Holding on to your split ends is trouble……
Too many times I see women dealing with damaged hair as they are afraid to cut/trim it because they will lose length. They are willing to deal with the damaged hair for the sake of length. If we are so worried about length, does this not subliminally suggest that we believe it is hard to grow our hair or that short hair is not beautiful? Why do you think many Sista’s hold on to hair that is damaged for dear life?
When I was between the ages of 7-15 I had hair that was shoulder length and this made me feel beautiful. Long slick hair was admired by many in school and it felt good to receive compliments. I have always had long healthy growing nails. They are not long curly nails, but they grow out long, healthy and strong. My mother once cut off my nails as my sister and I got into a sibling fight and she chose to cut my nails because I left a scratch on my sister. That crushed me to the core but oh well, that is the past. So, what was my attachment to the length of my nails? What was my attachment to having longer hair? It made me feel important, worthy and beautiful. Wow! As I am typing this I can tell that I have really come a very long way in how I think about beauty and feeling important.
My hair began to break off around 16 years of age as my mother gave us relaxers every now and then, but she didn’t have the time to do our hair as often as my sisters and I needed due to her strenuous work schedule. My grandmother owned a salon and my mother also did hair in that salon when I was younger. I used to walk around watching the stylists do hair and my grandmother would also teach me different things like how to do waves, a jerry curl, roller sets and updos. I had to take what my grandmother taught me and apply it so that I could keep my hair up as well as my siblings. I asked my auntie if I could use one of her manikin heads and she let me use it and I taught myself how to braid. I then began to braid my mom’s hair, my sisters (sometimes) and myself. I did my own micros for my graduation pictures.
I began to practice hairstyles on my already damaged hair. I loved rocking a ponytail. You know that old style of slicking your hair up with gel into the center of your head and adding some weave with glue or bobby pins to the ponytail. What about those microwave curls? You know, the ones that you roll up and put in the microwave to dry to achieve a roller set look. That was the ish……until I began getting sores from the bobby pins that were digging into the center of my head. Nothing is more aggravating then having a bobby pin in your head that you can’t get to. This caused more breakage in the top of my head. Enough was enough and I decided that I should cut my hair, so I did. I cut off those split ends and ended up with a bob of some sort and would just rock a butterfly clip on it.
I believe that during that time I really let go of the long hair is the only beautiful mindset. Cutting my hair improved my growth until I started slapping in that creamy crack every 6 weeks that weakened it.
So many are transitioning to natural and one common thing that I notice when I ask them why not just big chop is their fear of having short hair. Even if it was just a matter of cutting off 2-3 inches therefor leaving a lot of hair, they still felt uncomfortable about it. They say they do not want to lose their length they have worked so hard to achieve.
So, let’s talk about how we can be our only hold up by being afraid to cut our hair in any way because we do not want to lose length.
Split ends can prolong your hair growth goals. Many do not go and get trimmings because they are afraid that the stylist may cut too much, and/or you are not ready to lose your length. Does the length of your hair define you as a person?
Split ends are at the end of your hair strands and it is a damaged part of the hair strand. If you do not get your trimmings when it is time, split ends can travel up the strand of the hair causing more damage to the entire strand.
I had a blow out done once since I have been natural and when my stylist showed me a picture of the back of my head, my hair was a little past my shoulders. All the hair that past my shoulders needed to be cut because of the split ends. I ended up with a bob like haircut again, BUT my hair began to flourish. I am sure if I would have gotten my trims when it was time instead of prolonging it for years, I may not have had to cut off so much hair.
Do you want a healthy hair journey? If your answer is yes, then do not be afraid to let go of those split/damaged ends. Do not be afraid to cut off the damaged hair. Well, what about those who say their head is too big for short hair (that was me in the beginning too). I would say accept and embrace yourself no matter what. So, what my head looks big! I will soon have a big ole afro to cover this big head.
We need to remove the unhealthy attachment that we have placed on what beauty is. Beauty is not just long hair. It is not just short hair. You are beYOUtiful no matter how you rock your hair! Healthy growing hair is the goal.
It is time to let go of those damaged ends so that you can experience a healthy hair journey.
Are you holding on to damaged hair?