away from God.

Natural woman in the making! The Result…

“I felt like a new original, an untouchable beauty, someone that no longer blended into artificial society”- Rose Lady

These changes started to reflect positively on my Spirits. It was as if I had become plugged in to a source of ongoing security. My blemishes were minimized and actually accentuated my face, my unibrow was annoying – I must admit – but my eyebrows were gorgeous in it’s natural shape, my skin was starting to heal from the maltreatment of harsh chemicals and the wear of clothes that pinched and rubbed beyond comfort! I became comfortable in my own skin! So, to sum this up, the things I gained from this transformation were…

Don’t concern yourself with the things other people say!

They don’t know you, your background, your circumstances, and they don’t know what makes you happy

Find yourself

  • FACE – If you like make-up, cool, but don’t wear it to cover what it is that you don’t like. Embrace the flawed part of you, become comfortable with that part, and understand that God’s grace is sufficient for you! After I allowed my face to go bare for a while, I decided on lip gloss and eye liner in the end. That is all I wanted! I rarely cover my marks and only pluck out the “UNI” part of my “BROW”.
  • BODY – Find your comfort style and embrace it, if you are a thick individual but admire tight-fitted clothing don’t buy your clothes small! You can buy your size clothing and it still holds that style. Then question, why is it that you wear such hugging attire? Is it for attention? Is it because you are still stuck on being smaller? Going through “The change” process will help you to answer these questions. I know that I have bought a cotton -stretch pencil skirt… it’s super cute, sexy, comfortable, and I can breathe!
  • HAIR – Give your hair a break! After my worldly detoxification process, I managed to grow my hair in abundance. My color grew almost completely out, I learned so many new styles and was showered in compliments because of it! To ‘fro it out was my go-to. Becoming comfortable with your afro is the hardest, so this is important for you to master – thus resulting in the full acceptance of your hair’s natural beauty, boldness, and strength.

I grew more in my spirituality

  • Whether it was the lack of attention I was paying to other areas of my life or that God was steadily reaching out to me, I noticed that I felt more connected to his love than ever before! Untainted on the outside and developing on the inside.

It’s time for you to feel like a natural woman!!! Please comment below and tell me a bit about your thoughts on transformation, the process of your transformation, and the result!

Lady In The Wilderness is an all out life on speed dial site that covers topics on faith, family, finances, struggles, depression, military-related issues, and anything else you can think of from a small-town country apple dipped in city living caramel perspective!!

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When The Stresses of Life Keep You From The Things You Love

by Sabrina Sainthilaire- Lady In The Wilderness

 

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I know it has been a while since I have blogged, which needless to say means that I am entirely stressed out! Besides prayer, writing is all I have to truly get out how I feel. Sometimes I think to rename my site( http://roseladywilderness.blogspot.com/) the Weaver because I have been told that I take life issues, complicated, and un-complicate them by weaving them together into a beautiful piece of art. Thus, I throw my issues out to the world, then bring myself understanding by staring them in the face and merging them into a semi-funny, lovingly hearty, and desirable read!

Stressor I: I have been wanting to provide a better life for my children for as long as I can remember. Now, more than ever since I am there sole parent. I have dedicated two years (in March) to finding a career path that will provide daytime hours, solid benefits, and salary pay. A field that vacation can be procured and sick leave is encouraged at the pull of a tissue! In these years I have written, re-written, and completely over-written my resume. I have a federal resume, short resume, IT resume, Law enforcement resume, educator resume….in all formats such as functional, chronological, and plain comical….funny….okay, not funny. Guess what guys, believe it or not, I GOT ‘THE’ JOB!!! How, only God! The day I got the job was so horrible that I didn’t even notice I had the job. I received an email the same afternoon from the lady I interviewed with, but left so discouraged that I didn’t check my email. I received a call the following morning stating that they needed me to sign and send back over paperwork…it still didn’t register that I had got the job! It wasn’t until late afternoon when they sent over the direct deposit paperwork along with the dates of training that I realized that “I GOT THE JOB!!!!” YES!

The blessing in it all, it took two years for God to Bless me with this job. I wonder if all that I have endured was only to teach me how to be humble. I have been to the lowest point of having no food, taking donations from every place that would offer, applying for assistance in just about every government program, not having gas to get my children to or from school, sacrificing everything that I was accustomed to so that I could give my children a better life, and lying awake at night praying and crying well into the day for the Lord to bring me relief…any relief.

In this time… I learned that no matter how tall I stand in life to not forget the bottom that God has brought me from, to keep him at the head of all things in my life, and to rely on him to continue to provide as he did when I had nothing.

Stressor II: Homework! My children’s homework is so tough! I have a son in kindergarten and a daughter in the 1st grade. I could only imagine what I should suspect when I have middle and high-school students! This homework that my children come home with takes hours to complete. I have structured my schedule to one child per day. My daughters homework days are Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday. My son’s homework days are now Tuesday and Thursday. This gives me two days of uninterrupted time with the 1st grader and one day of uninterrupted time with the kindergartner. My son (the kindergartner) can complete most of his weeks homework in a day, therefore, it is easy to concentrate all of his work into that one day, Praise God. My daughter, however, she needs the three days. Homework is due on Friday so that day is out of the question.

The blessing in this…I love the one-on-one learning time that I get to spend with them. It makes learning even more fun, I have more energy, and I feel that they understand the material better. What is the other child doing while the one child is working? Reading of course! So this plan also gives both children the ability to spend more time behind a book! Good books too! I thank God!

Stressor III: Gym stress! I have been really on a strict workout schedule at the gym, working-out 5 times a week for the past two weeks. I actually haven’t been this week but two days so I must dedicate myself to going tomorrow (Friday). Which brings me to my next stressor…

Blessing in this case, I lost 10lbs!!!

Stressor IV: The school dance…the SCHOOL DANCE! My children have a dance to go to at school on Friday evening. Of course I am a volunteer parent monitor and I must have my children stick by my side! However, they seem to be disinterested in me even being there, let alone sticking by my side. So I think I may have a nervous breakdown in front of their friends because my children are no longer babies…NO LONGER BABIES!! It Is well…

The blessing in this, they get to have fun that won’t cost me a dime!

Stressor V: Men, but not too much because I don’t have one, lol! However, I don’t think a man could possibly keep me away from blogging. My ideal man would encourage my blogging so I don’t act coo coo, lol! The stress that I have in the area of men on this time dwells in the approaching, emphasized, day for love. So I give myself the benefit of the doubt. At least I am not stuck with a man that I don’t need or have settled for due to my lack of patience. I will continue to pray that God supplies my needs in this area.

The blessing in this, When he finds me God will have already prepared him and I will appreciate him so much more because I know he is “FOR” me. The wait for him is sooooooo worth it! Amen

 

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About Sabrina!

http://roseladywilderness.blogspot.com/

Sabrina secured a bachelors degree under the pressures of military life, full time parenting of two, and the stressors of everyday life. She graduated summa cum laude with a GPA of 3.97. She hopes to succeed beyond all peers through the creativeness learned in her studies of criminal justice and encourage proactive rather than a reactive form of applying it. She is passionate about the successful rehabilitation of offenders, yet she is fully knowledgeable and skilled towards computers, radios, satellites and anything that maintains or transmits a signal. These skills she learned as a Signal Support Systems Specialist (25U) in the United States Army. She wants to lead by example so that her children can reach their fullest potential. She thanks God for all of her successes!

 

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