Since relocating to Tennessee, I joined some groups so that I can get out of the house and connect with more like minded people. I have also been connecting with ladies while out and about grocery shopping and such. One thing that I must work on consistently is following through by showing up somewhere (when invited) where there will be a crowd. I deal with anxiety when contemplating attending events. I had to look deep within myself to see what this is about.
I learned that it is a confidence issue. I believed that what I had to say was not as important as what the next person may have to say. As much as I study and implement, I still would feel like maybe I need to learn more so that I can feel comfortable with talking with others about what I do. I did not want to come off as a know it all who really doesn’t know everything.
We are all forever learning so I should not have let that be a reason to shut me up when I needed to speak up and be confident in doing so. To others I was Naturalista4me the blogger but to me I was just Qwania. Many seen in me what I couldn’t see in myself.
This was a major part of my self-seeking journey. I had to learn about myself (the good and bad) and how and why I processed the way I did. Once I was able to narrow that down, I was able to deal with it therefor it can no longer hold me up unless I allow it to.
I met this lady at the store and she looked at me and said that I have beautiful energy and wanted to introduce herself. We talked, hugged and exchanged numbers. She invited me to attend a black professional’s mixer with her and her friends and at first, I began to look for every reason not to go. My husband said, “woman you need to go”. Ok, so I went! I had a wonderful time and made great connections.
I put on my vision board a few years ago that I wanted to attract a new social circle that supports where I am in life as well as support me as I am growing. I wanted to attract friends who are also seeking to start or already have their own businesses so that we can discuss business. I wanted to attract friends who were in relationships so that my husband and I can have couple outings with friends. I wanted to attract friends that have children, so they can play with my children therefor our children will create new friendships.
I learned that the ladies I was with are starting or have already started their own businesses, I learned that they have children, partners and are looking for the same things I am looking for in their social circle. I have manifested this into my reality.
If I had not gone to the mixer, I would not have met these ladies. I had to get over my anxiety to push through and my husband helps me with that a lot. He knows how to talk to me to help me get over myself. I am getting into the habit of pushing through my feelings of discomfort as I believe on the other side of comfort lies the desires of my heart.
I didn’t feel overwhelmed with all the people in the room and I also felt confident. I shared what I do as well as listened to everyone else. I told myself before going that I would just keep quiet but I realized that was that confidence issue kicking in. Why would I be quiet if I am going to network? That doesn’t make any sense. Why would I not share what I am passionate about in person as I have no problem doing it through my computer and cell phone. That doesn’t make any sense either.
What I have to say does make a difference and the more I open up and speak, the more I find myself helping someone who has been waiting on an answer to their questions.
The ladies were all so welcoming of me. We are already planning to get together again soon.
I understand that in order to manifest the life I desire, I must get over myself. In order for me to do that I had to first learn and understand the roots of my behavior and thought patterns. I have learned that I do have a choice. I can choose to stay within the vibration that no longer serves me (old ways and patterns) or I can choose a new way of doing things. I’ll take that for 100 please! Lol!.
On this self self-seeking journey I have found inner peace. I have the power to change my life and overcome any mental or health illness, doubt, fears, etc. that may try to come to the forefront. . I can overcome any challenges that come my way!