The end of the year is quickly approaching, and many are sharing their new year’s resolutions. I have never been the one to do new years resolutions as I believe in jumping on things now – like right now. This year I am setting a goal that is generalized. I know, you may say that a generalized goal isn’t specific, and you are right. I do have my specific goals written out already and I am actively working on those goals daily.
My generalized goal for 2018 is to get over myself. I grew up thinking little of myself and this did not go away once I became an adult. I decided to “lay low” and made sure I did not do too much to make me stand out. I did model once, but because I felt like I could become successful in that, I began to back away from the casting calls. My confidence was not there like many people thought it would be.
I did not have a support system when it came to my modeling dream and to be completely honest, the ones who were saying “that is good Qwania” to me once I got chosen for a gig gave me a completely different energy that overruled what their mouths were saying. My confidence was not there already, and it did not help to have the awkward energy from those I thought would be my main supporters.
So, when I say that I am getting over myself that means that I am getting out of my own way. I am going to purposely work on my confidence in my works and stop self-sabotaging due to thoughts and feelings of doubt. I am stopping being so overly critical of myself to the point to where I shut myself down. I get in a “stuck” state of being where my ideas are there in my head, but I am not taking the steps to bring them to my reality.
I began to wonder if what I bring to the world is really helping. During these moments I usually receive an email, YouTube video comment or run into someone who tells me that I am helping them so much. See, if what I am doing does not help someone else, I am not fulfilled in my works. My purpose consists of me helping others. How can I do this sitting around stuck with ideas floating around in my head.
I was listening to an inspirational video by Les Brown and he stated that the richest place on earth is the graveyard because, so many take their ideas to the grave. This opened my eyes. We are creators. Why are we not creating the desires of our hearts? Why are we our own worst enemy? Why do we go harder for others than we do for our own personal goals? We will work 40-60 hours a week for a company helping to achieve the company goals but give our goals the leftover energy. The I don’t feel like this energy. The I’ll get to it later energy. Before you know it, years have passed, and we are still saying we will get to our goals eventually.
If tomorrow is not promised, what makes us think we have years to procrastinate? I may live past 100 years of age but is it promised to me though? I want to live a life where I can visit beautiful nature sights all over the world with my family and just be. I want the feeling of freedom. Don’t we all?
Because I know exactly what I want, I need to get out of my own way and make it happen. I know I will be uncomfortable along this path, but it is all a part of it. I recently moved out of my comfort zone physically (my hometown). I am completely uncomfortable in a new city that is way bigger than where I came from. I often catch myself looking at the scenery and smiling. It takes my breath away. For me to grow I must stay out of my comfort zone so that I do not find myself settling. I am forever learning and growing.
For the new year I am getting out of my own way, what about you? Do you have a new year’s resolution?